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Emmons County Record in Linton, North Dakota

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Newspaper

Emmons County Record

Location

Linton, North Dakota, United States of America

Date

Jul 13, 1900

Page

2

Linton Emmons Co. Prose Fragments and Timely Quips

A miscellaneous clipping from Gwwmons Co. Record includes brief maxims on wealth prudence and patience, a proverb on mulberry silk, thoughts on expression differences between genders, reflections on moral character, and a note that John W. Gates sailed for Europe amid political expectations for McKinley and Bryan in upcoming conventions.

Notable Quotes and Quips on Leaders and Storms

A New Jersey cyclist struck by lightning is cited as proof that mosquito notoriety has faded. King Leopold of Belgium is praised for his just bequest of lands to his people. The marquis of Salisbury sparks debate with remarks on an Irish disloyal government and a united continental wave. The question remains if Salisbury is a prophet, dyspeptic, or simply talking.

New Jersey Leopold Belgium Marquis of Salisbury Ireland Lord Salisbury

Mechanism Behind Maple Sap Flow Explained

At a Biological Society of Washington meeting, Mr. W A Orton described experiments on maple sap flow in early spring. He concluded that increasing heat expands gases in wood cells, mechanically expelling sap, challenging the idea that sap flow is solely due to physiological plant action.

Biological Society of Washington W. A. Orton

New York City Branded Poorly Governed by Public Servants

The New York paper notes residents spend much effort defending themselves against city officials. A prominent speaker at a recent meeting called the city one of the wealthiest yet worst governed outside Constantinople and warned that many in business have faced ruin for exposing city improprieties. The piece warns that schemes to seize public funds for private gain threaten American communities.

New York Constantinople

The waxing Severn and waning Thames in physiography

The text explains a river struggle for existence in physiography. It cites England's Thames and Severn as examples where the Severn has eroded back into the Cotswold hills, diverting headwaters from the Thames. The result is described as the waxing Severn and waning Thames.

England Thames Severn Cotswold

Treasury officials weigh half cent coin proposal amid prosperity

The treasury notes that a billion existing cents and a four million monthly coinage keeps small change abundant. The debate on adding a half cent coin contrasts American currency habits with Darwin era views. Asa Gray’s attempt to persuade Darwin about currency systems is referenced as illustration.

United States Treasury Asa Gray Darwin

The hammering carver and the rise of machines

A scientist notes that mechanical power liberates crafts and anticipates a future where automobiles complement horses until typewriters replace pianos. He argues that in their proper field animals remain indispensable and never go out of fashion.

Paris trials with electric fore-wagons for horse drawn carriages

Experiments in Paris test electric fore-wagons that can be hitched to standard horse carriages. The fore-wagon places all control mechanisms under the driver’s hand, resembling an automobile. The attachment allows removal of the fore-wagon and substitution of horses without difficulty.

Paris

A Delicate Comedy of Marriage and Wives

The excerpt from Tit-Bits presents George and Mabel five years after their wedding. He longs for a perfect home while she negotiates kindness and fair terms, hinting at modern bargaining in domestic life and the tension between romance and practicality.

George Mabel

Public dinner lure puzzles Mrs Naggerton Ally Sloper

Mrs Naggerton questions why men attend public dinners as Ally Sloper notes only young men go. Mr Naggerton, absentminded, begins to say there are no women at such dinners but stops mid sentence. This quirky exchange reflects social humor in the Ally Sloper strip.

Mr. Naggerton Ally Sloper

Artman Crayon Portraits Spark Debate On Talent

A local dispute centers on portraits by Artman and Crayon. Critics call the works abominable while supporters defend them as crafts by a crafty broker Speckman praises as an artist in his line, though some question his authenticity.

Speckman Artman

Satire Teases Speech as Real Art, Statesman Responds

A statesman asks if his speech was mocked and asserts his unwavering self esteem. The reply admits annoyance but argues true art is proven when someone burlesques or satirizes it.

Statesman

A Woman's Question in the Cleveland Paper

A brief quip cited from the Cleveland Plain Dealer notes a man remarking that the British have recovered a battery of guns. His wife asks what it was covered with the first time, in a light domestic moment reflecting on wartime imagery.

Cleveland Plain Dealer

Piano lesson misfires with pedal habit

Miss Wilson asks why the piano sounds loud then soft during her playing. He explains she is learning to ride a bike and uses both pedals out of habit.

Stretching the Bijou Villa for Rent

Ally Sloper describes a newly acquired bijou villa likened to a dollhouse and plans to let out its many small rooms. A friend approves the idea, noting residents will want the extra space.

Sloper

Untold Suffering Quote From Chicago Times Herald

The Chicago Times Herald quotes a child and father reacting to a mother who felt ten minutes of pain after hitting her thumb with a hammer. The humorous exchange notes the rarity of such disclosure and treats it as an oddity in family storytelling.

