Quotations Too Dated And Witty From Emmons News
A compact miscellany from Emmons Co. includes satirical quips on women leadership arbitration gas trusts and public offices. It notes Pat Funston ambitions and Kipling reproofs while touching on whipping posts in Delaware and satirical digs at editors and writers.
Peck Promotes Grand Electrical Exhibit at Paris Fair
Commissioner Peck aims to showcase the largest display of electrical devices the world has seen at the Paris exposition, signaling a bold plan to attract attention and charm visitors with modern innovations.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Peck
Paris
Yale elects Hadley president in a liberal age
The report notes Professor Hadley’s election as Yale president signals progress for liberal and progressive currents while preserving conservatism’s core. It also remarks that his lay status breaks an unwritten clerical rule, yet the institution’s religious side remains unharmed. Separately, California contemplates sea lion raids to protect salmon fisheries, warning of the animals’ size and spawning-spoiling impact.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hadley
Yale
Admiral Kauts to Reach American Waters Soon
Dispatches say Admiral Kauts will arrive in San Francisco on June 24, returning to American waters. The hero figure on the California coast should reassure locals until General Funston returns. Sympathizers should not dwell on the English envoy’s reception amid Krueger urging Britons to respect the empire. Yale University elects AST Hadley as president, ending a months long vacancy with many names speculated for the post.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Admiral Kauts
American
San Francisco
California
General Funston
Paul Krueger
Groom's Wedding Cost Spares He Affords His Path
A fragmented line indicates a groom who married and paid $600 for his path, implying the week paid amount he could afford. The text is incomplete but centers on wedding costs and financial choice related to the nuptials.
Marconi Wireless Telegraphy Demonstrated Across English Channel
A detailed description accompanies an illustration of Kemp and Bradfield operating Marconi’s wireless system between Wimereux near Boulogne and South Foreland England. The setup spans 32 miles across the channel with masts over 150 feet high, using a coherer detector and a tape writer to relay Morse code signals without wires.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Messrs. Kemp and Bradfield
Wimereaux
Marconi
Boulogne
South Foreland
England
English Channel
Trap Door Spiders Show Intelligence In Clever Nests
A historical piece describes trap door spiders building hinged cork like or paper thin doors to conceal nests. Some create branch doors to retreat unseen. An anecdote recalls a garden spider using a wooden brace to stabilize its nest after a storm, suggesting planning and problem solving.
After the Storm the Spider Fixes Its Web
A concise moral note from Our Animal Friends describes how after a storm a spider repairs its damaged web. The narrative emphasizes resilience and adaptation as the spider mends the structure and the wood drops away, illustrating perseverance through adversity.
Surgeon Buys Noted Madstone From Europe
An American surgeon Mr. C F Turner of Snickersville purchased for over 500 dollars a madstone believed to cure all bites from mad dogs and poisonous reptiles. Brought from Europe about 136 years ago it is described as a smooth porous oval brown sandstone. A witness reports one bitten pair, one treated with the stone survived while the other died of hydrophobia.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
C. F. Turner
Snickersville
Europe
England
The Dogs of Constantinople
The dogs of Constantinople are a large, unowned, scavenger population kept as a public health necessity. They roam freely, guard their districts, and deter contagion by consuming garbage though they are described as mangy and hostile to people.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Constantinople
Bailiwick
Parley Faces Desertion Over Art in Tit-Bits Quip
In a witty Tit-Bits exchange, Parley declares devotion to art while Criticus mockingly suggests divorce, noting Parley’s beloved is said to have deserted him. The quip turns on romantic vows and artistic passion.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Parley
Criticus
Letter Claims Clara to Be Presented at Court
In Bits, a note records a message from Clara in London saying she is to be presented at court. Ellen expresses hope that the poor girl will be acquitted.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mabel
Clara
London
Ellen
An Abnormal Pair in a Cleveland Cartoon Exchange
The Cleveland Plain Dealer notes a cartoon exchange featuring Mr. Bullinger with exaggerated ears described as eerie and unnaturally large. The brief quip highlights the visual joke and reader amusement in a lighthearted urban humor item.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Bullinger
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Tompkins Faces Mocking Claim In Silly Exchange
In a terse exchange, a speaker accuses Tompkins of marrying a tettar and calls it a steady nag, while another counters with a joking remark about a norsk on Tompkins. The quip reflects a lighthearted nagging tone.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tompkins
Fireproofing Wood With Lime Plaster Coating
London tests cited by Pall Mall Gazette show lime and vegetable fiber plaster coated on wood blocks withstanding prolonged flame and furnace exposure. A three quarter inch coating resisted heat, leaving wood at only seventy degrees after removal. tungstate of soda cited as the sole costly ingredient in the mix.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
London
Rous
Pall Mall Gazette
Truthful Boy Wins Job By Honest Stance
An English newspaper recounts a tale where a boy refuses to pretend he loves work. The manager seeks diligent workers and tests honesty. The boy asserts his genuine stance and lands the job, illustrating that truth can serve personal interests.
