Quips and Quirks From a Late News Page
A collage of satirical notices and light jabs about finance, etiquette, theater, and politics. Items include mint coins dated 1094, a New Year nudge about resolutions, Kipling parody reception, and remarks on New York prize fights and New Hampshire governors.
Ingenious Mix Not a Satisfactory Vermont Substitute
A curious note laments the idea that ker osene and molasses could replace Vermont maple. The piece mockingly suggests a physician may be named for a boy named Wandering Willie in a farcical public decision.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Vermont
Illinois Woman Reconciles with Long Stolen Pen
A Illinois woman reveals she stole a lead pen from a store twenty years ago and has now paid for it. The incident draws attention to lingering guilt and a rare act of restitution.
First brigade noted in Medicine Hat town
Medicine Hat’s first brigade is reported amid a town famous for ice houses. A Paris scientist has found a method to photograph the heart’s action, a discovery likely unwelcome to leap year girls who prefer to speak for themselves.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Medicine Hat
Paris
Stage Flames Spark Fear of Chicago Disaster
Observers watch actors strike matches on stage to light letters or cigars, drawing curious attention and recalling the Chicago tragedy signs.
Weyler cites U S opposition as reason not to invade
The article notes Gen. Weyler lists a key reason for not invading the United States: the United States would not let him in. It presents his explanation without embellishment.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gen. Weyler
United States
Strange tale of missing money and blank minds
The text hints at men stealing thousands then vanishing and reappearing claiming amnesia. It frames the mystery as perplexing and puzzling.
Laughing child stirs joy in Indianapolis Sentinel
Cartoonish note reflects the newspaper’s playful voice about a romping girl’s laughter sparking warmth, with a cheeky aside about her teasing potential. The line captures a lighthearted sentiment typical of the era’s society pages.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indianapolis Sentinel
New Ocean Steamer Ordered Reaches Record Length
The forthcoming ocean steamer will measure 755 feet, 30 feet longer than the world’s largest, promising an extraordinary run from end to end to energize travelers with a brisk morning constitutional.
Turkish journal in Cairo declares Turkish justice to Armenians
A Turkish language Cairo journal proclaims the Turks are the most just and tolerant nation, asserting its chief duty to show Armenians this claim, while noting it is not an "unny paper.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cairo
Brooklyn Woman Ann Reaches 107 Years
A Brooklyn woman named Ann has reached the age of 107. Those who have recently inquired about her age are likely seen by her as impertinent and meddlesome.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Brooklyn
Ann
Ellis Recounts Lincoln News To Abyssinia Emperor
Mr Ellis, recently hosted by Emperor Meneilk of Abyssinia, says the rugged old warrior shed tears of pleasure upon hearing Lincoln's emancipation of the slaves. He may have delivered the sensational news too abruptly.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Ellis
Meneilk
Abyssinia
Lincoln
Minister in Korea Needs Opera Hat on Legation Steps
A humorous note claims the Korean legation minister’s silk hat touches the eaves on the steps, suggesting he would benefit from an opera hat to clear the obstruction. The quip reflects lighthearted commentary on official attire and propriety in foreign posts.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Korea
Legation
Hepburn bill and Red River navigation acts reported
The House passes the Hepburn pure food bill. Rep Spalding introduces a measure declaring the Red River of the North non navigable in North Dakota. Reappointments for Valley City and Anamoose postmasters recommended. Rep Martin directed to report favorably a bill to set aside 5,000 acres including Battle Mountain for a Soldier s Sanatorium park at Hot Springs South Dakota.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
House
Spalding
Red River
North Dakota
Cheyenne River
E. H. Myhre
Valley City
N. C
Albrech
Anamoose
Martin
Battle Mountain
Hot Springs
Wright Testifies He Used Private Money For London Firm
Whitaker Wright said in London trial he lent the London and Globe between 2 and 2.5 million dollars from his own funds. He had prepared a 1.5 million settlement for his family but gave it to the company when it faced distress.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
London
Whitaker Wright
London and Globe Company
Australia
New Zealand
