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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Dec 22, 1899
Page
2
A compact column from Linton ND presents witty maxims on truth, money, love, and society. It notes the rising beef prices as a humorous cue, cites a Chicago sculptress and portrait painter pair, and touches on public service criticism by Gov Roosevelt. A dispatch reports Britain negotiating Delagoa Bay possession, with potential impacts on Transvaal and Portugal pricing.
The text argues that public burden rules treat single men as if their property value is higher by 200, reflecting a 25 percent add on the assessed value. It suggests the Kansas law taxes bachelors not to grant a privilege but to discourage bachelorhood, using the family as the state's foundation as justification.
Portland reports show salmon buyers turning away orders as coastal packs shrink. Columbia River catch to date is about 195000 cases, the smallest in twenty years. Frazer River totals under 75000 versus 245000 last year. Puget Sound may equal 1898 output of 450000. Rivers’ inlet seen 25 to 80 percent under last season. Overall 1899 coast pack around 2,000,000 cases including Alaska.
Since their opening in Chicago, 9,556 people have applied for jobs and 058 have sought labor of eight kinds. The figures indicate the bureaus meet a need and reflect the impact of the new law.
The renowned soprano Hor velina Patti Baroness Cederstrom will not visit America this year. Critics note her farewell tours were once a staple of the operatic stage, while some observers mock the decision as cruel. A separate science aside notes that steady water drips can wear through a two inch board in thirty five years, a fact likely to be cited by anti prohibition advocates against water as a beverage.
The market quoted six bananas for 20 dollars while gold bricks remained affordable for farmers. Prompt police action yielded a sizable rebate on the banana transaction.
A Washington correspondent notes Boer threats to blow up mining pumping works at the Witwatersrand in the Transvaal. If pumping machinery is destroyed, mines flood and become useless, forcing costly reoperations. The Rand reef holds vast British investments and tens of thousands of workers. Destruction would wreck wealth of widows and orphans, with long-term economic consequences.
A fragment notes that in Russia a girl may not attend any university until she is married, reflecting etiquette that restricts female education by marriage status. The text ends mid-sentence, leaving the broader context and outcome unclear.
A mix of geology and Boer era notes describes a Conglomerate gold reef once a sea beach yielding cyanide-extractable gold at six dollars per ton. The piece intertwines Transvaal mining, Boers’ peaceful aims, and a tale of bridge demolition with a dialog about General Blucher and a dinner with the Duke of Wellington.
The late czarowitch of Russia left a widow and family. His imperial highness was morganatically married to a beautiful young girl, who before her.
A bride dies of gas asphyxia two days after Aug 14 wedding to Adolph Pohlmann an electrician aboard the North German Lloyd steamer Willehad. Two days later Pohlmann dies after falling down a hatchway on the same voyage. he is buried at sea.
An Ellsworth man refused to pay for two hens killed by his prized dog. While proving the dog’s innocence, the animal killed four more hens before the owner paid for six. The incident, reported by Ban gor Commercial, highlights the risks of misplaced trust in a dog.
The Polyphemus, a singular British warship, is a long steel tube hidden underwater with a deck barely four feet above sea. It has no masts or sails and serves as a ram and torpedo boat, marking a noted departure in naval design.
The article notes claims that brown bread originated with Indians and conjectures that Boston bakers created it about 150 years ago, while Plymouth Pilgrims may have adopted baked beans from Native Americans soon after their landing.
A brief fragment shows a couple debating their anniversary date. She recalls a long-ago mistake about the day while he confirms their wedding date as the 20th. The exchange echoes a humorous misreading of marriage timelines in a Detroit Free article.
In Philipopolis a merchant carrier rests in his wagon amid heavy goods and a busy fair scene. Turkish, Huns, Greeks, and Bulgarians mingle in a street life of markets and hill settlements with colorful costumes. Carriages pass by as bands play and lights glow over the hillside homes at dusk.
A humorous old guide offers button sewing methods emphasizing patience and odd tricks. It dismisses traditional threading and proposes a corkscrew method to pass cotton through the button, promising a week of hold with practical cautions about needle breakage and misaligned buttonholes.
The opening of Ekaterininsk by Grand Duke Vladimir marks a new era for Russia with a yearround Atlantic seaport. This allows the northern fleet to operate freely in the Atlantic, avoiding Baltic ice confinement in winter. The Baltic—narrow entrance and fortifications—could be blocked by Sweden and Germany, while Britain would likely blockade the outlet in war.
Schweinfurth reports an African insect organ builder in Shillocks country where acacia groves span about a hundred square miles. Insects swell ivory shoots with globular bladders an inch wide after entry. The hollow shoots echo flute like sounds as winds pass, earning the locals the name whistling tree in the Soudan Cave.
