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This newspaper page contains 28 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jan 05, 1911
Page
7
A Cree band wakes to find about a dozen ponies stolen. Pursuit follows a winded trail to a wooded island where Piegan hoards enter a cave that proves to be a rock opening. The elder Piegan uses a looping circuit to exhaust the Cree, allowing his escape with thirty or more rifles and fifty others hidden.
A food specialist notes most people get indigestion from bananas by choosing solid pale fruit and eating it raw. He contrasts this with natives who prefer brown ripe bananas with soft brown flesh eaten with a spoon and claim it agrees with delicate stomachs.
A meek man refuses to answer yes or no to a lawyer’s questions. The judge presses for a reply as the witness asks if the lawyer can honestly claim to be as foolish as he appears, prompting a sharp courtroom exchange. (Newark Star)
In 1882 S H Parker notes a Chinese prohibition on desecrating writing on paper. A Sichuan or Peking rule forbade making tin paper from manuscript or tinted waste paper. In many towns streets hold boxes for waste fragments marked for respectful saving of documentary papers.
An orator declares he will lift a voice for truth but faces a donkey in the crowd. The beast brays, catching a moment of laughter. The orator recovers and proclaims only a jackass would challenge him.
A New York Sun report recounts a parrot owned by a hotel guest that learned to shout Give the boy a dime. Bellboys tested the bird by training it to repeat the phrase on demand, timed with wearing uniforms. The scheme culminated when a bellboy received a coin from a startled guest.
A comic Irish rooming tale in which Pat meets multiple lodgers in one bed and jokes about the crowd. A New York dinner party pairs Miss May Sinclair with Mark Twain who, after silence, gently chides the younger author to be less boisterous.
The editor recalls Whitefield's remark to the intended wife's parents about seeking a mistress for his orphanage and blessing God if he knows his own heart he is free from the foolish passion the world calls love.
A husband signals his wish for privacy as guests linger. He suggests the wife distracts them by playing the piano to send them home. The exchange reveals domestic humor and clever coping in social gatherings.
An Anglo Indian merchant in the East, after rival suitors clashed over a girl, returns to find Laj jailed. A meticulous search uncovers poisoned cigars with thorn marks. The merchant tests one and Laj refuses to smoke it, proving guilt. police arrest follows.
A humorous Chicago Tribune exchange explains the idiom get someone’s goat. Professor McGoozle clarifies that the phrase simply means to acquire possession of another person’s horned ruminant, without specifying how or by what means.
A fond mother praises Georgie to the new minister describing him as polite and unusually articulate. The pastor compliments the boy and asks him to speak, while Georgie humorously asserts his honesty and asks for a nickel in a playful exchange.
A couple finalizes home ownership after years of saving. The husband sighs that while it is nice to have their own space, they miss the ongoing monthly disputes with the landlord over repairs he never makes. The brief exchange captures a bittersweet shift to independence.
A Cincinnati Commercial Tribune account describes Turkish jails as crowded, ill lit dens with prisoners of various crimes. Foreigners face language barriers, while one open courtyard prison near Plevlje hosts 411 inmates in a ramshackle cell block. Folk feed prisoners through bars, a scene likened to zoo interaction.
A hotel guest in No 7 repeatedly checked the piazza thermometer as heat rose during his stay. The landlord jokes about billing him for a daily dinner for use of the thermometer, reflecting travel expenses and hotel charges. The tale appears from Youth's Companion.
The late William James joked that brain fag afflicts business men more from whisky and tobacco than heavy study. He recounted a tale of a boy asking his father what executive ability is, and the father answered that it is the faculty of earning your bread by the sweat of other people's brows.
A London Bishop visiting friends played a young man at lawn tennis. He confessed difficulty with the service, then the youth retorted Tit for tat saying he could not stand the bishop’s yesterday. The exchange showcases witty churchly sportmanship from the London M A P.
A landlady explains that a music teacher with eleven children occupies the next apartment, making so much noise that the piano cannot be heard. A polite caller remarks how unpleasant this must be for tenants seeking quiet. The exchange highlights the unexpected disruption in a residential building.
In a London Tit-Bits excerpt, Flora rejects marriage to Mr. Jenks saying she values him as a friend but cannot marry. Jenks concedes that she might be influenced by others, yet suggests nature was the main cause.
Jewelers warn that watch life hinges on the owner’s care and consistent winding. Regular oiling intervals vary from every 18 months to four years. A well kept watch may endure thirty to forty years, with fine models lasting about fifty to seventy, though most fail sooner under constant use. A single remarkable 125 year old relic proved unusually durable.
Fahier conveys a quiet exchange with George about bedtimes and the hour 11:48. The elder asks for time, the younger replies that he rarely sleeps early, suggesting personal preference if he were in the elder’s place.
Florida ranks second in east of the Mississippi in area at over 51000 square miles with more than 1500 miles of coast. It is described as having an extensive system of landlocked harbors, wide rivers and broad lakes with state canals promising cheap transportation. Its soil is said to produce almost every known fruit in abundance.
A New England university faculty member recalls a freshman who asked a professor if he had proved a Euclid proposition. The reply noted that while "proved" is strong, the student claimed to have rendered it highly probable.
An elderly stranger invited by the superintendent addressed the Sunday school asking which is the longest Bible chapter. Many hands rose until a boy in the front replied Psalm 119 aloud, delivering a playful answer that drew smiles from the audience.
A charwoman explains she removed a child from a school because the teacher is unsatisfactory. She says the teacher told the child IV spells four, though even an idiot knows it spells it. The London Graphic reports the remark as a witty simplified spelling exchange.
Taken up livestock notice for a red cow with white head and horns. Appeared in November, taken up by P. Nieuwsma four miles southwest of Hull on Section 17 Township 120 Range 7A. Owner must prove property and pay charges. Also a carpet weaving ad for Geo Brooks.
Red cow with white spot below left shoulder branded on left hip. Taken up Dec 10 1910 by Jacob Shili southeast of Linton North Dakota on Section 24 Town 182 Range 76. Owner may reclaim by proving property by Dec 22 to Jan 5.
Joseph Volk mortgaged property to Geo. W. Burge on March 29 1910 to secure a note due November 1 1910. Owed amount listed as 228.95 as of this notice. Property to be sold at 2 PM January 14 1911 at the county courthouse front door Emimions North Dakota for cash to highest bidder. Personal property includes several horses and a pair of mares with ages and weights. Lynn Coventry Attorneys for Mortgagee.
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