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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jun 05, 1903
Page
2
A string of wry aphorisms and satirical comments on headlines, society, and politics. The notes mock naiveté and vanity, mention Russia Manchuria jokes, Belmont and Vanderbilt tangles, and warn about abundance of inherited wealth dampening ambition. Diverse snatches reflect a late 19th or early 20th century paper’s humor column.
A reflective line observes that some men avoid joining in the rain while some women, whose ankles seem flattering, wisely refrain from going out in the rain. The quip contrasts male fragility with female prudence in weathered crowds.
Frau Wagner believes Parsifal will be vulgarized in the United States after learning that A Hot Time in the Old Town is treated as a national anthem and battle hymn.
The home of the capitol at Washington is getting a fresh coat of paint for the first time in nine years, a sign the country enjoys prosperity.
A New Jersey woman left fifty dollars to fund a jollification over her corpse. The gathering occurred as planned, and attendees drank heavily with the phrase or the dead cited as the toast.
A Pennsylvania congregation asked Mr. Carnegie for $1,000 to buy a new organ described humorously as a “kist o' whustles.” Carnegie replied briefly in Scots: I wult.
A cheerful note for readers that the predicted apocalypse has been postponed to 2914. The statement implies more time to settle affairs and prepare, with humor about dressing well for the era ahead.
News notes that Balkan turmoil is lifting attar of roses prices, a key Bulgarian industry. The fragment suggests public interest may grow among women readers.
Frank Sallen of Marlboro Connecticut won a $50 prize by sawing 17 cards of hard wood in five hours. This is believed to be a record, and readers are invited to try it if they doubt the claim using a woodpile and a saw.
The Hartford Post editor laments the petty sting of waking from a church snooze to find eyes on him, calling it one of the meanest feelings a man can endure. The remark underscores churchgoing social scrutiny.
A reward of 5000 dollars was offered for the return of a rope of pearls lost by a New York woman. A working girl who found the jewels received 100 dollars and now sues for 4900 dollars. The case hinges on the remaining reward.
A passage from the Japan Mail of April 11 notes Osaka copper mining produced 1,400,000 km in the last half year but questions remain. It then states the company will declare an eight percent dividend, a statement portrayed as universally understood.
A young New York millionaire escorts a detective to Bible class each Sunday, showing apparent strong faith in religious practices. The arrangement suggests personal piety influencing social circles and investigative cases.
Secretary Chamberlain switches from gloom to optimism and proposes spending 175 million dollars on South Africa development, signaling a major policy shift and expanded aid scope.
Postmaster General Payne denies plans to resign while Secretary Root orders a court martial for Second Lieutenant Oliver P. Robinson of the Thirteenth Infantry over candy fund accounts. Hitchcock to approve a timber sale contract for about 100 million feet to Stearns Lumber in Lac du Flambeau Wisconsin.
A $400000 fire left a quarter of St Hyacinth Que homeless as multiple plants burned. Fire destroyed Glenshaw Glass Wittmer Brick Jackson and Murray hotels and Meyers home with $100000 loss. A horse accident sidelined comedian Frank Daniels in Rye. A waterspout near Omaha caused crop damage and heavy Plattsmouth losses estimated at $75000. A tramp in Newark impaled by a fence may recover. Henri Fournier’s record car wrecked between electric cars in New York City.
A wary summary enumerates multiple tragic acts and alleged crimes including Mrs. Elvan Bachman of Allentown who killed her two babies and tried to kill herself, bankers and others attempting suicide, a grand jury testimony about a bribe to reduce official fees, a Jamestown Burgess who shot and hanged himself, Bridgeport dealer who shot himself, lynching in Madison, a Newark arrest for platinum theft, a Turner shooting in Tennessee, and a Terre Haute fire captain who poisoned himself after relapsing.
Spain reorganizes her navy. Mme Emma Calve recovers from an aconite overdose. The Philippine government suppresses two seditious plays in Manila and Batangas. Turkey to buy two warships built for Argentina. Brazilian commission welcomed in Santiago de Chile. Argentina plans August expedition to search for Nordenskjold in Antarctica. Manila supreme court finds Dorr and O'Brien not guilty of sedition. French sportsman Charron admits duel challenge to Margbiloman after Chan tilly race dispute. Ethel Bronson and Don Rospigioini receive papal blessing. Anti clerics trigger riot in a Belleville church with priest ousted. Also unrest in Plaisance and Marseilles.
