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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jan 22, 1904
Page
3
A compilation of satirical observations touching economics, foreign affairs, theater, royal scandal, and rail safety. The piece lampoons political figures, business fortunes, and social trends with nation and city references, noting bold claims about profits and public events.
A rumor suggests Mr. Morgan offered 260000 for the original Paradise Lost manuscript. The quip asks what he might bid for Paradise Re gained, implying a speculative value for a reworked or imagined manuscript.
A Missouri man who spoke of a scrupulous conscience has reportedly secured more than $2,000 by illicit means and returned by stealth the sizable sum. The article notes the unusual combination of guilt and swift repayment.
An Indiana author writes a history of the world, yet the text questions the relevance of finance today and shifts focus to a treatise about the liver and health.
A fashion magazine note describes hand-painted stockings as the season’s must wear item for the X girls who are shown in current trends. The piece links festive style to Christmas Eve preparations and accessorizing.
Little Bobby von der Goltz of Cincinnati discovers a $2650 legacy in his Christmas stocking but names it a disappointment lacking a red wagon or a pair of shoes.
Wos y Gil is reported to be in hiding. It isn t likely, however, that a man with as much money as he is reported to have carried away with him can keep out of sight very long.
Amid reports of riots murders and hold ups in Chicago authorities issue a strict directive requiring officers to maintain creased trousers and tidy uniforms as a standard of professionalism and discipline.
Fragmentary aged text hints at unrest and the desire for excitement amid revolts and fighting. The narrator questions how dull life would be without turmoil on the island of Hayti and its breaking of ice and clashes.
Long Gee a Chinese laundryman near New York has applied to the courts for a divorce from his wife a Chinese woman. Friends and acquaintances feel intensely and thoroughly scandalized at his American conduct.
A historical note laments Bill Nye the grave in North Carolina lacking a stone and buried among weeds. The piece imagines the comedian could joke about the neglect if he were alive today.
The writer muses about a rumored pitchblende mine in Pennsylvania containing radium with tantalizing possibilities. They speculate that John D. Rockefeller could gain exclusive ownership in the future, though no concrete facts are provided.
Raymond Hall, fourteen, was electrocuted yesterday at Hawthorn grounds after a live electric wire broke and the boy picked up one end of it. Helena, Mont., January 17.
J J Hill president of the Great Northern railroad spoke at the Minnesota State Agricultural Society meeting in Minneapolis, urging farmers to expand markets, irrigate public lands, and modernize farming to compete with foreign imports, while warning of costs if Britain tariffs or Oriental demand shifts harm farm income.
The Daily Mail Seoul interview with M. Pavloff claims Russia will protect Korean sovereignty at all costs and oppose Japanese troops landing. It says Russia will employ Fabian tactics, avoid fighting, and Japan will defeat itself. Other dispatches discuss Japanese engineers on the trans-Siberian line and Korea opening ports.
Edward K. Landis a prominent Philadelphia chemist aged forty five shot and killed his wife Emma aged forty three at their home in West Philadelphia then killed himself. He had been ill with asthma and in a nervous state. neighbors said a ringing bell drove him to madness.
In Montvideo on January 17 authorities report a serious clash with insurgents. Government troops engaged the rebels and the insurgents suffered heavy losses in the combat.
A large barn belonging to Mrs Adelaide Skillman in Zumbrota burned with contents and some livestock. Loss estimated at 3000 dollars, partly insured. Nearby buildings were saved. Fire occurred Jan 14 and Red Wing, Minnesota report.
Crookston Minnesota January 14 twelve saloonkeepers and alleged gamblers from East Grand Forks named in indictments will contest their cases in the district court here.
Ashland Wisconsin January 17 police uncover a daring and extensive railroad coal robbery by an organized band. Over years the Northwestern road's coal and merchandise were frequently short weighed. arrests not yet made but evidence sufficient to identify all guilty parties and the case is with railroad detectives.
The Wisconsin National Guard association closed its convention re-electing all officers led by President Charles R. Boardman. It urged Congress to fund militia alignment with the regular army, grant free postage for officers, and set a camp near Camp Douglas. The group accepted an invitation to hold its annual encampment at the St Louis exposition grounds.
