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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Sep 26, 1903
Page
1
An ancient tale recounts Megara under siege by Crete. Princess Scylla, moved by love and ambition, sacrifices the purple lock to aid Minos, flees the city, pleads for mercy, and is transformed into a bird as the fleet sails away, with an eagle watching for vengeance.
A theater visitor cites a Philadelphia tale where a party of western schoolteachers sees a boat labeled Psyche and jokes that it spells fish, recalling a fish dinner by the Delaware River. The remark appears in the New Orleans Times-Democrat.
The piece repeats witty jabs from Jerrold about Thackeray including digs at lectures a mug and a broken nose from school years. It notes Thackeray sponsoring a child and a remark on Romanization during tractarian times. A Chicago Tribune excerpt extols swimming as essential exercise for health and vitality.
A Barnum recounts a Baltimore game where Artie Latham charged near Tucker at home plate after a disputed call. Tucker scored on a misplayed ball while Latham claimed a bank robbery, derailing Barnum’s reputation in Baltimore as the Northampton bank robber. Trainers and jockeys exhibit similar superstition about places and luck, with riders carrying talismans and avoiding certain tracks as a rule.
A streetcar overheard exchange reports Uncle Daniel, eighty seven, married again. He has three widowed daughters Maria Rebecca Eliza to keep house, yet evaded their watchfulness to court. He explained in a letter that he decided to wed a third time because two wives had been good.
A local tale depicts a donkey entering a store and questioning the proprietor about advertising. The animal claims to have seen the shop’s ad on a fence near its pasture and implies the store should advertise in a broader paper read by more people. The feeble joke underscores a drive for better advertising.
A hoarded Indianapolis anecdote contrasts a prim spinster aunt with a bustling niece’s lunch. The spinster’s immaculate home contrasts with her brother’s lively brood, where a fly’s presence becomes a humorous tale. The piece highlights idealized housekeeping versus daily family life.
Mr Queercase jokes about rheumatism by describing it as a family burden carried by his brother. The tale exaggerates affliction to provoke sympathy as he recalls his brother’s night yelling, bed disruptions, and joint discomfort. The humor hinges on a secondary form of rheumatism described as energizing and petrifying to the narrator.
A critic observes that women laugh more discreetly than men, preserving their appearance and manners while enjoying humor. Feminine laughter is described as pleasant and musical, often heard across water and in the breeze, with few exceptions among men.
A playful tale describes Patrick the Irish lad answering a wire after instruction from Dr Blank. When a call comes in in the absence of the couple, Patrick asks who is there and replies It’s me, sor, leading to the line And who’s me. Shure, and how should I know, who yez are.
A Colorado mining camp tale notes an old negro named Uncle Bill who plans to travel but will halt halfway at a cousin’s village. He hesitates there, falls ill with pneumonia, and dies, illustrating the proverb.
Willie Wishington asks if writing poetry to a young woman is wise Miss Cayenne questions sentimental poetry He believes poetry might signal special affection if she does not laugh at it in the Washington Star excerpt
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