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Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Oct 31, 1903
Page
4
In a Fall River camp near sunset, a line of elk cross the river and approach our cameras. Antelopes join a mock cavalry charge as Leek struggles with a jammed plate holder and empty film, leaving the narrator lamenting a lost big buck and a failed shot.
Dottie, five, loves church hymns praising flowers and insects, while her mother doubts such songs exist. The exchange reveals a playful mishearing of religious text. The piece then describes a Japanese dentist who performs tooth extractions with fingers, starting from hollow pegs in soft wood to hard pegs in oak, in a lengthy process.
An authority traces the expression in apple pie or der to Puritan times. Aunty Hephzibah Morton supposedly baked two to three dozen pies each Saturday. She labeled them for each day to prevent mixing Tuesday and Thursday pies and to serve the week.
At a dinner Sir Andrew Clark enjoyed a dish the woman next to him could not eat because her physician forbade it. She revealed the physician was none other than Sir Andrew Clark, delivering a witty self reference to the medical magnate.
A London Tit-Bits tale recounts clergymen misstatements and comic typographical slips. Examples include singsing the benediction after doxology, bow not thine eye to a needle, and Behold the fig tree rendered as Behold the whig tree. The piece notes editors and printers laughing at careless types.
A New York society tale traces a self styled New Rich woman who opens a pretentious salon to gain entry to elite circles. Her prized possession is a brass embossed namo var style tea urn from Russia which she treats as a toy. She hosts a reception where guests stifle laughter as she proclaims loving tea from a reservoir and confuses tenure with a national term.
An Irishman traveling to England to seek work finds employment and wages. On his first payday he buys a dozen eggs and is charged a shilling, shocked that eggs cost sixpence in Ireland. He learns he must pay the higher price because he cannot buy with foreign money.
A vivid note describes the glass snake or pint snake a legless lizard common in southern woods. Striking it with a stick yields surprising fragments that are tail segments, so the reptile survives the breakage rather than dying from brittleness.
The Washington Star notes a chat about the weather where Algernon and a chaperon discuss rain and an umbrella. The pair linger about a Florida wedding trip as a hopeful escape from life’s storms.
A fragmentary exchange shows a housekeeper and Weary Willie arguing over lighting a fire. The woman directs him to chop wood, noting she mistook the gas stove for a stove and ends with a curt good day.
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