Emmons Co. Record Mischief and Satire Column
A collection of quips and reflections from a Linton ND newspaper page. Items lampoon law and society, note municipal politics, and offer moral observations on honesty, temper, and human folly. Includes lines on drinking, mirror defects, and a Canadian pupil misappropriation anecdote.
Parnell Humor Fumbles Amid Irish Land League Tale
MacDonagh recounts Mr Parnell failing to grasp a pun at the first Irish Land League meeting presiding over by Mr Kettle where Parnell offered thanks with I need hardly observe that in Ireland the name of Kettle is a house hold word. A Western town funeral for Union soldier Hogg features a clergyman extemporizing an eulogy and saying This country must be saved even if it shall cost the life of many a Hogg.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
MacDonagh
Parnell
Irish Land League
Kettle
Ireland
Hogg
Ancient papyrus letter hints at modern social forms
An Oxyrhynchus papyrus letter to a wife from Peterisis reads like a contemporary plea for date plans and travel, noting a 20th birthday festival and logistics by boat or donkey. Also referenced are Porto Rican calls for work and markets, Kipling, a Meade view on Russia’s peace manifesto, and Walter Scott relics inclining to auction and hair samples.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Oxyrhynchus
Egypt Exploration Fund
Serenia
Peterisis
Desperate Chicago Highwaymen Reach New Low on Rail Trade
Fragmentary report describes Chicago highwaymen near Kentucky border drifting into bold, reckless actions as they threaten railway workers and attempt to abduct a man tied to railroad trade. Details are unclear but imply escalating violence and grab for leverage.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
Wealthy Pals Estranged Over Cripple Creek Miners
James Doyle and James Burns once famed as Portland era pioneers of Cripple Creek Portland claim rose from two feet to 185 acres. Their bond dissolved amid legal fights, lawsuits, and political rivalries ending with Doyle jailed for contempt as Burns entrenched in conflict over stock and Uintah tunnel.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cripple Creek
James Doyle
James Burns
Colorado
Damon and Pythias
Doyle
Burns
Portland
New England
Jimmie Doyle
Jimmie Burns
Twinkle
The
Battle Mountain
Portland Gold Mining Company
Uintah Tunnel
Victor
Colorado Springs
Ebullitions of land lordism and ferry bridge debate
London Truth reports on the Laird of Elchies refusing a site for a Spey ferry bridge arguing it would threaten his patrimonial rights and a ferry-house rent of eighteen pounds a year. The piece links landlord power to national unity and defense via a proposed cable scheme.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. W.H. Grant
Elchies
Spey
London
Taught a Lesson in a Hotel Room of Yesterday
A dissolute former salesman contemplates ruin after failing to secure partnership at a firm. While lamenting lost chances and recalling Hannah, he folds toward despair, considers violence, but instead helps a hungry ragamuffin in a depot town, offering a moment of humanity amid decay.
Britain’s Largest Lakes Described in Detail
The largest lake in the British Isles is Lough Neagh in Ulster Ireland. It measures about nine miles by eight and covers 98 255 acres with a maximum depth of 120 feet and a shore level 48 feet above water. It drains via the Lower Bann to the North Channel and hosts petrified wood fossils, diverse fish, and waterfowl. Loch Lomond is noted as Scotland’s largest lake at forty five square miles and 220 feet above sea level, while Windermere stands as England’s most extensive lake and is famed as the Queen of the Lakes for its scenery.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Britain
British Isles
Lough Neagh
Ulster
Ireland
Bann
Scotland
Loch Lomond
Windermere
England
Turban Advocates and Odd Headgear in Uruguay
In South American Sketches Robert Crawford notes a remarkable headcooling device used by an Irish office boy in Uruguay. The device, though extraordinary, suffered two defects: it was not portable and not easily worn in public.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Robert Crawford
Uruguay
Language Shifts: Early English Lord's Prayer Variants
A compilation of English renderings from 1258 to 1611 showing language changes. It lists versions from Fader ure in heune to Our Father in heaven with variations in spelling, grammar, and phrasing, illustrating the evolution toward modern English.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Fader
Heune
Erthe
Hevene
Yves
Heaven
Earth
In the Making. Tea and glassworkers in Palestine item
Boarder complains the tea is weak while the landlady claims to buy only the best. The dialogue notes the presence of glassworkers in Hebron and mentions various manufacturing references linked to Palestina.
