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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Apr 07, 1899
Page
3
A brief exchange between the king, prime minister, and a page unfolds as the page admits a remiss duty and the king contemplates bringing him to book. The page laughs at the noble jest, while the king's heart softens at the page's witty restraint.
An obscure ad fragment promotes German Coffee Berry seeds and Salzer products with a cut out coupon for small pie packages priced at 1c or 3c plus a free logue. It mentions a JOHN A. GALEER SHED CO address in La Crosse Wisconsin and includes a stray note about a poem and the Fid diesticks Magazine.
Fragment from a Philadelphia North American note on car capacity jokes and a German quote mix, plus a Cincinnati warning: city authorities poised against pool sellers in a potential clash.
A. T. Goodwyn of Alabama writes praising Pe-ru-na from Columbus Ohio. He reports using two bottles and feeling improved within a week from catarrh and urges readers that a universal remedy has been found and tested, asserting its power to save the country by protecting people from disease.
In a secluded East River cabin, an artist named Kennedy uses an Italian model Carlo for a grim scene of torture. He narrates a murder tale of Teresa and Filippo, then kinetically paints the victim’s death, destroys the canvas, and vanishes with the finished deadly image.
A historical essay explains why Chinese firecrackers symbolize more than celebration. It links beliefs about tenacity and the cue braid to the journey to paradise, and notes early crackers bore inscriptions claiming they scared away devils rather than mark American independence.
A December 24 Serpentine swimming handicap faced ice on the usual course. For the club’s 34th and lifetimes, the race started from the east, with B Harrison, a Cambridge freshman, winning after a 29 second head start. The event drew a small crowd due to the early hour and date. Plane practice tale features Leschetizky and six dried peas as a memory aid.
A London bookseller recalls an encounter with Sarah Bernhardt who, after a language hiccup, used a bound volume of Scott to quickly write a pass for two to her performances that evening. She tore out the leaf and handed it to the astonished shopkeeper with a smile.
Diver Hooper performed seven descents to depths over 200 feet to salvage Cape Horn cargo wrecked off South America. He stayed underwater for forty two minutes at one point. Authorities note greatest known depth does not exceed 220 feet, about 88 12 pounds per square inch.
A collection of quips on women and men including lines about moods, dinners, and the paradoxes of female fashion. Notable notes compare a girl's trousseau to truth in face and quantity, and liken explanations to a tadpole's tail. A cheeky no New York Press critique closes with a jab at wise men.
A Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph style tale describes an elopement scene where Algernon and a frightened girl flee in a car. The pursuer, her father, gains only a distant horn blast as Algernon reveals the car’s storage battery will run out in about a mile.
In Paris and other large towns in France female bootblacks are increasing in number. They wear a garb not unlike that of Sisters of Mercy, making their appearance neat and attractive. Some attend their work with gloved hands.
A brief note extols honey as a safe long term sweet with high food value, claims it aids respiratory health versus nonusers, and notes a bee colony’s life yields about one pound of honey per worker. Beeswax is indigestible and not part of honey’s value.
The New York World recounts a transportation scene where a passenger and an official dispute the schedule. The official explains the timetable for starting the service and then proceeds to begin the operation, highlighting a comical miscommunication about when it “starts to start.”
Farmers urged to mail photo of their farm with name, farm description, location, and return address to North Dakota Newspaper Union in Fargo. Submissions invited for a special North Dakota Edition to illustrate the issue.
A collage of old medical ads and quotes including Cascarets for bowel and kidney action, a Poe-like musings line about rogues, and a Furman entry. Also includes testimonials for Dr. Kilgore and Piso’s Cure, plus a Cowper quotation about idleness.
Why ships are not struck by lightning is explained by the widespread use of wire rope for rigging and by iron or steel hulls. The ship acts as a continuous conductor, guiding electricity into the ocean before it can cause damage.
In a Chicago News item a man reportedly married his typewriter to save salary costs. He now pays a man $10 weekly more than a competent young woman would earn for similar work, because his wife objects to the arrangement.
A quip from the Cleveland Plain Dealer contrasts Billson as a tender hearted fellow who even comforts a thermometer with a hot-water bottle. The piece then notes a wife should not expect a light mood from a husband if her biscuits are heavy.
Patents issued to John K. Daniels St. Paul and others in Minnesota include a monkey wrench a railway spike a shifting mule pulley dredging apparatus a corn planter curbing for flower beds apparatus for placer mining molasses candies and more. Names span John R. Kunselman Adel bert G. Lawrence Alexander McDougall Horace N. Randall Peter Schaefer George Wetherby and George 8 Couch with patent attorneys Merwin Lothrop Johnson. Also noted are Baltimore and Ohio Rail Road orders and various car purchases by receivers.
Alabastine is advertised as the original durable wall coating, distinct from Kalsemine partitions. It is sold ready for use in white or twelve tinted colors by adding cold water. Packaged in five pound dry powder with full directions. claimed simple application suitable for home use.
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