Kansas has the highest proportion of pensioners relative to its population and pays out more on average than any other state. The data suggest a generous state program delivering larger benefits to retirees compared with peers nationwide.
A New Orleans Times-Democrat story recalls an old caterer who bragged of a chair rigged with insulated wire. A tramp offered to fix it for five dollars, causing patrons to beware sitting down. One fat man finally sat and fled as the chair shocked him. The bar kept the chair and the prank persisted as a local legend.
The Pittsburg Dispatch reports a satirical scientific forecast that feminine wigs may replace real hair due to past fashions damaging hair vitality. The piece urges women to preserve their own hair while acknowledging wigs could become fashionable if trends demand it.
Two men stretched seventy five square yards of nearly invisible netting below the Grand Street reservoir in Patterson New Jersey to catch sparrows at dawn. In two hours they trapped 125 birds and planned to ship them to New York as reed birds. Netting was made by two Frenchmen who train others to use it, and the trade is spreading locally.
A compilation traces marriages of famous men to country women. Burns wed a farm girl after field labor, Milton’s union with a country squire’s daughter was short, and they split. Victoria and Albert were cousins with sincere vows. Shakespeare married a farmer’s daughter. Washington wed a woman with two children.
A light exchange between a proud woman and her self aware daughter. The daughter claims the groom will marry into her family, flipping the expected dynamic. The line showcases witty satire and social pretense in a brief comic moment.
In a brief dialogue from a New York World piece, Ella declares that a woman's husband is a treasure while Stella questions the danger of storing treasure in heaven, implying a moral or social critique in a curt exchange.
Scientists declare black letters on white backgrounds cause the most eye strain. Russian explorers continue work on lesser known parts of 81, pursuing new optical research amid ongoing studies.
A witty remark from the Indianapolis Journal notes that both try and science share kinship through piling up phrases that many cannot understand. The exchange emphasizes the difficulty of translating effort into clear comprehension.
A fragment mentions the West Indian Hurricane moving up the coast and behaving unusually compared with other storms. It also compares this to dyspepsia that resists common treatments. It urges taking Hostetter's Bitters, claiming it has cured stomach trouble for half a century.
A Philadelphia Times note extols tissue paper as a packing aid. It claims placing folds to protect gown folds cuts crease risk by half and stuffing sleeves and blouse fronts reduces crumpled looks after short trunk stays.
A brief reflection contrasts silence with knowledge and notes that history reveals the circulation of the blood. It then shifts to a promotional ad claiming Hood's Sarsaparilla is the best blood medicine, implied as the reason the public learns of it.
A hustler posing as a businesslike preacher counsels a groom to buy life insurance for his bride soon after a wedding. He claims to represent a strong company and gathers the young husband’s application, stressing a thorough finish to the job.
An advertisement promotes Allen's Foot-Ease as the only cure for swollen smarting burning and sweating feet bunions and coins. It advises shaking the powder into shoes and lists 25 cents as the price with free samples and the address Allen 8 Olmsted LeRoy New York.
Rudyard Kipling recounts a tale from his London study where a sudden visitor arrives with two schoolboys. The gentleman asks if Kipling is present and introduces the writer as the author, then the trio departs, leaving Kipling to ponder literary London’s quirky habits.
A Chicago News blurb lists Dr J H Rindlaub of Fargo North Dakota as a specialist in eye ear nose and throat. It cites a humorous wartime line about marines landing and peppering salts as the commander eats a banana.
A severe electrical storm in Little Rock Arkansas swept through the area killing an estimated two million English sparrows. Birds sought shelter in trees. after the storm their corpses blanketed the ground and caused a foul stench as burial work began.
The Chicago Matron is mocked as they revile Chicago while the speaker notes seven weddings in response. This brief exchange reflects satirical commentary on weddings and urban rivalries sourced from the Philadelphia North American.
A fragment cites a playful exchange about policemen in a kitchen last night. The speakers, Mistress-Bridget and Cook-Yisy, mention a supernumerary learning the beat, creating a curious domestic scene with implied investigation or observation.
A playful exchange quoted from the New York Press contrasts family plans with a stubborn line about choices. A mother’s visit is mentioned alongside a dictum that no man can serve two masters, using a rustic metaphor about an oak.
A garbled column blends medical claims and quotes from Bacon Justinian Bulwer and Bulwer about addiction dignity justice and pawnbroking. It mentions Mrs. Daldwin Box 1712 Chicas Illinois and vague ideas on cures and moral reflections without clear events or dates.
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