R. J. Seddon
Pretoria
Seddon
Vienna
Archduke Ferdinand Charles
Emperor Francis Joseph
Archduke Francis Ferdinand
Herr Emanuel Czuber
Vienna University
Notable Deaths Reach Across Nations and Sectors
A string of obituaries notes prominent figures and pioneers. Sir Henry Keppel, British admiral born 1809, dies. Marie Curie and husband deny US visit plans. Richmond P Hobson dies at Boulder Colorado. Jose Esteva, last surviving cabinet member of Emperor Maximilian, dies at Jalapa age 89. Prof. E F Turnover named UW Madison dean. Dr B G Dysart dies in Paris Missouri aged 70. Dr Pollock F Hyatt former U S consul at Santiago dies in Jersey Shore age 68. Francis A White of Everett dies in San Francisco at 80. Cyrus Jordan former Hillsdale College president dies in Ocean Park aged 74. He later edited Morning Star 1881-1900.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Henry Keppel
M. Curie
United States
Richmond P. Hobson
Shirley Davis
Boulder
Colo
Jose Esteva
Jalapa
Vera Cruz
Mex
Emperor Maxmillian
E. F. Turnover
Madison, Wis
University of Wisconsin Board of Regents
College of Engineering
E. F. Johnson
B. G. Dysart
Cockrell
Paris
Francis M. Cockrell
Pollock F. Hyatt
Santiago
Cuba
Jersey Shore
Dr. Hyatt
Francis A. White
Everett, Wash
New York Consolidated Mining Stock Exchange
Wall Street
San Francisco
Cyrus Jordan
Hillsdale College
Hillsdale, Mich
Ocean Park
Morning Star
Boston
Monongahela River Breaks Loose Threatening Pittsburgh
A sudden river surge damages banks and creates a dangerous gorge on the Monongahela River. Ice buildup worsens the risk as authorities warn the city of potential flood damage totaling up to a million dollars. Residents are urged to evacuate low-lying areas and monitor official updates.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pittsburg
Allegheny
Ohio
Monongahela
Saiter
Wabash
Smithfield Street
Allegheny River
Sharpsburg
Cleveland
Cuyahoga River
Flood Threat Looms As Ice Gorge Forms In Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh crews race to manage ice jam on Allegheny Monongahela confluence as barges sink and 25 000 workers face displacement while Cleveland sees relief from a temperature drop and Ashtabula reports drownings and local flood damages across Western New York and Dunkirk.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ashtabula
Ohio
Pierpont
Dexter Smith
George Hazeldine
Joseph Frick
Buffalo
N. Y
Multiple crimes and scandals reported around the nation
Non union drivers were beaten and robbed in St Louis by alleged unionists. A Hope Arkansas debate ends with fines for Gov. Jeff Davis and Judge Woon. Col. Bacon, 75, commits suicide in Colorado Springs due to rheumatism. A Nebraskan man kills himself after forcing son to pull the trigger. A Chicago postal clerk is jailed for stealing stamps bound for foreign countries. A Black man named Jumbo Clark is lynched in Florida after assaulting a white girl. Candy trust leaders plead guilty in New York to conspiracy. An attempted train wreck near Pensacola is foiled by discovered obstructions. A New York charity official is sued for 25 000 dollars over alleged wrongful payment to an old man. Missing Illinois treasurer William Inglis prompts denials by friends. Esther Riley is assaulted in Chicago on her way to church. Mrs May Baker in Cleveland swallows carbolic acid after marriage rejection. Clarence Taylor of Minneapolis GE missing after borrowing money and writing bad checks. A New York University student faces suspension over alleged theft of books and funds.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
St. Louis
Jeff Davis
Judge Woon
Hope
Ark
John H. Bacon
Colorado Springs
George Smith
Burwell
Neb
August C. Brucker
Chicago
Jumbo Clark
High Springs
Fla
The
Candy Trust
New York
Combine
Louisville & Nashville
Pensacola
George Blair
New York City
Robert Walms
William P. Inglis
Illinois St. Andrew's Society
Esther Riley
Congress Hotel Company
Harrison Street
May Baker
Cleveland
John Rooney
Rooney
Clarence D. Taylor
Minneapolis General Electric Company
Fires Wreck Multiple Buildings Across Cities
A series of blazes caused extensive losses: Gund Jach and Manhattan Optical in Rochester New York suffered $55,000 in damage. Hoadley building in New Haven $150,000. Peter Vredenburg Lumber yard in Springfield $76,000 with eight horses burned. Turner opera house in Findlay destroyed at $40,000. Vine Street School Kalamazoo two mentions totaling about $20,000 with 500 pupils evacuated safely. H. P. Garrity & Co wool warehouse in Boston and Associated Wool Orders building also damaged for about $75,000. Bloemfontein reservoir burst in South Africa drowning about thirty and destroying hotels and 176 houses.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gund Jach and Manhattan Optical Company