Washington January 17 no immediate action will be taken on building sawmills on Minnesota Indian reservations as timber operations start this year. The secretary may grant authority later if it proves beneficial to the Indians. A. A. Cole of Walker Minnesota argues logs should be saved on the reservations and profits kept locally.
In Yankton South Dakota on January 16 19 year old Charles Werner a student at Yankton college killed himself in an outbuilding on campus. His body lay in a pool of blood with a deep throat wound and a razor nearby. Werner reportedly spoke I am not fit to live indicating religious fervor guided his action.
Governor Herreid pardons Quincy Edwards of Deadwood who was convicted of forgery and sentenced to one year seven months. The pardon follows Dr. Germain’s report of an aggravated consumption with severe hemorrhages, declaring Edwards incurable and likely to die within days.
Donnybrook North Dakota reports a second fire in Ward County town with an estimated loss of 30000 dollars and about 20000 dollars insured. The blaze began with an explosion in the oil stock of the C A Peterson Hardware company and destroyed everything north of the railroad track after a train crew alerted the town.
Wisconsin university plans a national oratorical contest between state universities at an annual meeting. Extemporaneous orations will mark a change from the former custom.
The focal deputy game warden at Winton found three large moose heads hidden in a shanty and arrested owner George Wattsworth for possession and sale. Wattsworth was fined $50 and cas elements totaling $100. The heads were shipped to the state fish and game warden in St Paul.
Butte Montana January 17 The disbarment case against A J Shores and D Gay Stivers attorneys for the Amalgamated Copper company sought to have them disbarred by Judge Harney has been dismissed
Verndale Minnesota January 17 fire gutted the large home of T L Dickinson yesterday afternoon. A defective chimney is believed to have caused the blaze. Loss estimated at 1500 dollars with no insurance.
In Stanley County court William Kunnecke admitted guilt to the murder of Andrew Demmber, ending a case that linked him to charges involving Robert Salisbury and Lewis Parker in an alleged horse stealing and branding scheme.
Joshua Heller of 7066 Walnut street Urbana Illinois testifies in 1899 that Dean's Kidney Pills relieved kidney trouble and back pain. He says future attacks are prevented and endorses the product as before. Foster Milburn Co Buffalo New York sells for 50 cents a box.
A Kennebec Journal snippet notes a couple by a fireplace exchanging lines about kisses described as velvet and felt, with the winter wind adding a quiet mood to the scene. The fragment provides a lyrical, intimate moment from a small-town setting in Maine.
A rural postmistress and her friend discuss the joys of mail reading. The postmistress notes letters bring more steam than postal cards, reflecting light domestic humor in a Catholic Standard and Times style.
An advertising claim states deafness cannot be cured by local applications and must be treated constitutionally. It explains deafness stems from inflammation of the Eustachian tube mucous lining and catarrh, promising $100 for an uncured case and urging readers to send for circulars from F. J. Cheney & Co. and to buy Hall’s Catarrh Cure and Hall’s Family Pills.
A brief New York note recalls Hewitt and Jewett exchanging quips about luck and wealth with poker as a starting point. The line Oh, I don’t know echoes a humorous reply about a royal flush as a metaphor for early money.
Advertisement offers 160 acre parcels of fine land in Emmons County with potential to break 100 acres in spring, sow with Salzer's Flax, and pay for the land from first year harvest. Ten similar pieces available from John A Salzer Seed Co. CW N U La Crosse Wis.
A terse note reports a political clash as a mission preacher detained under orders attributed to the prime minister. The exchange mentions a judge and calls for action against the preacher cited as excessive in his sermons.
The Chicago News quotes a college man who jokes about his varied sports and impending study. He notes football is over, he now plays hockey, will try polo and lacrosse, then baseball. He hints he will study during the next vacation if possible.
A humorous exchange notes a man raising a car window for a pretty young lady and her eyes, then raising his hat to be met with the father raising cane. The joke highlights light social etiquette and parental sharpness in a city daily.
Joklin reports daily letters from his wife when he's away. Milmak notes he need not read them. Joklin reveals his wife catechises him and insists on letter perfect compliance, highlighting a humorous domestic dynamic quoted by the Boston Transcript.
A Memphis furniture dealer credits Postum with curing nervous spells after abandoning coffee. He weighed 142 pounds, switched to Postum, exercised more, and now weighs 165 with improved health. The testimonial cites a Memphis physician’s advice and a Battle Creek Postum company claim.
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