Harry Chicago Times-Herald

Consolation Comfort in Loss of Canary

A niece consoles her grieving aunt over a pet canary’s death. She offers the idea that the bird is better off where it is, presenting a gentle, empathetic moment in a household dialogue. The exchange reflects consolation within a family setting.

Jennie Canary

Benny Benedict Detects a Silent Baby in Distress

Mr Benny Benedict reads his paper when he notices the baby is not crying. His wife Mrs Benedict leaps up in alarm, asking what is wrong as he fears something grievously wrong with the child. Ally Sloper signals a comic tone through the exchange.

Benny Benedict Mrs. Benedict Benny Ally Sloper

Willing to Show Em Bravery and Humble Brag Go Wrong

An honest young man praised for escaping peril by an act of heroism is complimented by a lady who wishes to see the feat. He blushes and stammers, then, pointing to his feet, says, Here they be mum, ending the moment with a comic misfire.

Sle ve Mystery Shaped by Yard Activity

A family exchange in Chicago News notes a father asking about the mother and Johnny confirming she is in the back yard whittling to sharpen a lead pencil, highlighting a simple domestic moment.

Johnny Chicago News

Mere Matter of Figures at Cheap Restaurant

He entered a cheap restaurant and asked the waiter about choosing a 25 cent or 60 cent dinner. The waiter claims there is a real difference, and the man asks what it is. The reply is simply that the price is 25 cents.

At the Wrong Door in Charity Plea Ends in Slam

A door slam ranges through the street as a charity solicitor pleads for aid. A resident answers with a sharp claim his own children are among the hungry outside, ending the encounter with a slammed doorway.

Moonshine Memoir Echoes Trial Vigilant Mistruths

An odd clipped note from Ktate News mocks warnings about false news and age limits, while slang and moonshine chatter underscore a wary public mood. The brief exchange hints at a debate over information, legitimacy, and youthful voices in a tense local scene.

Distorted by Glamour Joke Quips About Honeymoon

A Detroit Free Press quotation satirizes marriage, noting the honeymoon as a time when a man jokes about his wife not having dinner ready on time. The quip reflects mid-century views on domestic life and humor.

Detroit Free Press

Recognised His Opportunity at a Wedding Moment

Ada expresses hope to be invited to a future wedding. Jack answers boldly that he will invite her first if he marries, and that if she does not accept there will be no wedding.

Ada Jack

A Dog's Life. Brown-Yes Describes Jones’s idle marriage

Brown notes Jones married a rich wife but leads a dog's life with no real work. Smith asks for confirmation and Brown agrees that he just lies around the house and goes out for an airing between meals.

Brown Jones Smith

An Impossible Husband Prize Fighter Debate

A Philadelphia North American excerpt argues against a woman marrying a prize fighter, noting his brutality and lack of chance for conversation. The dialogue contrasts public fascination with domestic constraint in a 19th century social view.

Philadelphia

He Never Sleeps Insomniac Patient Narration

In a dialogue, Fuddle learns from a doctor that a man is a patient being treated for insomnia, highlighting the patient who never sleeps and the doctor’s casual observations about his wakefulness.

Fuddle Stocks

Got Even with Them

Novelists face harsh critics who question a book’s merit. A witty friend suggests revenge through a sharper read. The critics must confront the author’s latest work after dismissive chatter.

Unclear Cash Depositors Report Cited by Detroit Free Press

Fragmented OCR quotes describe two boys and financial deposits. one says his father hides money for his mother in a coffee pot while another claims his father places money in a jackpot. source text appears from Detroit Free Press and reflects incomplete dialogue.

Detroit

Plain Philadelphia stenographer inherits $50,000

A Cleveland Plain Dealer quip notes a Philadelphia stenographer who has just inherited $50,000 is very plain and cannot handle all that money.

Philadelphia Cleveland Plain Dealer

Purely Ornamental Visitor Riff on Smoking Room Humor

A brief, witty exchange features a visitor remarking on a smoking room's beauty and Mr Henpeck lamenting permission to smoke. The gag hinges on social norms about smoking etiquette and comic tension between desire and regulation.

Henpeck

The Beloved Color

A fragmentary prose item notes a quirky exchange about a frog in the throat and a grin. Names Larry and Denny appear in a playful dialect suggesting a light moment in a local piece. The text reads as informal humor with regional speech patterns.

Larry Denny

Bride Frames Farewell Pictures From Her Trousseau

A Chicago bride distributed farewell photographs to relatives and friends before moving out of town. Each picture was mounted under glass in passe partout style using materials from her wedding wardrobe. Mothers received white satin mounts with lace, a sister with orange blossoms, a maid of honor with bride roses, and others with fabric remnants from gowns. Each backing noted the wedding date and name, creating heirloom keepsakes. The article predicts others will adopt this graceful gift trend.