Rochester
N. Y
Waler
Hoadley
New Haven
Peter Vredenburg Lumber Company
Springfield
Ill
Vine Street
Kalamazoo
Mich
H. P. Garrity & Co
Boston
Associated Wool Orders Company
Bloemfontein
South Africa
Notable Honors and Marital News From Abroad
Emperor William awards the Red Eagle to Prof. Kuno Francke of Harvard. Lady Marjorie Greville wed Viscount Helmsley with a diamond brooch from King Edward. The Porte endorses Macedonian reforms and refugee repatriation, sparing only dynamitors. A French lieutenant dismisses a lover. Mme Trouille is killed in a boarding house assault. Copenhagen greets King Christian’s return amid jubilation. Prince Tuan in Pekin is ill. he and Prince Chwang were sentenced for life after the Boxer outbreak.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
William of
Germany
Kuno Francke
Harvard University
Marjorie Greville
Countess of Warwick
Viscount Helmsley
Feversham
Warwick
Edward
Marjorie
Porte
Lieut
Trouille
Cretien
Mme. Trouille
Copenhagen
Christian
Gmunden
Austria
Pekin
Prince Tuan
Prince Chwang
Various early 1900s notices and statements from US cities
The excerpt lists diverse items: Prohibition convention call for Indianapolis on June 29. Pittsburg Steamship Co offices kept in Duluth amid reports. Cincinnati mayor closes Heuck's opera house for fire concerns. It notes a new Boston sect Christian Israelites predicting 1916, Maj. Gen. MacArthur halting extended leaves in Pacific division, and H. A. Rucker under fire for flag duties. Also Kendall memorial fund in Kansas City funding Methodist church, and a peak of Italian emigration to the United States in 1903 near 260,000.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indianapolis
Pittsburg Steamship Company
Duluth
Fleisshmann
Cincinnati
Heuck
Christian Israelites
Boston
MacArthur
San Francisco
Pacific
Customs
H. A. Rucker
Atlanta
Federal
John B. Gordon
Kansas City
William W. Kendall
Methodist Episcopal Church
Jesus
United States
Senate votes for Panama inquiry resolution
The Senate adopted a resolution calling for an inquiry into Panama affairs, introduced by Mr. Gorman, with speeches by Mr. Dolliver and on recess appointments. The House passed 209 pension bills and resolutions seeking information on government horses and carriages for war and justice departments.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Senate
Panama
Washington
Gorman
Dolliver
House
Secretary of War
Actor Prevents Panic with Calm Stage Command
Nat Wills, center stage at the Grand theater in Kansas City, calmed a frightened audience when an electric light failure sparked a curtain blaze. He urged everyone to stay seated, referencing a Chicago tragedy to deter panic. Firemen promptly extinguished the small fire without injuries.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kansas City
Grand Theater
Nat Wills
Wills
Chicago
Tornado Rips Moundville Killing Thirty Seven In Town
A violent tornado struck Moundville Alabama killing 37 people and injuring more than 100. Nearly every business and multiple homes were destroyed along a quarter mile wide path ten miles of forest laid bare. Surgeons rushed from nearby towns as families were torn apart and freight cars and cotton warehouses were wrecked.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tuscaloosa
Ala
Moundville
Here
Greensboro
R. L. Griffin
A. W. Wiggins & Son
J. W. Domenick
A. D. Griffin
W. P. Phifer
Bank Officer A Defaulter In Grain Speculation
An officer of the Produce Exchange Banking company faces embezzlement charges after $170,000 allegedly misused. The bank closed with assets and liabilities listed at $1.5 million. Cleveland Trust appointed as receivers. The case, eight years in irregularity, threatens small merchants and depositors.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cleveland
Ohio
Produce Exchange Banking Company
Cleveland Trust Company
Fire Claims Brooklyn Firefighter At Buss Company Plant
A large blaze gutted the six story BE W Buss company factory in Plymouth Street Brooklyn destroying upper floors. Nearly half the Brooklyn Fire Department and four municipal fire boats fought the fire. One firefighter died after falling from a ladder. Damage estimated at $200,000 and covered by insurance.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Brooklyn
New York
Fire Department of
BE. W. Buss Company
Plymouth Street
United States Navy
Theater Managers Testify On Iroquois Fire Responsibility
Will J. Davis and Harry J. Powers testified before the coroner's jury in Chicago, denying blame for the Iroquois theater fire. Powers shifted fault to Davis and employees while Davis avoided naming individuals, expressing confidence in workers and Fuller Construction to meet city ordinances.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Powers
