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This newspaper page contains 30 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Feb 23, 1900
Page
2
The piece presents a satirical collage of aphorisms and notices about ambition, law, taxation, geopolitics, and foreign entanglements. It references Emmons Co. of Linton, D. R. Streeter, and a playful note on a U S trooper’s telegraphic marriage while lampooning international affairs and the idea of national prosperity spilling into Canada.
A state with a surplus of over a million dollars in its treasury plans to devote the extra to improving public schools. Separately, the U S Supreme Court ruled against the Associated Pipe Works, finding the gas, water and sewer pipe bid cartel violated interstate commerce laws by fixing bids and sharing profits.
The disfigurement of scenery with hideous advertisements is a great evil in this country but not unique to it. England has formed a society with a periodical to combat it and curb extents. Public sentiment already shows advertisers guilty of repellent displays will lose patronage, guiding a remedy within reach of the public.
The Department of Agriculture reports ongoing work by the division of botany on poisons from plants. Since 1896 a systematic inquiry into actual poisoning cases has continued, with last year’s fatalities including over 4000 farm animals and at least 21 people. The text notes actual deaths are likely higher and compares national human deaths to England, urging public education and wider study of poisonous plants.
English soldiers and newspapers lament red tape hindering wartime efforts. The complaint mirrors wartime friction seen in this country, warning that bureaucratic delays cost lives, waste millions, and dampen patriotic zeal among thousands of brave soldiers.
A Chicago woman briefly had a stranger arrested for bigamy after mistaking him for her husband. The incident underscores the ongoing difficulty some women have in recognizing their spouses and prompts commentary on cautious use of legal recourse.
A Chicago man has secured a patent for his own typewriter design. The inventor pursued the idea after experimenting with lighter, simpler mechanisms to improve speed and reliability.
A strange invasion of devilfish haunts the English Channel between Trouville and Cape de la Hague. Fishermen battle numerous, small to mid-sized cephalopods that ruin gear and threaten fishing, with historic literary comparisons to Victor Hugo and Wells. The article links the event to sea legends and notes uncertainty about duration.
A nurse discusses the hospital habit with a Times-Democrat man. She notes chronic patients drift between hospitals, prolong stays, and feign illnesses to remain inside. Surgeons despise hospital bummers and face tough judgments when diagnosing and proving fraud.
The article compares Victor Hugo's devilfish nightmare with sightings of giant squid and octopus behavior. It describes long tentacles wrapping nets, attacking boats, and the danger to sailors, along with notes on how cephalopods propel themselves and the myth of sea serpents. It also recalls Bullen’s cruiser tale and a few unrelated hospital anecdotes.
Henry Jenkins, who died on December 8, 1670, was said to have lived 169 years. If true, he would have been born near the end of the Wars of the Roses and eight years old when Henry VII died, witnessing the era’s struggles.
An amusing Short Stories moral recalls a church dedication where a stranger preacher solicited funds. Collectors announced subscriptions, then a misworded line read five Black children, one dollar. He corrected to five little colored people, one dollar, causing lighthearted laughter as donors were revealed to be white children named Black.
During a recent trip in German East Africa Prof Koch conducted a disturbing test in which four natives held a calf as he inoculated it with malaria germs. When the calf kicked the natives cried out and fled to trees in fear, while the experiment drew attention to the brutal methods used in early colonial research.
A California court declares Lucy, an Indian, legally married to miner John R. Hite and awards her $50 monthly alimony plus $4,000 in fees for her lawyers. The decision questions Hite’s later marriage to a nurse and opens the door to a share of his wealth, with possible further court action on community property. The lengthy case, begun in Mariposa and moved to San Francisco, drew national attention for its unusual allege and dramatic courtroom clashes.
A Baltimore Sun article describes a tour of English cathedral towns to study boys voices and choir methods. The writer notes Oxford and Canterbury choirs as strong, St Pauls London exemplary, Kings Cambridge and Magdalen Oxford among best, while German choirs he heard were weak and Magdeburg notably poor.
A London visitor in a West End restaurant complained that his order was poorly prepared. He asked, Do you call that a real cutlet. The waiter apologized, claiming no insult was meant, while struggling to respond to the exchange.
A fragment cites Sopwith Lombardo claiming no difference between genius and madness while a quip from Waggie notes madness gets three meals a day, attributed to Life. The text appears as a clipped quotation with no additional context or identifiable events.
France relies on England for Transvaal war news due to cable control and contemplates a vast expenditure to free herself. The piece likens this to dyspepsia sufferers spending big to find relief, recommending Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as a cure for dyspepsia constipation and biliousness.
A humorous dialogue fragment plays on wordplay about marriage and last words. Singleton claims he has no wife while Wecerly notes the odd exchange. The Chicago News cartoon showcases playful banter over relationships and language.
An excerpt extols the ill effects of poor health and fatigue, attributing most blood disorders to impaired blood quality. Hinting at Hood’s Sarsaparilla as a corrective, the piece urges readers to trust the remedy as a natural blood tonic.
A New York father advises his eighteen year old daughter to win the coachman and elope. The girl retorts that newspapers would label her a fasc inating beauty but the real aim is to boost her father’s credit as the daughter of a millionaire.
Appeals for aid to spread word of Swanson Rheumatic Cure 5-Drops. Claims to conquer rheumatism and many ailments with trial bottles 25 cents and larger bottles 200 doses for $1.00, plus six bottles for $5.00. Invites writing to Swanson Rheumatic Cure Co at 164 Lake St, Chicago, Ill.
A humorous exchange as a husband asks his wife not to tidy the house before his trip to the lane, noting the cost of telegraphing every time he needs to locate something. The jest highlights domestic quirks and comic restraint in daily tasks.
A weekly patent notice lists insued patents from Northwestern inventors including John Chial of Lake Park Minnesota straw stacker. John K. Christy of Minneapolis Minnesota shafting. David M. Houston of Hunter North Dakota magazine camera. Mike M. Jerdee of Dawson Minnesota harrow tooth. Chauncey B.K. Richardson of Duluth Minnesota seal lock. Herbrand O. Simle of Manuel North Dakota bill coupling. George Wetherby of Duluth Minnesota apparatus for boring and disintegrating earthy matter. Merwin Lothrop & Johnson patent attorneys.
Classified card notes Dr J H Rindlaub, specialist in eye, ear, nose and throat, located in Fargo North Dakota. Unclear text repeats the name and specialty.
Hortense Pottgieser defies her husband in a sharp exchange about confessing fault. He retorts with a forceful claim that he will not admit being wrong, prompting her to tremble before his displayed grasp of feminine nature.
An appeal offers one hundred dollars for the capture of a catacrn of Caerrs that cannot be cured by Hall's Pouce. Cheney & Co guarantee the honesty of the offer and promise financial ability to fulfill the obligation within a year. The notice is informal and contains numerous spelling errors.
Dialogue fragment shows Mrs Jingso and Jingso discussing a man named Roberts of Utah. Phrases suggest characters debating sanity and a controversial mating remark. No clear event dates or outcomes.
Important reminder to examine every bottle of Castoria for infants and children. Ensure it is safe and a genuine remedy with the signature of the supplier or manufacturer.
A Chicago News item recalls a quirky customer exchange in a bake shop. A new boy promises “nice pound loaves” that actually weigh only ten ounces, highlighting playful misnaming and consumer expectations in a small business moment.
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