Chicago Troussseau Chicago Chronicle

A Slight Mistake The BrideS Father Was a Teller

In a New Orleans Times-Democrat tale a veteran reporter recalls mislabeling a bridegroom s father as a banker. A younger staffer misinterprets teller as banker while a fortune teller adds humor to the anecdote about press language and mistaken identity.

Denver Centre City New Orleans Times-Democrat

Whiskers Across Times in Classic Texts

Excerpts from Robinson Crusoe, Wilson’s History, and Hunter’s Travels discuss facial hair. Crusoe notes his short beard with Mohammedan whiskers, while Turner's hall in the early church discarded periwigs and wore upper lip whiskers. Hunters Travels mentions Hungarians shaving except for large upper lip whiskers.

Robinson Crusoe Sallee England Wilson Joseph Jacob Turner's Hall Philpot Lane

A Flying Postal Service on Pacific Islands

A storm wrecked a vessel on a Pacific island belonging to England and word had to reach Auckland. Carrier pigeons were used to deliver messages and return replies. The success led to purchasing a large flock of trained pigeons. Each bird can carry four messages. sending four messages costs one shilling or sixpence. The pigeons are private property.

Pacific Ocean England Auckland

An Exception to the Rule on Warmth in Letters

A quotation from the Indianapolis Journal contrasts warm personal letters with a breach of promise suit. It recalls a man who once infused warmth into correspondence, only to face legal action.

Indianapolis Journal

A Dry Sermon on Temperance Temper

A Dry Sermon notes public mood on temperance yesterday as the Bulletin quotes a question about a temperance man and answers with the word Dry, reflecting local attitudes and sharp wit in a compact item.

Temperance Man Eric Bulletin

Odd Occurrences End Lives In Curious Ways

A month of strange deaths and mishaps across cities including Steubenville Philadelphia Geneva Marietta Manhattan and Newark. Stories range from a farmer’s teeth loss to a needle puncture heart shock to long mournful weeping causing blindness and a sleep lasting 166 hours ending fatally.

Madison Burke Steubenville Pittsburg Matilda Quitman Manhattan Marietta Frederick Kestermeir Tilly Mahon Freda Poingnee Belleville Ill Bridgeport Conn Scranton William Atkins Atkins W. H. Bean Chicago Browning Ind W. A. Ellis St. Louis Bud Ferguson Philadelphia Caroline M. Raw John Dorsey Hagerstown Charles Boyd West Middleton John Patrie Euclid N. Y Pitts Warwick N. J Irwin Bullock Newark Little Katie Knepper

Sweet old woman alters will after poem found

A dignified elderly lady visits Attorney Henry N. Spaan to amend a will she drafted a decade ago. In the faded document, a Tennyson verse is noted, prompting Spaan to bow in reverence and halve his fee after reading the prophetic lines.

Henry N. Spaan Trust Building Tennyson Mr. Spaan Sentinel Indianapolis Sentinel

Mountain Pass Yawns As Traveler Describes The Gap

A traveler narrates his experience about a mountain pass with the line right ahead of us. A younger woman interrupts asking how a mountain can yawn. The exchange leads to a brief moment of quiet and recollection, with the setting implied near Cumberland Gap.

Mountain Cumberland Gap Chicago Tribune

Miss Wilson Plays Piano Learns Bike Pedals Palmed

A playful dialogue notes Miss Wilson learning to ride a bike. She uses both pedals in a forceful habit while the piano sounds vary from loud to soft as she plays. The exchange highlights a humorous scene with a lighthearted schoolyard tone.

Sail era returns in foreign trade predicts tall masts rise

Savannah News cites Philadelphia maritime exchange predicting a shift from tramp steamers to square rigged ships in oriental trade within years. Standard Oil reportedly acquires sailing vessels for east trade as coal costs surge, raising coal-to-cargo tradeoffs and prompting British shippers to convert China Japan routes to oil burners.

The Savannah News Philadelphia Maritime Exchange Algiers Port Said Colombo Orient Philadelphia New York China Japan

Poets and Moonshine Rage in Kentucky Woes

A satirical verse from the Texas Democrat mocks Kentucky life, detailing a reckless mountaineer’s violent deeds, moonshine peril, and a fatal election day ambush. The mockepic tone shelves sentiment for hard-edged caricature of crime and vice in the hills.

Behind the Barber’s Screen in a Busy Downtown Shop

The scene unfolds in a downtown barbershop basement where two assistants watch the street while a boss barber attends a client. A hidden visitor, a manicured woman, and a niece at a partition reveal a thriving Saturday manicure trade, with casual remarks about business and family.