Davis
Chicago
Will J. Davis
Harry J. Powers
Fuller Construction Company
Former bank president convicted on false certificates
Albert C. Twining, former president of the defunct First National Bank at Asbury Park, was convicted in U.S. district court of making false certificates to the controller of the currency about the bank’s condition. More indictments loom. he’s also been convicted in Monmouth County for estate fund misuse and is on bail pending appeal.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Trenton
N. J
Albert C. Twining
First National Bank
Asbury Park
United States District Court
Twining
Monmouth County
Hard Battle in Santo Domingo Forces Clash
New York dispatch reports Gen. Caceres clashing with rebels, Ramon Tanarez and seven others killed. Caceres seizes Castillo city while Gen. Jiminez retires to the fort. government troops short of ammunition in Santo Domingo.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Santo Domingo
New York
Caceres
Ramon Tanarez
Herald
Puerto Plata
Castillo City
Jiminez
Wells Fargo Says Sunset Limited Robbery Loss Under Two Thousand
Wells Fargo officials in San Francisco state the Sunset Limited train robbery near San Luis Obispo yielded little treasure. Four men are jailed in San Luis Obispo as detectives continue their inquiry. manager Christensen cites total losses not exceeding $2000 and exonerates Messenger Sullivan from responsibility.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Wells-Fargo Company
San Francisco
Wells-Farco Company
Express
San Luis Obispo
Southern Pacific Company
Winnipeg Starts the Year With an Unusually Bright Building Outlook
Winnipeg Man January 24 Building prospects for the year are bright since January 1 permits for buildings costing 31800 have been issued. The January figures surpass any prior January with totals of 6300 in 1900 1700 in 1901 21360 in 1902 and 12400 in 1903.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Winnipeg
Man
Real Estate Man Arrested in Minnesota Fraud Case
W B Devoe a Minnesota and Iowa real estate agent is under arrest on Ed Moeller of Grow’s complaint for appropriating a bank issued certificate of deposit claimed by Hugh and Ed Moeller. The matter centers on a 1400 acre land sale and the case is continued to Monday.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Anoka
Minn
W. B. Devoe
Minnesota
Iowa
Ed Moeller
Grow
Hugh
Farmer Gus Newland Hangs Self in Hayloft
Gus Newland a 52 year old farmer living three miles from Pepin Wis hanged himself in the hayloft yesterday morning authorities report the cause remains unknown and no foul play is suspected The tragedy occurred near Pepin Wisconsin on January 24.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pepin
Wis
Gus Newland
Freight Trains Collide Near Horseshoe Drive
An east bound freight train collided head on with a westbound train on the Pennsylvania railroad at Horseshoe drive in Altoona. Two engines eleven cars of coal coke and beef were wrecked and burned. The trainmen escaped injury.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Altoona
Pennsylvania Railroad
Fire devastates Lost Nation stores in $50,000 blaze
A large fire in Lost Nation Iowa caused about 50000 dollars in damage to McMeel's drug store Willard's general store Henderson's office building and the hotel in the western part of Clinton County on January 24.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lost Nation
Clinton
Iowa
McMeel
Willard
Henderson
Potato Combine Forms in Moorhead for Mutual Protection
Potato growers in Moorhead Minnesota have decided to organize for mutual protection. The plan includes inspection of potatoes shipped out and the issuance of certificates guaranteeing quality.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Moorhead
Minn
Bedford teacher found murdered after assault in carriage shed
The body of Miss Sarah Schaefer, Latin teacher at Bedford high school, was discovered in a carriage house. She had been assaulted and robbed, with her body badly mutilated after a brutal struggle. Miss Schaefer had moved to Bedford from Elkhart a year prior and was widely admired.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bedford
Ind
Sarah Schaefer
Bedford High School
Schaefer
Elkhart
Oscar dies from injuries in Crookston incident
Crookston Minn January 23 Oscar dies from injuries in a reported incident. Local authorities say the case remains under investigation with few details available as the community mourns the loss of the individual involved.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Crookston, Minn
Oscar
City Votes to Buy Owens Lumber Water Power