Reports from the era cover party decisions in Cedar Rapids Iowa a royal wedding in Cleveland June 10 and various political and social items. Mentions include Roosevelt attendance at Ruth Hanna McCormick wedding, Northwestern College liberal arts eligibility changes manual training entry, Woodmen of the World extension to miners and seafarers, Sen Spooner buying Blanchard estate in Pittsburg NH, and Illinois Torrens law Probate Court power. Additional items note a Canadian auto duty, railway conductors convention outcomes autopsy findings on Iona Mason and mixed regional happenings.
Overflow from the wires reports the armored cruiser King Alfred chosen to carry the Prince and Princess of Wales to India in autumn. Also noted are a $100000 fire at C Dietrich & Lors pork packers in Allegheny Pennsylvania, and several narrow escapes.
Grain and live stock prices across major centers show wheat varied from 73 1 2 to 81 1 2 cents with No 1 Northern near 80. Corn ranges 41 to 47 8 cents. rye and barley figures listed. Livestock prices feature cattle and hogs with mixed ranges. Sioux City and Chicago reports show steers around 4.90 to 5.40, hogs 6.25 to 6.80, and lambs 4.50 to 7.10, reflecting regional demand.
In Thurmond W Va May 29 a renewed mine clash broke out at the Big Q mines on Laurel creek as strikers tried to march in to recruit non union men. Guards opened fire and the strikers returned fire. Guard Marshall Brown was killed and several injured as over 100 shots were fired before the attackers withdrew. More trouble was anticipated today.
Erie Pennsylvania May 29 police officers below chief and captain grade resigned to Mayor Hardwick to take effect June 1 unless salaries rise from sixty to seventy five dollars. Two months earlier they issued demands and threatened a strike. Council bickered over an ordinance but the ultimatum stands.
Manchester May 29 Colonial Secretary Chamberlain's condition causes anxiety among friends. It is feared he will need an extended rest to avoid breaking down.
Paris May 29 reports a young woman near St. Quentin who slept in a trance for twenty years and woke last night. The papers describe song stories surrounding the remarkable case in a local vicinity.
A May report from Santiago confirms bubonic plague cases at Iquique, the Chilean seaport. Ten cases were recorded on Monday, six fatalities, with authorities enforcing preventive steps after the disease arrived aboard a rice cargo from India.
May 20 Jackson Kentucky reports frenzied tension as troops thwart a suspected rescue or attack on Curtiss Jett and Tom White. A Gatling gun squad stood night watch. a prowler was a cow. a bank window was shot. a searchlight illuminated the jail from a hilltop. a special judge may be appointed if Judge Redwine worsens. trial details and a special jury venire from another county were discussed.
Captain Patrick Gordon of the barge C. A. Maxwell was washed overboard and drowned near Houghton Michigan last night. The Maxwell, in tow of the propeller Turned from Duluth, careened in high seas, parted the tow line, and lost steering gear as the sea filled the vessel. Gordon was below forward when he was washed overboard.
Striking teamsters in St Louis yesterday failed to unite. Of about 5,000 members in the city fewer than 1,000 obeyed the strike order, despite counsels and protests from union officials. The action involved national and international unions against freight handlers.
A small two-sparred yacht with sails set foundered outside the breakwater while sailing from Cleveland to Port Colborne. A son of Mr Pettit of Lockport New York and a boy named Bayliss were aboard and are believed drowned.
Washington May 30 The navy department selects the battleship Kearsarge to lead the European squadron at Kiel as flagship, replacing the Alabama which could not be prepared in time.
J M Woods, a Negro arrested at Yates Center for assault on a farmer's wife, was brought to Wichita and placed in jail to avert mob violence. Local authorities moved him for protection after the arrest.
President Roosevelt accepted the Cheyenne lodge of Eagles invitation to be initiated during his May 30 visit. Preparations for the event are under way as locals rally behind the historic ceremony in the Wyoming city.
The marine hospital and public health bureau has been notified that plague has broken out at Yokohama Japan and at Iquique Chile.