Life Saving Medal Hidden in Ordinary Bite
In a small cheap restaurant Mr Letson smiles at the waiter and pens his address for a future note. He gives a boy a gold piece as a Christmas gift. The moment feels palatable yet the gesture masks a deeper hope about education and easing racial tension.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Letson
Oriental Lane
Mr.Letson
Long Lives and Odd Obits in a Quirky Page
Statisticians note women often outlive men with many examples. Voltaire and Newton reputedly frail at birth or age, yet lived long lives. data show higher female longevity in France and Europe. A wealthy Maryland man held a grand cat funeral for his daughter's former pet, coffin, shroud, pallbearers, and flowers.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Voltaire
Isalac Newton
FontaneHe
Torpe
Margaret Verdun
Marie Prioux
Cepey
United States
France
Europe
Annie Armstrong
County Clare
Ireland
Elkton
Kitty
Royal Cooks and Household Skills of European Princesses
European princesses are praised as models of domestic skill in German and Austrian royal families. Empress Augusta Victoria and Queen Victoria's daughters are highlighted for cooking, dressmaking, and housekeeping prowess, with notes on Wilhelmina and Elizabeth of Bavaria mastering domestic arts and languages in court life.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Germany
Empress Augusta Victoria
Louise of
Baden
Victoria
Sweden
England
Princess of Wales
Holland
Wilhelmina
Vienna
Francis Joseph
Elizabeth of
Bavaria
Prabin
Ustria
Poland
Cabinet Portraits Cost Cut By Crayon Depiction
Cabinet officers traditionally have their portraits painted for the government. Secretary Wilson objected to the usual 500 to 1000 dollar expense for this purpose and settled on a crayon portrait with its frame costing 60 dollars, as a compromise relic for the department of agriculture.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Wilson
Department of Agriculture
Number of poor authors as great as those poor in purse
The saying draws a parallel between authors who lack wealth and those who lack status, suggesting equal counts of poverty among writers. It questions whether literary merit correlates with financial hardship, noting the enduring presence of authors who write despite scarcity.
Fashion Drives Foot Binding Reform In China
Fashion pushes social change as Hunan governor bans cruel foot-binding and anti binding societies grow. Membership fees fund dowries for poor women with natural feet. Conversations aboard a river steamer show suitors preferring natural feet, signaling widespread unfashionableness of binding. Tracts against cruelty spread, led by Christian ladies and echoed by non Christians alike.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hunan
China
Nelsons flagship now cut up for exhibition and salvage
A storm wrecked Nelsons flagship off Blackpool two years ago and a German firm planned to break it up for timber and metal. A rescuer bought the ruin for exhibition but the ship proved too far gone. A company has since salvaged wood and metal and remade remnants into medals cups chains and other items while selling the rest for various uses.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Nelson
Thant
Blackpool
Witti
Wreck tale links rulers and a memorial plaque
A049 fragment mentions Menelik receiving a memorial plaque and King Umberto of Italy to obtain items. It recalls Herr Seeth performing at Blackpool when the Foudroyant wrecked and how Menelik learned of the wondrous tale, linking historical curiosities.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hven Wulperor Menelik
Umberto
Italy
Herr Seeth
Blackpool
Foudroyant
Seeth Menelik
Once Inn
Also Mentioned on This Page
Emmons Co. Record
D. R. Streeter
Linton, Emmons Co.,nd
Jerry Simpson
Tammany
Senate
Quay
C. H. Spurgeon
Troy Times
Bellevue Hospital
Kipling
Russia
Edwin D. Mead
Walter Scott
Abboteford
Sir Sandford Fleming
Chambers' Journal
Lofidon
Britannia
Amy
Gils
Jett R
Hannah
Maria Simpson
Miss Simpson
Boty Land
Hebron
Pacal
Palestina
Royal Cooks
505Ciety
Nelson's
He’ Prince of Wales
Fea Ben Titos
Blackpool Company
the Foudroyant
Abyssinia
Sentie
Wale Dalam
Ter