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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jan 30, 1903
Page
2
A scatter of satirical and editorial quips touches on diplomacy, economics, fashion, and public affairs. Items mock policy shifts, crop woes in Florida, a French minister, insurance income, and social trends. The piece lampoons mandarins, royalty, divorce chatter, and even a lynching concern, all in a breezy, humorous tone.
John L. Sullivan says Boston is a bum town though born there. Methodists celebrate a $20,000,000 bank offering, while observing Venezuela to infer risks for creditors. The remarks mix local grievance, finance, and international finance implications.
A Washington post office clerk chose to give up her husband rather than risk losing her job. The note claims husbands can be obtained without a civil service exam, reflecting a sensational claim about job security and social norms of the era.
The Charleston News and Courier blasts the Boston Journal for lowering its price to one cent, calling the move ill advised and unkind to readers and the newspaper market.
An Indian named Bear Tracks has been elected a member of the South Dakota legislature. Other statesmen belonging to that body will do well to make him leave his tomahawk at the door.
General Alexis Nord, Haiti’s minister of war, has arrived in Port au Prince leading the army. The force, described with a touch of humor as having a sore toe, rode in on a single mule with a distant gaze but quick strides.
Frank Daniels writes to a western paper that he has found that in musical comedy the tendency is to eliminate fights. He predicts protests from non theatergoing ladies of the W. C. T. U. when the issue is raised.
Mark Twain reportedly stated there are just 34 jokes in existence with all others being variations. He is credited with several of these original jokes and could select the true 34 if challenged.
Mr Hobson of England critiques philanthropists by likening them to robber barons of ancient times. The remark reframes the donors as either truly good men or mere powerful figures, presenting an ironic upgrade on the classic Hobson's choice.
A Baltimore man seeks to beat his wife to a divorce filing at home after she travels to South Dakota for the case. Supporters of the wife vow to back her pursuit with fundraising and public backing.
Sir Thomas Lipton declares a million dollar spend to win the America’s Cup. He hints persistent effort may make cup synonymous with the bold in sport while noting matrimony’s long road educates men.
In a New York newspaper item two horses allegedly ate green flowers on a woman’s plate during an eatery scene. The humor is questioned as the lady’s amusement remains doubtful and the moment draws amused chatter.
A capital report notes treasury steps to prevent importation of girls for immoral purposes. The piece lists various congressional actions including a Tilden statue request, a proposed elastic currency bill, Alaska land entry concerns, and Missouri Democrats backing Champ Clark for minority leader. Also mentions post office receipts up 14 percent, Virginia franchise cases in US Supreme Court, and rural routes denied on toll roads.
Fire in Boston destroys Elmer Chickering studio causing 60000 loss while Clark Bros. Mercantile Co. in Lebanon Missouri burns for 50000. Hamilton Ontario Stanley Mills store losses hit 60000. Boston bout ends in a draw for Tommy Foltz and Austin Rice after twelve rounds. St Louis home fire endangers 100 orphans but all rescued. Camden New Jersey A Lunn & Co factory burns with 130000 loss shared by several firms. Cairo Illinois Halliday Box Co. warehouse burned. lumber lost. New York Florine Henry perishes in near total family home blaze. Cleveland Brown Bros. store damages 100000. Nathan & Skall store sustains 50000. Niles Michigan Charles Buchner dies from fox bite. nurse Gilbert Cryser dies. another nurse ill. Batavia New York sleigh-train crash kills John and injures Lemuel and Mrs Mott and two others. New York hall fire damages tapestries and paintings worth 10000. Harper's Station Wyoming two Union Pacific freight trains collide. Freman Scantill dies, H S Weick Brakeman dies, J D Riner injured. locomotives and cars damaged.
King Alfonso to visit Lisbon after trip to Portugal. Capt W E Gleason of the Sixth Infantry dies at Fort Leavenworth of pneumonia. Judge Lucien Bells Otis dies in Chicago at 83 after 47 years there. Andrew Carnegie donates 25000 for Everett Washington public library with 2500 annual maintenance by the city. Maj R N Roberts of Wisconsin Veterans' Home dies at 62. he led multiple Northern Wisconsin enterprises. Rev William J Gold, head of Western Theological Seminary, dies in Chicago after two months, age 56, a leading Episcopal theology teacher.
Naval authorities at Kiel prepare a test of Signor Pinos hydro scope claiming eyes can penetrate deep seas over a vast radius. Reports confirm Transvaal faces an $80,000,000 war tax. Colonial Secretary Chamberlain and Rand magnates reach agreement on funding. China seeks gold basis for foreign customs duties in indemnity compensation. Norwegian fisheries stall due to seals from the White Sea. Venezuela blockade talks await Bowen’s disclosure of Castro proposals. if inadequate, blockade continues.
