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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jul 07, 1899
Page
2
A column of quips and aphorisms appears on the Emmons Co. record page. It features pithy lines about cheating, living, love, and fate, plus a noted coroner inquiry in Wausau and a joking line about a deceased wife arousing suspicion. Named names are scarce. the tone is editorial and lightly satirical.
A 21000 strong British petition urges the queen and ministers to intervene in the Boer republics affairs. The movers, disappointed by Cape Colony elections, aim to overturn Dutch or Boer supremacy and note a close tie between Cape Colony and Transvaal politics.
Washington whispers say President McKinley may summon Congress for an extraordinary session in October. White House silent, but republicans and democrats alike see value in a shorter pre election session to avoid partisan influence during the 1900 campaign.
A surveyor bicycle attachment records road grade using a continuous tape and magnetic north needle. A pendulum marks grade, offset by road irregularities, aiming for about one percent error with potential for better accuracy with pricier gear.
The plan for international trade courts receives broad approval from foreign representatives and national officials. A measure could extend benefits to travel and commerce, aligning interests with large buyers and concerns. Recent tech feats include a rapid telegraphy system reaching 120,000 words per hour in the Greely Office, claimed capable of 4,000 words per minute, developed by Col. George Crebore of Dartmouth College.
Laredo endured violent anti vaccination clashes as a doctor from the East attempted to inoculate residents. State Rangers and U S cavalry restored order after gunfire. a mob leader was killed and a Rangers captain died. Acting Assistant Surgeon Hamilton reported many remained unvaccinated fueling the epidemic.
A Milwaukee family tale highlights domestic etiquette as social standing, noting a slatternly servant or unkempt child leaves a poor impression. A growing boy refuses obedience, boasting exemption from robbers, while a nursery quarrel over rubber footwear becomes a humorous political clincher.
A young doctor alerts the state health board to a smallpox outbreak across the river in Mexico and orders quarantines. Rioters attack the pest house and detention hospital, shots are fired, and U.S. troops are called in as violence escalates before vaccination work resumes amid chaos.
A fisherman’s catch near Carlingford Lough yielded a record of missing Irish chancery case documents. Though damaged, the papers could be read and appear to concern legal filings and court actions.
The Empress of Germany is noted for her cooking skill and sewing. She has learned cutting and fitting eighty as to supervise the alteration of her own dresses.
Ethel asks if Charlie has costly tastes and he replies that he is fond of her, implying affection despite high standards. The brief dialogue centers on mutual warmth and attraction between two characters.
A survivor recalls surviving fifty four hours in the Atlantic after a schooner capsized near North Carolina. He and Harry Cross clung to a hatch while cocoanuts and fruit floated, with Cross eventually letting go. A rescue by a steamship saved the narrator, who described the ordeal of thirst, waves, and being hauled aboard.
A bachelor quips that marriage may cure lovesickness but warns the remedy is worse than the disease, suggesting a cynical view of wedded bliss.
A storm nearly overwhelmed the Cayman Islands and warnings urge vigilance for health. The text promotes Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as a remedy for digestion and bowel regularity, claiming disease is stealthy and health risks persist despite warmth and security. It suggests sweets harm the digestive system.
A promotional copy asserts impure blood lowers work ease and presents Hood's Sarsaparilla as the cure to purify blood and restore health so that hard labor feels easy. The ad urges readers to try the tonic for improved vitality and endurance.
An Englishman asks Pat about measuring a yard, Pat replies that it depends on whose yard you enter. The piece reflects humorous quips from Answers and New York Weekly. The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad now offers ten days stopovers at Washington, Baltimore, and Philadelphia upon ticket arrival, following prior requests from local business groups.
A dialogue fragment shows an Artist apologizing for absence of seven old millions, with a Servant asking what he said. The Artist quotes a line on Liberty and crimes committed in its name, attributed to Puck style allegory.
A nostalgic advertisement promotes Allen's Foot-Ease powder as the cure for swollen smarting burning sweating feet coins and bunions. It claims relief by shaking the powder into shoes and offers a 25 cent price with a free sample by sending a request to Allen S. Olmsted LeRoy NY.
A Boston Courier excerpt uses dialect to declare that domestic policy should be the focus and that populist chatter has long favored simpler approaches. The speaker, Remus, dismisses prior claims and prefers steadier, ordinary governance over flashy reform.
A brief note references J H Rindlaub a specialist in eye ear nose and throat services in Fargo North Dakota. It includes a quotation on friendship and personal independence, though the text is fragmented with unclear context.
A historical snippet lists exceptionally deep wells in Europe and the United States. It cites Pagny France 2000 feet La Chappelle Paris 2960 feet Grenelle Paris 1798 Neusalwerk near Minden 2288 Kissingen Bavaria 1787 Sperenberg near Berlin 4190 Best Hungary 3182 and in the U S St Louis 8843 feet Louisville 2088 Columbus 70 2775 Charleston South Carolina 1250.
The well known syrup promises gentle prompt relief from habitual constipation by cleansing the liver and bowels without irritation. It emphasizes perfect freedom from objectionable qualities, aiding overall digestive health and wellness.
Wealthy financier Hetty Green known as the witch of Wall Street is quoted saying it is necessary no success unless one learns to mind their own business. The remark reflects her sharp stance on independence and self reliance in financial matters.
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