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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Dec 16, 1898
Page
3
An advertisement touts Hood's Sarsaparilla as the great strength giving medicine that restores vitality by nourishing the blood. It claims to cure weak nerves scrofula catarrh and all diseases from impure blood and markets Hood's Pills for indigestion at 25 cents.
A Peak Island man recalls Tom Reed as a swimmer who could float to beat three of a kind, noting he could not be sunk yet outshone others. The observer suggests Reed’s prowess foreshadowed his later achievements as a boy.
A list of inventors and items includes Wilhelm Aab of New Ulm Minnesota with a cloth wringer Julius D Brainerd of Paul Minnesota with a currycomb Horace Breeden of Minneapolis with a duplex pen Torger Hetland of Minneapolis with a machine for composing printed matter Caroline Louis of Pine City with a wash boiler Benjamin Strange of Corvallis Montana with a stock yard gate Minneapolis Plow Works of Minneapolis with a plow Merwin Loth Johnson patent attorneys at 910 Pioneer’s Press Building St Paul.
A debate features the Oppressed Benevolent Party and a blind man as Mr Edison’s electrical cures are challenged. The blind man laments that inventions drive some out of business, while optimists hope for a cure.
The exchange shows Mrs Watts praising brevity of a lecture, while Watts quips that its brevity was at the wrong end asking why it did not begin an hour sooner. The Indianapolis Journal records the witty remark as a light moment.
Prevent hog cholera by proper digestion and feeding cooked feed. Readers are advised to contact Empire Mfg Co at 20 Hampshire St Quincy Ill for a free cooker catalogue. Cookers save feed, keep stock healthy, and pay for themselves in a week.
Dialogue reveals a father-in-law’s stern yet composed remark after accepting his child’s marriage against his initial opposition. The son-in-law remains steady, acknowledging his respect would have faltered had he yielded.
Quack ad touts No-To as a miracle cure to quit tobacco effortlessly. Claims boost in energy and vigor for weak men with a free booklet and sample offer from Remedy Up in Chicago or New York.
Mrs Fillanthrop asks about remedies for nervous prostration and the man replies he is taking the rest cure, illustrating a terse hospital or medical anecdote from a Chicago Tribune column.
A quirky exchange frames idle chatter about crank hangers and a bicycle catalogue. A nautical proverb about ships follows, then an 1870s advertising line for Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup notes teething aid and price, ending with a witticism about spending.
A Chicago News quip notes that some claim lifelong abstinence from drinking smoking or late nights leads to long life. The ad style line promotes Cascarets Cand. Caspertie Inc or IC CC as a cure with druggists selling for money.
The Milwaukee Sentinel notes General Arthur MacArthur, famed as the boy colonel who commanded the 24th Wisconsin from 1862, earned his soldiers’ respect with impulsive yet decisive acts. At Kenesaw and Missionary Ridge he led daring charges, retrieved wounded comrades, and earned a major’s rank before turning nineteen, culminating in a heroic action at Franklin where he is said to have fallen among many.
General Stanley cites the 24th Wisconsin’s decisive role in the Franklin campaign. He credits Arthur MacArthur’s leadership as pivotal, noting the regiment’s parade on the battlefield and its evident contribution to saving the engagement.
A St. Louis Post-Dispatch summary argues tea can injure the nervous system when habitually used in large quantities. It cites experts noting tea worsens digestion, may alter kidney excretions, and provides stimulation rather than nutrition, with tea plus toast offering little real nourishment.
The cough or puff of a railway engine results from abrupt waste steam emission up the chimney. At slow speeds puffs are distinct, while higher speeds blur them into rapid sequences. At seventy mph a locomotive emits about twenty puffs per second, ten per cylinder.
The Spectator examines how flexible Irish notions of kinship are through a tale where a peasant is asked if he knows Pat Meehan and replies yes, describing him as a near relation who once proposed to the speaker’s sister Kate.
A humorous verse by M D Follansbee reflecting a transition from late nights and indulgence to early rising and sober work life. The speaker notes shunning alcohol, increased religious restraint, and a modest five dollar weekly pay while embracing a steadier routine.
An office boy asks to leave at noon to watch a baseball game. The employer responds with sarcasm asking if his last relative has died, highlighting a humorous clash over a request to take the afternoon off.
The librettist Gilbert chides pianist Liebling for vanity and extreme perspiration after hearing famous pianists Liszt Hertz and Paderewski. Liebling defers, bowing in acknowledgement, then is told none of them perspired as profusely as you do. St. Louis Star report.
