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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Aug 25, 1899
Page
2
A collection of humorous observations and brief notes from the Emmons Co. Record. Items include quips about poets, equality, politics, and society, plus a report on New York vacation schools and a law for Illinois vacation schools. The tone is light and editorial, reflecting local maritime and cultural humor of the era.
A Havana University professor earning six thousand dollars yearly lived in Spain for seventeen years while a substitute filled his Cuban duties for a fraction of pay. Readers say most professors there farm out chairs. A U S decree ends the practice, guaranteeing salaries only to those who earn them.
A rich young woman answered a personal ad in a city paper, married a clever adventurer, mortgaged her property, was deserted, and died in a Connecticut poorhouse. The piece cautions that seeking friendship through ads can lead to moral disaster, while noting a girl who escapes with a scar.
An observer mocks the Belgian chamber of deputies after a fist fight injures several members. He suggests learning from France and proposes duels as a method to avoid further injuries.
Parson Jeffries claims divine favor over finances but Bob departed with the gate receipts from the Dig end. The dispute centers on who benefited from the bout’s takings and the final accounting of proceeds.
A northwestern railroad fined $100 for failing to properly water and feed stock entrusted to its care. The case, noted as novel and unique, claims that both corporations and individuals water their stock too much.
In Havana public chatter centers on quarantining against New Orleans as authorities push improved sanitary measures. The debate reflects concern over disease spread and the city’s health reforms amid rising civic awareness.
A foreign count faced no engagement scandal while the column highlights fashion items for young girls. The piece discusses the maidenly style, including the Pompadour influence and dresses for little girls.
A narrator recalls a crowded town at twilight and longs for a departed friend. The memory grows vivid as storms approach while the speaker senses a fading presence and a grave silence behind the dynamic street life. The poem ends with a blessing from the friend as life departs.
The passage describes women adopting elaborate hairstyles with back hair crimped and rolled into a crown, using hair rolls as decorative pincushions for accessories. Daytime looks favor small gold wreaths, while night displays feature glittering, bold hair ornaments on fluffy, lack hair.
The passage outlines a grand Elizabethan feast with courses starting from wheaten flummery and broths, moving to fish dishes including porpoise, then various puddings, followed by meats such as veal and mutton, desserts like creams and cheesecakes, and concluding with ale wine and mead infused with many herbs.
The article profiles Count Marie Liewen Stierngranat, son of the Swedish king’s chamberlain, now jailed in New York City on a breach of promise charge from a wealthy American woman. It portrays him as a noble foreigner seeking a bride and fortune in America.
A coquettish little frock for girls features in a cheerful display. The item highlights style details and suitable fabrics for afternoon wear. Local retailers advertise the dress as a charming addition to a young wardrobe.
Two weeks ago Count, an engaging 27 year old, was arrested at Miss Lesbia M. Boswick’s suit for failing to marry after engagement. He claimed engagement rights but faces jail after unable to post 500 dollars bail. His father, a wealthy Scandinavian leader, could influence heavy penalties.
The piece critiques modern women’s hairstyles echoing late 18th century pompadours created by blow and puff methods. It describes a turquoise gauze afternoon outfit with a turquoise bonnet and lace trims, and adds a dubious punch recipe and lemon oil extraction tip.
A dusty wooden block with square wood keys is the first typewriter, made in 1876 by R. T. P. Allen of Farmdale Kentucky. It predates modern models yet contains the essential features of today’s typewriters and is preserved in the United States Patent Office in Washington.
An Engineering Magazine writer argues gas engines operating on fuel gas offer clear economic gains over steam across power ranges though efficiency advantage shrinks at high power. Experts expect large engines to become common as experience grows and demand rises, possibly within a decade.
An inventor from Bladensburg Ohio pitches a cup shaped horse shade that fits tight to the head. In warm weather a damp sponge can be placed inside for cooling while in cold weather it shields the animal from wet and cold. Slotted bottom feet allow instant adjustment to any harness without straps or buckles.