High waters continue across southwestern Iowa with Pacific Junction and Hamburg hit hard. Residents travel by boat as water surrounds the town and river bottoms flood thousands of acres, threatening millions in crop losses and forcing reliance on outside aid.
Wood Lake Minnesota May 30 Simon Erickson was killed by a westbound passenger train about three miles west of the village. He was traveling from Manley Falls and, exhausted, sat on the tracks to rest. His body was mangled with fragments scattered over a long stretch. The deceased, about forty, was a member of the M. W. A. and a bachelor.
In Ashland Wisconsin on May 30 setters and carriage riders from nine sawmills quit work and mills closed after workers demanded 50 cents more per day for setters and 25 cents for carriage riders. Owners met and refused the raise prompting the shutdown of all mills.
In Des Moines Iowa May 30 Ed Plunkett was convicted of assault to commit great bodily injury for killing itinerant horse trader Alex Euchre in a quarrel six weeks prior. Judge Given sentenced him to three months in jail in the penitentiary.
Douglas county is defendant in a damages suit after the local board of health ordered deputies to kill all dogs at large. Deputy sheriffs killed two bird dogs owned by W. H. Smith, a traveling salesman for Garr Scott Threshing Machine, who sues for the loss.
Edward Barrett aged twenty five from Sand Coolie Wisconsin was taken into custody after a mania over cereal and health foods. He refuses all food except grass, and was examined and committed to the asylum in La Crosse on May 30.
Eight year old Arania Max daughter of Peter Max was struck by a car at St Albans street and Selby avenue around 12:20 AM and killed instantly. The vehicle was driven by Horace H Irvine. Death caused by skull fracture. Coroner to investigate.
Peter Silbernagel won a district court verdict for $1000 against Dr Berthold over alleged malpractice from a broken leg setting. The suit sought $5000 and the trial occurred in Fergus Falls Minnesota on May 30.
Charles Hendershot, a local barber in Spring Valley Minnesota, was held up and robbed of 70 dollars while walking home from work. Two suspects have been arrested and fit the description given by the victim.
The steamer W. P. Palmer of the steel trust fleet is aground on Sand Island, the westernmost Apostle Island, about fifty miles from Duluth. The tug Inman has been dispatched to the scene.
The Chippewa River at Eau Claire, Wisconsin, has risen 12 feet 9 inches and is climbing about one inch per hour. The Daniel Shaw Lumber Company mill has shut down. Authorities expect another two to three feet of rise, with continuing flood conditions feared as the river swells through May.
Two men entered A G Kendall's secret service union office in the Temple block yesterday and threw red pepper in his eyes. They escaped with 500 dollars that was on the desk. Kendall is the manager of the union. The incident occurred in Kansas City on May 30.
May 30 report says President Louhet will travel to London between July 18 and 20 to resume the visit of King Edward and will stay three or four days. The announcement confirms plans for a diplomatic exchange and a short royal visit follow up.
A Concord North Carolina hardware merchant and Justice of the Peace testifies that Dean's Kidney Pills cured his backache and disordered kidneys. He bought a box at Gibson Drug Store, reports dark, sediment-filled secretions and irregular flow, but says his back pain vanished and health improved. A free trial offer via Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo NY. Sold by all druggists at 50 cents per box.
A brief quip from a Philadelphia Press item features a caller asking an office boy if the boss is out. The boy replies yes, noting the boss murmuring about cards and calling for another stack of blues, illustrating a terse workplace moment.
Mayor Low visits a state prison with a clergyman. In a cell a burglar is asked if he has hope for the future. He replies that by the time he is released he will be too old to break into any house. A wry exchange from the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
In a New York Times anecdote, banker George Rutledge Gibson recalls a country club breakfast exchange with two stock exchange members about mosquitoes. A tall man claimed immunity, while Gibson quipped that the insects were not hungry and only wanted half a portion.
A Cosmopolitan Magazine prediction envisions 1920s homes led by a trained chemist mistress who converts the kitchen into a Household Laboratory adjoining the dining room. The article argues kitchens will become science hubs, removing drudgery and turning food transformations into constant, well ventilated experiments.
A Galion Ohio physician reports long indigestion relief after using Grape-Nuts. He calls it a nutritious nerve food that aids digestion, blood enrichment, and brain work, recommending it to patients and noting Rosturo Co. Battle Creek Michigan supplied the name.
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