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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Dixon Sun
Location
Dixon, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Jul 03, 1889
Page
8
A ponderous essay extols old age as a source of patience and virtue. It argues that happiness endures with age, envy fades, and the elderly gain Nirvana-like peace. The piece cites Miss Thackeray and classic wits, contrasting youth and wisdom while praising disinterested joy in others.
A survey of famed puns from John Hill Burton and legal court lore to Cambridge wit and imperial jests. It catalogs examples including a bailiff swallowing a writ and a court joke about a writ being not returnable, along with several historical quips and the claim that Drake caused the Spanish fly pun.
A foreign secretary in Washington caused an uproar by mispronouncing words and requesting two bees and then two keys. The incident ended with a prudent household warning and a correction found in the host's journal margin.
A Toronto Globe tale describes a man using a tuning fork to lure a large spider across its web. He taps a thread, traces the sound over wires, and finally leaps onto the fork, finding the sound delightful rather than a buzzing fly.
The Proprietor and Wife urge John to visit Coffee & Co to scold them over a postal order for groceries two days overdue. John agrees to see Mr. Coffee and resolve the delay, carrying the order and asking for early delivery.
A 1752 case reported by the Lewisian Journal notes Ann Conner died by her own hand in Brunswick. She was buried at the meeting point of four roads with a stake driven through her body, claimed as the only execution of that old law in the country.
A painter and a foodie share a refined taste. A dog, like a horse tied too long, will bark at a tree, signaling restraint and scent of humor in daily life.
The Buffalo Express notes Hood's Sarsaparilla has issued vast literature including cook books parlor games and candy guides. It claims 65 million pieces yearly across the United States and argues merit drives sales and testimonials prove benefits while advertising spreads the fame of the medicine.
A suburban Roxbury resident questions a newly imported Irish domestic about where she bought a dress. The girl insists it was at Push & Pull's on Washington Street, though the mistress doubts the firm's existence in Boston. The servant is confident, claiming the door said Push & Pull's.
A grand travel scene notes many travelers braving vast continents and rough conditions. The piece credits Hostetter's Stomach Ritters as the supreme medicinal defense warding off brackish water, bad food, seasickness, and nervousness, and aiding dyspepsia, fatigue, constipation, malaria, rheumatism, and kidney issues.
Dudely complains shoes are too tight. Durely urges removal, but Dudely philosophically resists. He notes the footwear eases misery, offering a sly, humorous take on coping with troubles. Published in the Cincinnati Commercial.
An assortment of items includes an ad for Dr. Pierce medicines promising refunds if no benefit, a theater joke about a new comedy at Fashion Theater, advice to seek career help from B F Johnson & Co., and a claim from I L Craain Co about Dobbins Electric Soap underscoring honesty.
A brief recruitment notice touts Oregon as a paradise for farmers with mild climate and abundant crops. It invites readers to request full information from the Oregon Immigration Board in Portland, Oregon.
An 1850 advertisement extols Swift's Specific a vegetable compound from forest roots. It claims Creek Indians taught whites the cure for blood diseases and cites testimonials from Rogers Arkansas Cavanal Indian Territory and Richmond Virginia.
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