A western railway mechanical engineer proposes an attachment to keep locomotive headlights aligned with the track on curves. The device uses a turntable, pulleys, and a small double-acting air cylinder controlled from the cab to rotate the light as needed.
A headlight system is described that engages bearings on two quarters as it moves up an incline. The purpose is to return the headlight to its normal position automatically when air pressure is released.
The Fitzgerald machine battery gun, rated at eight shots per second, is praised by the Admiralty and Horse Guards' Gazette as a success after 800 rounds, with barrels remaining cool. It features two tiers of four barrels each, weighs 150 pounds, and is mounted for quick elevation or depression.
Levi A. Stevenson of Gaylord Michigan has invented a nose gauge for glasses that uses hinged caliper legs with offset ends and nose clamps. The device measures the nose angles with gauge bars above the center so glasses can be accurately fitted before trial.
Descriptions of the Trinidad lake of liquid asphaltum note its ten acre area and uneven rise, with a semi liquid center and a crusty crust toward the edges. About 80 000 to 90 000 tons of asphaltum are removed each year while the supply remains undiminished.
The article credits tax paying women for passing a city tax to fund sewerage drainage and water improvements. Led by Misses Kate M and Jeannie Gordon, women organized voting proxies and ensured ballots were cast properly, with praise for their decisive role in securing public health measures.
A humorous fragment from the Atlanta Constitution catalogues jokes and ironic quips about spring and affection. It contrasts bright birds and frost with a warned restraint on praise and romantic indulgence.
A fragment from Lustige Blaetter shows a conversation about income and marriage. She asks if income is enough, he questions expensive fads, and she replies with a pointed exchange about desires and social expectations.
A dialogue reveals Fraheman claiming confidences shared during a voyage to Europe. The exchange questions why secrets would be kept by a first ocean voyage participant and whether trust can survive such disclosures.
Amusing snippets show barbers and grocers trading sly jests about pneumonia retirement and borrowed scales. A dinner guest’s wit unsettles a host, while a London street exchange wit and regret capture light, brisk humor from Harper’s Bazar and London Fun.
A clipped quip from the Philadelphia North American asks why the iceman Daily follows his trail and ponders if he could mail a dainty bite. The piece contrasts relief, fear, and sensational lines from the New York Weekly and a seasick passenger’s hopeful exclamation.
The note records a quick exchange where Bootblack-Bay lent a box to prop a deck and a person borrowed five dollars. The dialogue shows acknowledgment of the borrow and a casual praise of the borrower as a pretty good fellow.
A humorous Brooklyn Life item notes a couples quarrel over a new suit. Jepson asks how the wife likes it while Harveys jokes she disliked it and he confesses the bargain purchase was made at a bar gain sale. The quip highlights domestic wit and bartering humor.
An old advertisement touts Hos tetter's Stomach Bitters as essential for beauty and health. It links strong digestion to look and vigor, asserts many have regained health, and notes a revenue stamp on the bottle neck. It also says an orator needs repeated applause to rise in fame.
Northwestern inventors are listed with patents granted last week. Names include Walter C. Cunningham St Paul Minnesota tobacco pipe Edward Groven Bagley Minnesota straw stacker Robert Hearns St Paul Minnesota detachable car fender Peter O Lutes Wahpeton North Carolina windmill Oscar E Newquist Carlton Minnesota fence post Adam Rels Georgetown Minnesota weed seed destroyer August Schuch Hector Minnesota vehicle wheel Eugene Stough Sioux Falls South Dakota mold for composition rollers Warren 8 Wilde Scoville North Dakota body for buggies or carriages Merwin Lothrop Johnson Patent Attorneys 910 Pioneer Press Bldg St Paul
An old ad touts Allen's Foot-Ease powder to ease tight new shoes and cure corns bunions and sweaty feet. It claims easy relief, lists price at 25 cents and notes samples sent to Fred Allen of Olmsted LeRoy New York.
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