News items recount a murder by a stepson in Franklin County Illinois, a nine year old son killing his mother and dying by suicide in Carbondale, staged crime notes from Worcester and Hastings, a Chicago embezzler sought by a sheriff, and a bandit identified after a deputy marshal’s death. The mix includes Italian faction violence, sensational Carbondale revelations, and unsettled court details from Spiro and Lexington.
Reports note the passing of pioneer miner Thomas S. Wells in Leadville and financier Gen Samuel Thomas in New York. Idaho bets on W B Heyburn for Senate, while public figures like Edward A. McLean face pneumonia. Oak imports claim gas plans for Long Island City and Morse’s diary hints telegraphic dreams.
In Manila January 19 during Maj. Edwin F. Glenn trial a former prisoner recounts an American officer roasted on sticks by insurgents in Samar in 1900 and left for hogs. Other witnesses discuss Balangiga Candara and Catubig massacres and Gen. Smith orders.
In Albay province on a recent Wednesday, Constabulary Inspector Fletcher faced thirty bolomen. He killed five attackers, was wounded, then organized a pursuit that killed six more. A native murderer of five American soldiers at Binangonan cemetery on Decoration Day last year has been sentenced to death.
Lulea Sweden January 19 famine relief accuses rich North Swedish sawmill firms of coercion by branding starving peasants as lazy beggars for refusing to haul logs for 212 cents per hour. Relief authorities stigmatize actions as brutal and seek government intervention to unblock relief measures.
Washington January 19 President Roosevelt was assured by Senators Aldrich Lodge and Spooner that the Cuban reciprocity treaty would be ratified by the senate. The amendments by the foreign relations committee were satisfactory to nearly all Republican senators, with opposition now limited to the Democratic side.
Washington January 19 The State Department has received from United States Minister Souler at Havana a report on progress with the reciprocity treaty with the United States The minister's report based on Cuban assurances is favorable to early ratification by the Cuban senate Two Children Killed in Valparaiso Indiana January 19 Emma and John Cliska ages ten and twelve were struck by a fast Lake Shore train and killed instantly A man was struck and killed by the same train moments later
Kansas City January 19 The sixth annual convention adjourned yesterday afternoon to meet next year at Portland Oregon after electing all the old officers for the ensuing year.
New York January 19. Herminia Josephson cashier and John Cottain engineer died in a blaze that destroyed the Aaron and Withheimer dry goods store last night. Loss estimated at 80000 dollars.
London January 16 dispatch reports medical advisers urge transferring the czar’s court to Crimea for health reasons. No specific ailment listed, but his weak chest raises risk of pulmonary trouble.
London reports the death of artist Henry Tanworth Wells. Hawaii's Independent Home Rule party pushes a federal leper settlement memorial. Nichol Chemical in Queens burns, $500,000 damage. Pekin dispatch says the dowager empress to resign for reform. Boer generals plan a February Europe tour and trip to the United States. Ex-Supreme Court Justice William Rumsey dies at his New York home, born 1841. Rome notes the theft of Lucia Della Robbia’s Descent from the Cross from San Severo Church, Florence, valued at $100,000.
St Paul and other cities report Wheat prices by grade ranging from No 1 Northern at 75 1 2 to No 3 70 cents with several regional values. Barley oats rye and flax also listed with bid ranges. Cattle hogs and sheep prices shown for Chicago Sioux City and South St Paul markets with steer cow and lamb classifications and bid ranges.
Four kegs of powder blew up in a Windber boarding house injuring six men. John Chupa Stacco Chupa Meek Soutemba Frank Fresak John Modes and M Frederick were found unconscious after the blast. One man was drying powder when the explosion occurred. The building side was torn out and rescuers reported fatally injured suspects.
In Washington on January 19 the interstate commerce bill by Senator Elkins sparked a heated committee session. Radical differences of opinion prevented progress and the meeting ended without conclusive conclusions.
Two local passenger trains on the Chicago and Northwestern line at Oak Park collided rear end. The engineer of the rear train failed to see signals indicating an obstructed track. Two persons were seriously injured and eight more slightly hurt. The incident occurred near Chicago in January.
A Northport resident, John Miller, was accidentally killed while hunting with Frank Baker on Coke's mountain. As they descended, their snowshoes tangled and Baker's gun discharged, killing Miller instantly. The Spokane report notes Miller was a well known Kalispell valley resident.
Jésse Kenney colored, 28, and Maggie Brenner, 14, were arrested after eloping from Oskaloosa Iowa. They wed at Dumfermline near Canton by Rev Holmes. The man secured the license, asserted the girl’s age, and will be taken back to Iowa to face kidnapping charges.
