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This newspaper page contains 23 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Mar 04, 1911
Page
3
In a tense office scene Mr. Ord confronts clerk Smithers about missing L. D. bonds, suspects misplacement, and learns the bonds were used as a bookmark by Miss Fenn. A forged calm returns as a proposal arises and Dessie Fenn voices a planned engagement with a bold purple signature concluding the scene.
Henry Ord grows furious as securities vanish from his private box for the third time. Smithers, his chief clerk, denies knowledge while Ord contemplates a Sherlock Holmes style solution, using Doyle volumes for inspiration and a plaster clue.
West minster Gazette reports hallucinogenic effects from henbane roots with monks transforming their monastery into a lunatic asylum. Monks rang the bell at midnight and misread texts or saw letters move, with others believing words ran about like ants as flowers emitted poisonous vapors.
The Beaus and the Dandies author notes wigs rose in popularity during Charles WH's reign. He recalls Cibber as Sir Foy- Wong Flutter, whose wig drew great admiration and was carried to the footlights each night, handed from a sedan chair for final fitting.
Court scene quotes the burglar who answers the judge with a claim that he acted on medical advice before bed. The exchange portrays a legal proceeding framing the burglar’s defense.
A brief dialogue shows a husband and wife arguing about shopping with Mrs Nearby. The husband resists going out while the wife recalls a remnant she favored. The judge quips on faith and enthusiasm making life worth looking at.
The captain quit the voyage and docked the vessel after finding the crew unwilling to fulfill duties. He then docked the crew as a consequence, signaling strict disciplinary action aboard.
Fragmentary lines hint at a playful exchange about faces as poetry and tunes described as deey. Characters Jess, Pesa-sle, Brown ing, and Toledo Bluide appear in a whimsical dialogue with rhythmic mishearings and blessings noted in a rustic or humorous tone.
The Scrap Book recounts a train honeymoon prank where a groom and his friend handcuff each other as a joke. A helper frees them with a file after a fifty mile, no-stop ride, forcing the jokester to pay full fare both ways. The verse section follows with reflections on moral balance and self-governed goodness.
Pat addresses the judge with blarney and titles like your honor your holiness and your reverence. The judge asks what Pat thinks he is and Pat replies with a joke about the judge's face. Laughter erupts and Pat is discharged.
A Chestnut Hill girl discovers her brother Philip eating candy and learns he claims to have earned the money. He asserts he earned it by seeing her beau kiss the baby's nurse, prompting disbelief from the sister and a blunt retort about motherhood.
In the Douglas Jerrold and Punch biography Walter Jerrold quotes a 1858 letter from Jerrold to Dilke about Thackeray. The note jokingly suggests a Nose for Nomanism and recalls Albert Smith prodding Jerrold about revealing only part of the truth in an A S signed article.
A tale of Samuel Foote testing the archbishop of Canterbury with a copy of The Miner a play that flopped in Ireland but thrived in England. The archbishop returned it unmarked and later quipped that Foote would have announced it as corrected and prepared for the stage by his grace.
A Haitian naval crewman staged a peculiar salute by loading a ten inch gun with a pot of knives and forks. When the salute was fired toward the town the Grand hotel guests witnessed knives and forks ricocheting off wooden walls, causing panic and a mad scramble for cover.
Homer Davenport recalls his boyhood plan to learn skating without falling in Silverton. He borrowed an old pillow under his backpack to cushion a dive into the rink and surprised himself by not falling as he began to skate with other youths.
An onlookers recounts a skating mishap as a pillow bursts during a performance at the rink. Feathers billowed, audience laughed for minutes, a ten minute recess was taken while they swept up. Damages were pursued by the rink manager against the skater’s father.
The anecdote recounts Josh Billings sipping from a spring in the White Mountains and a later theft of his large cup. A note pinned to a sapling taunts him to reveal his big black bear, with no signature given. The tale underscores Billings as genial and humorous.
During Earl Spencer’s term as lord lieutenant of Ireland the Dublin crowd hailed the beautiful countess as Spenser’s Faerie Queen. At the farewell banquet an Irish gentleman sought to pay tribute and said with bows that they hoped to see her back soon with the work of art by her side.
A Philadelphia Ledger item recounts a stage troupe where a mania for fining members for minor faults such as makeup lateness or mislaid properties led to punitive charges from a quarter to two dollars. One actor nicknamed Booth owed eight to nine dollars in real money after a borrowed advance, and the manager quipped to settle with a dime fine to “call it square.”
A reporter questioned David Belasco about a new play he is writing. Belasco confirms it will have four acts and three intermissions and notes he has just finished the intervening intervals.
The article reviews disputes over Samuel J. Tilden’s will and the proposed Tilden trust, noting uncertainty about who drew the will and whether Charles O Conor or James C Carter aided it. It contrasts Polk and Conkling wills, and explains the Tennessee court’s ruling that the Tilden trust would be invalid for indefinite discretionary power, and that Polk Place could not be perpetually preserved for blood relatives.
A collection of quips and puns where a customer mocks a grocer about weigh. A water line comments on passage through a fil ter, and a starved poet laments stillness versus writing. A tramp jokes about resources tied up as he carries a bundle. The mu sic note links silence to the term. Papa Santa ends by calling a tree stripping a giveaway.
The shoe drummer snipes at citizens paying 5 cents a mile on a shabby road, while a ticket agent coolly notes the fare is 35 cents an hour. The exchange captures a sharp, humorous bit from the Metropolitan Blaga zine.
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