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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Nov 23, 1912
Page
4
Lord Sage and Sele heads one of England's oldest families known for dignity and exclusiveness. A dinner anecdote recalls a member declaring at table that she had married today, prompting a cold reaction from her mother as James the footman stood nearby.
The passage, citing Nidhikanda Sutta, says the true treasure is charity and piety not worldly wealth. It emphasizes temperance, self control, and good deeds as lasting riches that cannot be stolen. The wise should perform good deeds as the treasure follows.
A naval officer in uniform disrupted a wedding breakfast in a French seaport restaurant by presiding, singing, and speaking. Police arrested him as an escaped lunatic from a nearby asylum while guests remained calm. He joked that the bridegroom was the man to arrest.
An advance agent printed dates for a one night stand at the Jones Opera House as Grand Opera House. The manager refused the costly name change, offering to paint the sign to read Grand for three dollars total. The agent paid and left, story from the Indianapolis News.
A collage of humorous vignettes recalls Jules Janin famed for sharp wit and poor handwriting with a tale of a friend reading a letter by sight and a professor on horseback debating saddle direction. A Paris memorial tablet honors Janin for his critical mind and eccentric style.
Leveson Gower recounts a dinner with Spain's representative at the court of St James. A servant misplaces the letter bh turning ham into ambassador. Ed ward Yates and Corney Grain, among the party, burst into laughter at the mint as the guest remained unaware.
A constituent nicknamed Pat pressed Tom Taggart for funds during a campaign era. After promising sobriety in exchange for $2 to buy shoes, Pat accepted the money and later appeared sober. He soon returned drunk, demanding repayment, and Taggart declined, recalling the bargain as Pat mocked his own pledge with his old shoes.
A dignified maiden lady enters a dry goods store to buy hose. The bowlegged clerk guides her to the hosiery department and she protests that she cannot walk that way, insisting on an alternate path.
Otto Goritz, noted operatic baritone, visits a haberdashery seeking a flannel shirt but finds nothing to his liking. He asks the clerk what is under the shelf and resents the joke about underwear, exiting in high dudgeon. The tale closes with a quip about Gilbert and being an orphan.
A Chicago Examiner tale contrasts a central Kentucky banker who wears his derby in business hours with a wary railroad worker who fears keeping wages in a bank. It then shifts to Vivian Burnett, rumored muse for Little Lord Fauntleroy, and a Denver editor’s chase for a railroad president, aided by a witty card by Bill Smart that wins an interview.
Testimonial from Thomas P Towers of West Denton Illinois praising Doan's Kidney Pills for long standing kidney trouble. Ad claims lasting relief after two to three boxes and urges purchase from Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY as sole US agents. Remember the name Dean's and take no other.
An elderly Scotsman jailed for drunkenness receives a bucket of water with orders to clean his cell. Returning the next day he is astonished to find Sandy, naked, bathing. The warder gasps and asks what he’s doing. Sandy replies, Why not, didn’t ye say it was to clean me.
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