In Black River Falls Wisconsin on January 21 the election result shows the city approving by about three to one the proposal to buy the water power rights from the Owens Lumber Company. The city already holds an option on the power.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Black River Falls
Wis
Owens Lumber Company
Doan’s Kidney Pills End Pain for Lebanon Official
J. W. Walls, Superintendent of Streets in Lebanon Kentucky, reports kidney illness caused severe back and kidney pain with troublesome secretions. He credits Doan’s Kidney Pills with quick lasting relief after doctors failed, and endorses the remedy for other kidney disorder sufferers. Foster-Milburn Co. of Buffalo sells them for 60 cents a box.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. W. Walls
Lebanon
Doan
Foster-Milburn Co
Buffalo, N. Y
Cholly and Miss Peppery Dialog Report
The Philadelphia Press records a humorous exchange where Cholly and Miss Peppery discuss a supposed cold. Cholly confirms feeling illness in his head while Miss Peppery jokes about head contraction as fact.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cholly
Miss Peppery
Cholly—Yaas
Miss Pepprey
Philadelphia Press
10 000 Plants for 16 Cents Offer from Balzer Seed Co
An Italian style advertisement from the John A Balzer Seed Co La Crosse Wis offers 10 000 plants for 16 cents plus a seed catalog. The deal includes seeds for cabbages carrots lettuce onions radishes and flowers with free postage on return plus 20 cent postage for an extra pack. A Berliner Cauliflower is mentioned.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John A. Balzer Seed Co
la Crosse
Wik
Northwestern inventors win several patents last week
List of patents issued to Northwestern inventors includes Campbell of Minneapolis for coupling for awning frames W Conner of Minneapolis vending machine Dietrich of St. Cloud saw set Fleming of Bemidji safe Traviss of St. Thomas North Dakota colter Washburn of Minneapolis car coupling Washburn and Johnson of Minneapolis coupling support submitted through patent lawyers at 911 912 Pioneer Press Bldg St Paul
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Northwestern
At. Campbell
Minneapolis
Minn
William Conner
Joseph Dietrich
St. Cloud
William Fleming
Bemidji
Norman Traviss
St. Thomas
N. D
Colter
Edwin Washburn
Ane Johnson
Pioneer Press Bidg
St. Paul
Drama Sparks Debate Over Jones’s Aptitude
In Detroit Free Press commentary, quotes clash on Jones's intelligence and moral sense, arguing that cleverness alone does not equate to artistry or decency in drama. The exchange highlights tensions between talent and ethics in theatrical critique.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jones
Detroit Free Press
Amusing Allen's Foot Ease Promises Feet Relief
A testimonial from Mrs. Matilda Holtert of Providence Rhode Island proclaims Allen's Foot Ease a rare good thing for sore or tired feet. Sold by all druggists for two bits. ask today.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Allen
Matilda Holtert
Providence
R. I
Let him be in peace motto carved for Bill
The Washington Star quotes an old inhabitant recalling a funeral gesture for Bill after his death. They carved a motto that reflected their belief he could rest in peace, noting he had one fault: not telling the truth.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington Star
Detectives Spot Woman in Masculine Disguise
Chicago Tribune reports detectives recognized a pickpocket in masculine attire by an awkward attempt to imitate male fashion. The disguising woman’s performance faltered under scrutiny, leading to her identification.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago Tribune
Refined Gold Bracelet Question Sparks Purchase
Mrs. Nuritch questions the bracelet’s refinement as she considers buying the piece. The jeweler confirms it is refined gold, and Mrs. Nuritch asserts her dislike for anything lacking refinement.
Her Strong Point and the Bald Kitchen Joke
Comic snippet reports Mr Highmus and Mrs Highmus debating the new kitchen girl. Mrs Highmus notes she isn’t a good cook but finds solace in the joke that she is perfectly bald.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Highmus
Doctor's letter touts grape nuts as life saver
A renowned physician credits Grape-Nuts with saving his life after years of stomach and liver illness. He reports rapid weight gain and renewed health after starting the diet, urging others to try the product and reading The Road to Wellville booklet.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Postum.Co
Battle Creek
Mich
Wellville
Also Mentioned on This Page
Emmons County Record
D. R. Streeter
Linton, Minmons County
Austin
Kipling
Philadelphia Mint
Washington Post
Thomas Lipton
California
New Hampshire
Willie
Monongahela River
New York University
Turner Opera House
Findlay
Congress
Mound
Ville, Ala
Hull
Miss Schaefer
Shelly Lake