A playful exchange shows the young king of Spain lamenting that his fate hinges on his name. He quips that had he been christened Dennis or another old name, he would not bear the epithet the Thirteenth, implying a superstition about royal numbering. His mother asks why, and he answers with a dry, humorous line.
In a lingering wartime exchange, Mrs Fripley Ah laments the terrible cost of war while Mrs Nibson suggests worse outcomes, noting wounded men in hospitals and downplaying losses with a remark about summer opera performances kept at home.
Quote from New York Evening Journal contrasts Austin and Haverly with a joke about a marriage to a telephone girl. It references a central form of government in the context of a political debate.
A collection of brief children’s vignettes with dialogue on school, learning, manners, and mischief. Freddie wants to watch a comet, Mabell quits school, a teacher’s math puzzle confuses Tommy, Minnie notes that all days are numbered, a cousin laments Sunday clothes, and Tommy tries to evade cake rules with his grandmother.
A Washington Star quote records a Spanish official proposing an import duty on all Spanish prisoners landed at ports, noting Americans' patient temperament and suggesting a tax as a funding option amid discussions.
A brief exchange centers on a man named Berkley described as singular. The speaker notes Berkley has not claimed would go to Cuba or Porto Rico to seek fortune if he were single, highlighting his unconventional stance compared with others.
In a witty exchange, a person asks about a literary path. The reply sketches a life of chasing borrowed books and sharing them widely among friends and neighbors.
Everyone wondered why Professor Dauber wore a long pointed beard but could not imagine how he obtained such satisfactory results at the New York Ledger.
The largest painting in the world excluding panoramas measures eighty four by thirty four feet. Tintoretto created this grand work housed in the doge's palace at Venice.
A fragment from the Chronicle Telegraph features a dialogue about thoughts between a thinker and a wife, with a muddy pun and bargaining example between Moses Levi and others. The text shows playful expatriate dialogue and humor.
A San Francisco note recalls a wedding where an usher teases the groom about marriage. The groom replies that the courtship ended quickly to avoid bankruptcy, turning a joking exchange into a pointed contrast of prudence and affection.
In a snippet from the Indianapolis Journal, Wickwire laments the ship name The American Girl as tame and suggests The Hired Girl would better convey destruction and desolation, reflecting a critic's view on naval naming.
The notice touts a "Gold Seal" sticker as a mark of quality for products from Goodyear Rubber Co located at 98-100-102 East Seventh Street in St. Paul. It urges customers to insist on the seal and to send for manufacturer supplies if local dealers lack them.
A Washington Star remark depicts Mrs. Torkins asking if her husband remains tied to war, while a colleague notes his mind is preoccupied with baseball team standings, often unsure whether the Boston Braves or Cincinnati Reds lead.
The advertisement asserts Hall's Catarrh Cure cures catarrh by acting on the blood and mucous surfaces. Proprietors pledge one hundred dollars for any case it fails to cure and invite readers to send for testimonials from Toledo Ohio makers F J Cheney & Co.
A Chicago Record quip shows a speaker confessing no money but fearing a generous offer to lend ten dollars, revealing social humor about charity and pride.
Judy asks Mr Araye to paint a portrait for her but he declines saying it is impossible. The note references Lady Astor described in harsh terms and mentions ancient, ugly and fat.
A fragmented dialogue exchange notes a dramatic interview where a male speaker vows to endure perdition for a beloved, and a female responds with a call back to advice from her father. The snippet also recalls a quip about heat and an old question.
A Chicago News item notes a boy doubting his mother’s claim that whipping hurts her more than it harms him, reflecting a moment of child misgiving and parental discipline in daily life.
An old newspaper ad promotes No-To-Bao as a guaranteed tobacco habit cure for fifty cents. Claims include making men strong and blood pure with the product sold at 81 druggists.
A Carrollton Kentucky Democrat report describes Butler Taylors farm where bantams hatch quail and quails imprint on bantam mothers. The contrasting brood behavior appears wild in the yard yet orderly in the coop as observed by locals.
A Chicago Tribune snippet notes a job applicant challenged as not strong enough for police work. He cites ten years ringing parish church bells as his experience, turning the question into a humorous defense.
An old advertisement touts Cascarets as a blood cleanser and liver stimulant. It promises clearer skin by banishing pimples boils blotches and a bilious complexion and notes the product is available from all druggists with 10 cents price and guaranteed satisfaction.
The page features brief quips on sleep talking and marriage with urban wit. Brown and Jones exchange lines about who does the talking in sleep and at home, followed by a Denver health ad and assorted jokes about beer and stubbornness.
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