New York Sun

Veil Veils Offer Custom Velvet Spot Patterns

The New York Sun notes velvet spotted veils evolve with velvet spots as the fashion. Readers can now select plain net, size and number of spots, and have them sewn on by request with spots placed as chosen. A woman in front of a mirror adjusts spots while a clerk sews markers, illustrating vanity and fashion innovation.

New York Sun

West Point marks 100 years since opening as army school

West Point Military Academy, founded May 1, 1800, began with two cadets Joseph G. Swift and Simon M. Levy. The third cadet Walter Keith Armistead joined, becoming the first Virginian and graduating in 1804. Armistead later became a noted artillery officer. sources claim he and Swift never surrendered to the English.

West Point Military Academy United States Joseph G. Swift Massachusetts Simon M. Levy South Carolina West Point Walter Keith Armistead Upperville Swift

The Reason Weary Critic and Innocent Young Person

A witty New York exchange about reading scarce time and secret bans. The critic questions a reader’s choice while the youngster defends it as a book read on the sly.

New York

Sleep Changes the Verdict Sealed Then Disagreed After Sleep

A jury sealed a verdict and slept on it, then returned with a disagreement, illustrating sleep's effect on the mind. The ad promotes Hostetter's Stomach Bitters for insomnia and stomach disorders, claiming it improves digestion and yields sound sleep. Stage actors are humorously noted for earning a living despite not aiming to be funny.

Hood's Sarsaparilla Promises Cure for Morning Tiredness

An old advertisement claims morning tiredness signals poor blood and can be cured by Hood's Sarsaparilla. It touts increased vigor and summer wellness, featuring a testimonial from Mara R. Merarrt of Dowagiac, Michigan, and asserts Hood's Sarsaparilla as the best medicine money can buy.

Hood Mara R. Merarrt Dowagiac Mich

Poetry Critique Sparks Family Banter in Philadelphia Press

In a playful Philadelphia Press moment a father dismisses modern poetry as distressing, while mother recalls a recent verse by a known author. Little Tommy chimes in with a lighthearted nickname for the poet, “Old Uncle Ned.”

Papa Tommy Ned Philadelphia Press

Northwestern inventors win patents last week list

A Patents issued list credits Northwestern inventors Theodore Burgett Winthrop MN scraper George W Hardin Chokie MN hitching device Eugene Jacquem in Minneapolis grain door Henry Lenling Gem 8 D five horse draft equalizer James D B Martin Braddock ND vending machine Randolph J Moulton Minneapolis grain distributor John Pearson Minneapolis safety synchronizing device Waldemar Heen Devils Lake ND beater of mixer Merwin ee Johnson Patent Attorneys 011 012 Press Bldg St Paul

Northwestern Theodore Burgett Winthrop Minn George W. Hardin Chokie Eugene Jacquemin Minneapolis Henry Lenling Gem James DB. Martin Braddock N. D Randolph J. Moulton John Pearson

Signs and Cues Preview a Proposal in Puck’s View

A witty lineset from Puck notes that proposals arrive not with words but with signs and the awkward gestures of stammering and glances. The exchange, between Daughter and Mother, hints at courtship without explicit declarations.

Harold Jane Puck

Allen's Foot Ease powder ad promises quick shoe comfort

Do Your Feet Ache and Barnt Shake into your shoes Allen's Foot Ease, a powder for the feet. It makes tight or New Shoes feel Easy. Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and Sweating Feet. At all Druggists and Shoe Stores, 25c. Sample sent FREE Address Allen 8.Olmsted, LeRoy, N.

Allen Olmsted LeRoy

Antiquity of Familiar Terms Revealed in Old Note

A writer highlights how phrases like What the dickens appear in Shakespeare, while a 1570 note to The Popish Kingdom uses regular shindy to describe Maundy Thursday rites. The Athenæum quotes the note noting midnight church services, lights out, and a chaotic shindy with men beaten and wounded reported by the London Globe.

The Athenaeum London Globe

Hall's Catarrh Cure and odd quiz folly at lessons

A fragment mentions Hall's Catarrh Cure priced at 750 and a humorous exchange where a child explains the earth's axis as an imaginary line, followed by a bonnet joke. It notes a butcher losing flesh in hot weather and a note about the German emperor painted by Prof Hubert Hexomer, plus a collector's duty to uncover dishonesty.

Also Mentioned on This Page

Gwwmons Co. Record D. R. Streeter Linton, Emmons Co John W. Gates Europe Canada McKinley Bryan Kansas City Wier Grielf Wart Darling Machel Ktate News Bride Tars Kentucky Abraham Martin Tex Hall Germany Prof Hubert Hexomer St. Jacobs Oil Piso Ebbapa Brera
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