Pocket-Handkerchief in the World Owned by Queen Margaret
The lace handkerchief, claimed to be owned by Queen Margaret of Italy, is valued at about $30,000. Weighing almost nothing, it rests on the hand and is kept in a gold box smaller than an inch in diameter and took twenty years to weave.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lodge
Marconi
M. Branly
Sig. Marconi
Margaret
Italy
Kept Moving Aguipaldo May Have Four atop to Do It
Aguipaldo leads with a bold push as the favorite attempts to secure a decisive win. The field features tight competition and strategic driving moves aimed at edging ahead in the final stretch.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Aguipaldo
Hazard of the Coin Drives Kingsley to Maisie
Val Kingsley battles nerves and superstition as he decides his fate by a coin toss. He frets over Maisie, defeats self doubt with a heads or tails gamble, and heads to Maisie’s mansion to face the consequences of his flirtation. Maisie greets him with composed dignity, masking her own interest.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Val Kingsley
Maisie
Val
Lieut. Kingsley
Maisie’s Revenge and Val’s Near Despair
Val pleads with Maisie after a tense parting and contemplates a swift deadly act. A note from Maisie unsettles him further, sparking reflection on cowardice and the power of money. His nerves fray as a revolver rests nearby and a fateful decision feels close.
Popularity of Short Skirts in This Season
The short skirt rises as a fashionable article of apparel this season, rivaling the pique frock and net dancing gown. Women across regions adopt shoe-top skirts for comfort and practicality, pairing them with stout laced boots for active pursuits, while stores report booming orders for varied fabrics and styles.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Larchmont
Narragansett
Long Island
Reverses of Life and a Window Screen Promise
A witty remark from an Indianapolis Journal line about changing vows and a man’s refusal to install window screens, contrasting devotion with domestic practicality in a succinct, era tone. The quip highlights shifting priorities within a year’s span.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indianapolis Journal
United States a Power for Good
A historian notes our advent as a colonizing power and predicts vast influence over Europe. He cites inevitable outcomes, comparing them to the relief from dyspepsia with Hostonetter's Stomach Bitters, claiming it cures indigestion and constipation while toning the system.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
United States
Wries
Man Sues Farm Hand Over Damages Claim
A Colorado man sues a farm hand alleging damages in four counts. He cites running a team of horses, breaking a harrow, teaching his eight year old son to chew tobacco, and causing his wife nervous prostration due to a bill her herself owed.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Colorado
Would Be Welcomed Reader Note on Kaiser's Visit
A remark from Washington Tar suggests a proposed visit by the Kaiser to discuss imperial treatment and a king’s rights with the empress dowager. The quote reflects speculative diplomacy and Western interest in Qing-era succession and governance.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Old Bill Gadgett and the speakin' spring work ethic
An old Indianapolis Journal comment quotes the town elder claiming Old Bill Gadgett acted contrary to the season, pretending to like work as spring arrives. The remark captures a rural edge and humor about labor and weather in a historic local voice.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bill Gadgett
Indianapolis Journal
Allen's Foot-Ease advertised cure for sore feet
An advertisement promotes Allen's Foot-Ease powder to ease swollen burning and sweating feet and bunions. It advises shaking into shoes, costs 25 cents, and offers a sample by writing Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy New York.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Allen
Fred
Olmsted
LeRoy
N. Y
In the Same General Direction Rally Cry Echoes in Battle
An American soldier urges surrender if opponents refuse to stand and fight. The Bil- Apino tires as he runs, with Chicago Tribune reporting the exchange amid ongoing combat.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bil- Apino
Chicago -Tribune
Nothing to Brag Of Syracuse War Quote
A Syracuse Herald item presents a brief exchange between two soldiers. The first says he was behind the guns, the second counters he was at the front. The snippet captures a wartime brag line reflecting humility and shared frontline experience.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Syracuse Herald
J H Rindlaub Specialist Eye Ear Nose and Throat
Vintage ad like clutter lists J H Rindlaub a forge North Dakota specialist for eye ear nose and throat care. Includes quotes and moral sayings with medical quackish references and medicine pitches amid dense stray phrases and garbled OCR.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. H. “Rindlaub
Forge, N. D
No Disgrace. of His Riches and Sage on Wealth
In a candid office scene Mr Sage argues wealth should be used to bless the world but not given away all at once. He cites Andrew Carnegie and stresses preserving capital to protect investors and ongoing enterprises like Manhattan railroads, while noting his charitable giving will continue.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Russell
Sage
Andrew Carnegie
Manhattan
Death Gulch Animals Perish Risk in Yellowstone Ravine
In Yellowstone National Park a ravine known as Death Gulch earns its name from frequent animal deaths caused by high carbonic acid in the air. The area, like Naples Dog Grotto, lies in a volcanic region with underground gas emissions and ground fissures.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Yellowstone National Park
Death Gulch
Naples
Soo Yi Ee Plerrions Sions Park
Also Mentioned on This Page
Emmons Co. Record
D. R. Streeter
Linton, Emmons Co
Sic
Aguinaldo
Cincinnati
Andre
Rudyard Kipiing
Delaware
Philippines
Funston
Beatty Balestier
Kipling
State Board of Fish and Game Commissioners of
Quebec
Yale College
Ast
Sader
Edu
Hertz
China
Power of the Madstone
Walker
Maisiie
Escalve
Perhapps
Chestereld
J. L. Northcott
Windsor
Fielding
Thomas a’Kempis
Winslow
Syria
Russell Sage
Hood
oAmerica
Department Netaterts Fee
Canada
Carter
Hicmew
Washington, D. Ll
Uiek
Beane Voie Corps
Ciaires Epsen