A German warship was fired upon by fort guns at a Venezuelan fortress. The shelling caused no damage as crews fired when men were believed to be inside the fort. No casualties reported.
In Puerto Cabello on January 17 German cruiser Vineta fired at Fort La Vigia as crowds watched. Commodore Scheder later claimed unauthorized persons were in the fort, but Venezuelan authorities deny the statement and say the firing caused no damage.
Geddes South Dakota January 17 It is feared Norman Fees a farmer near here froze to death after going insane and fleeing his home following blood poisoning from barbed wire bruising He was briefly jailed then released and attempted to reach Yankton State Hospital but disappeared into nearby timber near the Missouri River with no trace found despite extreme cold conditions.
In Butte Montana Judge McClennan resumed the Shores disbarment case with Harney as the first witness. He described the Thornton hotel meeting involving Ada N Brackett A J Shores D Gay Silver C W Clark and Jesse Root. Cross examination revealed unusual admissions about liquor and his ties to Ada Brackett linked to the Minnie Healy decision in favor of Heinze.
In Eau Claire and along the Chippewa River farmers, spurred by investigations by Kenneth McLeod of the Chippewa Lumber and Boom Company, have diverted thousands of dollars worth of logs in transit to build barns and other structures. One farmer syndicate ran a sawmill and lumber yard using company logs, with wholesale lawsuits threatened and an attorney hired to compel payment.
Arlington January 17 report two young men from the country west of town drank a bottle they believed held spirits of wine. They became violently ill. one died and the other is expected to recover.
Iowa Falls Iowa Jan 17 gs W Cohen a merchant here was closed up by the sheriff to secure a landlord s lien and protect other creditors Cohen has been here about two years Intruder Shot Dead Ishpeming Mich Jan 17 John Bernies shot and killed Matt Neioma while Neioma attempted to enter Bornies residence Both are Finlanders Bornies claims self defense
Duluth Minn January 19 All the saw mills shut down yesterday morning because of a strike by lumber pilers seeking higher wages. They demand 2.25 dollars per day with a 26 cent raise and recognition. The Red Cliff mill has paid the advance and restarted.
Case No. 24,613 recounts Joseph Calmes, foreman at Harter mills in Fostoria, Ohio, praising Dean's Kidney Pills for curing long standing kidney pains and backache. The ad promises a free trial by mail and notes the medicine is sold by all druggists for 50 cents per box.
A Brooklyn Eagle excerpt features a man recounting a tale of hypnotism and a girl kissed after, prompting a playful exchange. The woman jokes about being a good subject if hypnotized, reflecting light dialogue from the period.
List of patents granted to Minnesota residents includes Henry Amundson of Alexandria for a nail bin Alfred Anderson of Frazee for a stove hood John Crowley of Duluth for a tle plate Edwin Fabian of St Paul for a car coupling William Haight of Minneapolis for a railway rail Eugene Holston of Duluth for a garment Herbert Penney of Minneapolis for a water tube boiler Patent attorney Lothrop and Johnson in St Paul supplied the filing details.
A Washington Star exchange features Miss Cayenne admitting awareness of offensive remarks. She notes it is dreadful to have friends who relish such talk, highlighting social discomfort and the impact of sharp humor within a circle.
Warning against mercury based catarrh treatments emphasizes health risks and urges use of non mercury Hall's Catarrh Cure from F J Cheney Co Toledo Ohio. Claims cure works internally on blood and mucous surfaces with testimonials and pricing per bottle.
A humorous Life joke where a wife asks for dinner ideas and the husband replies he may not be home or will bring three or four friends, turning the dinner into an unexpected social occasion.
Sixty thousand American farmers found homes on rich soil of the Canadian Northwest in 1902. The Weekly Free Press of Winnipeg offers extensive information on lands, resources, climate, and government land regulations for Western Canada. Subscription $1.00 yearly. samples on request.
A witty debate unfolds about weather accuracy between a mild citizen and a prophet. The citizen argues forecasts arrive promptly regardless of announcements, while the prophet responds with a sharp retort about expectations and timing.
Druggists already stocked with Peruna almanacs anticipate high demand due to astrology articles. A competent astrologist provides horoscopic mental traits for each sign. Free questions and answers on astrology available. Encourage requests from customers before stocks run out.
Fragmentary Detroit Free Press remark cites Triplett describing Perkasie as lazy and unwilling to let friends work him, with a note on politeness and seeking advice. The clipping also includes an unrelated ad for Dr J H Rindlaur specialists in Fargo and a stray line about requesting a bill collector to call again.
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