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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jan 19, 1900
Page
3
A fragment from the Syracuse Herald hints at a scene where a character questions a collectors taste as a wife is introduced, capturing a quirky moment in a period newspaper tone.
A party of explorers in the Rocky Mountains finally stumbles onto a new mountain pass after many narrow escapes. In unrelated news, Lostetter's Stomach Bitters is praised for improving digestion, bowel regularity, and liver activity when used faithfully.
A Washington Star quotation contrasts a matinee reaction with a columnist remark on arranged marriages. A woman laments forcing a daughter to wed a man she does not love while Mr Blykins suggests sympathy for obsessive family matchmakers, labeling it a life tragedy.
Mrs. M. I. Baldwin of Box 1212 Chicago Illinois advertises a personal cure for morphine laudanum opium and cocaine addiction stating repeated failures with others and promising safe home treatment.
In a lively exchange, Boggs questions Biggs Blings musical sense while accusing him of choosing an atrocious necktie. The New York Bulletin notes the playful clash over fashion and taste.
A father hears his son reveal that he has wed and shares a rare moment of unity. The dialogue shows the groom claiming they are two souls with a single thought, while the father notes this single thought is an unusual gain for him.
A playful exchange notes that an astrologer told by birth date might not reveal personal misfortunes but could disclose when a parent’s misfortunes started. The dialogue contrasts superstition with prudent skepticism through a comic quip attributed to the New York World.
Special Commissioner in Washington explores Japan's shift to meat eating over 25 years. Nitobe notes dietary change may spur stronger stimulants and liquor use, describes Shinto and Buddhist influence, regional farming divides, increased cattle slaughter, and Japan's efforts to boost horse and cattle breeding amid growing demand and war lessons.
A trained snake tamer took his serpent to a new place where the snake, unused to the locality, fled into the bushes and resisted capture. After being recaptured it returned to tame behavior, illustrating snakes’ tendency to go wild when free and tame when caught.
The New York Herald excerpt features Hewitt asking what constitutes real agony and Jewett answering with the humorous idea of a foot asleep just as one wants to run for a train. The brief dialogue plays on ordinary discomfort as a stand in for deeper distress.
A New Orleans laundry crew washed and ironed a notorious yellow striped shirt in just over an hour. The owner, a sportsman who swore by hoodoos, won big earlier tied to the garment and paid $5 for the quick turnaround. He then lost $150 that day, blaming the misfortune on his luck—linked to the shirt.
The Philadelphia Times recounts ravens using cunning tricks to steal food from hares and dogs. A tame raven mimics cries for help to lure rescuers, revealing learned speech from Capt. Brown's account of a southern England wood incident.
A fragment from Stray Stories recounts St Kilda’s “marriage test” where hopeful husbands balance on a ledge to prove courage, amid notes on rock climbing and the island's tiny population. The passage also extolls microbes as the source of flower scents, and a stray classroom anecdote about a prank and a teacher.
Isaac Brock of McLennan County Texas claims to be 111, born 1788, and credits Peruna with his long life. He praises Dr Hartman’s books and says catarrh and related ailments are the same disease. Brock urges Peruna as the remedy especially for the elderly and notes a free book on catarrh from The Peruna Medicine Co.
An insect nicknamed the Insect which counts in New Caledonia on banapa leaves performs a series of precise rotational movements. It starts with six turns then alternates directions, later counts five, four, three, two, and finally one turn before stopping motionless. The creature resumes its mathematical displays when agitated again.
Patents issued last week to inventors from Minnesota and North Dakota include Benhof E. Benhardus of St. Olaf giving a musical instrument, Carr W. and R. L. Cleveland of Devils Lake for a calculating machine, William H. Hana of Montevideo for an Umner-protector, John Hickey of St. Paul for a car transom, Olof Johnson of Hibbing for Tympangage, William Ralph of Minneapolis for a sofa and bed, and Merwin Lothrop & Johnson as patent attorneys at 911 912 Pioneer Press Bidg St Paul.
A quote from the Cleveland Plain Dealer frames a political figure from Eddlecomb as a professional belter. He counters that his party abandoned him five times, presenting a contrasting view of loyalty and support within the party.
A vintage patent medicine claim promises to cure colds in a day using Laxative Bromo Quinine tablets. The ad asserts all compradors refund the purchase if it fails and features a signature from W Grove on each box.
A brief exchange quoted from Punch notes a man asking about Mrs Fitzsimmons and being told she is not at home. He later sees her on the porch, and she confirms she saw him. The joke hinges on the social misreading and the timing of the encounter.
The Detroit Journal quotes critics describing adversaries as savages in war. It alleges enemy forces target hospital corps and scope operators, highlighting accusations of deliberate attacks on medical staff and observers.
The Utica Observer notes an Irishman painting a barn hurriedly saying he wants to finish before the paint runs out. An unrelated ad promotes Allen's Foot-Ease powder for tired feet, plus a joke about a nurse starting a new job in front of a police station from Tammany Tines.
An advertisement by Dr J H Rindlaur of Fargo warns against mercury based remedies and promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure from F J Cheney Co Toledo. The piece cites testimonials, pricing at 7 1 2 cents and urges buying genuine Toledo made medicine. A humorous aside from Baltimore News and Chicago Tribune pieces follows, mentioning Disraeli and Gladstone in a historic exchange and a Central Asia natives comment on window boarding in the Hin country.
In a Cleveland Plain Dealer excerpt, a doctor bluntly tells a woman in ballet that she is of frail age and should retire early to take the best care of herself, prompting her retort about her dance career.
A Washington Star excerpt depicts a roof scene where a workman alarms his partner about a live wire while the assistant boasts immunity from shocks after claiming to have seen every French force that visited the town. The author notes there is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than being surprised by nothing.
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