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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Jun 24, 1911
Page
3
C C Deens Store offers a complete stock of ladies, gents and children's shoes, notions, a 69 cent hat, fresh groceries, coffee at 20 cents a pound, flour 4 to 5 dollars per barrel, Banner Oats 19 cents, Mother's Oats 9 cents, Parrot and Monkey Yeast Powder 6 for 25 cents, sugar 100 pound case 5.50.
The advertisement claims rheumatism stems from uric acid and requires an internal remedy. It denounces rubbing with oils as useless and touts Rheumacide as a complete cure that works from within, claims to purify the system, and lists prices for bottles and tablet packs. It directs readers to Bobbitt Chemical Co. and local druggists in Denton and Hillsboro for purchase.
A wounded veteran recounts a morning national salute gone wrong when a gun misfired and robbed him of sight briefly. In hospital, a mysterious kiss and a theater ticket lead to a string of clues solved by a niece-like woman who confesses she staged the flirtation for sport.
A governor visits a Maine school and quizzes pupils on demonyms. He cites Indiana Hoosiers, North Carolina Tar Heels, and Michigan Michiganders, then asks which name Maine residents should bear. A girl replies Maniacs, while the exchange reflects local humor.
An employee keeps about twenty five hens on the roof of a leading hotel in the center of Hoston. The birds thrive lay well and supply eggs for the hotel customers making a unique city poultry enterprise.
Weather lore about seagulls predicting calm or wind and dolphins signaling an approaching end to a storm. Seagull direction and dolphin presence are presented as indicators for mariners and fishermen of favorable or unfavorable weather.
A Chicago Record-Herald quip ridicules phrenology. A phrenologist visits a house and claims the cook has a small bump of destruction, provoking disbelief and a sharp rebuke that the practice is bunk.
A Toledo Blade cartoon caption features Tam answering a friend about constant borrowing. The grinning retort, Always put off to tomorrow those you have done to day, hints at a humorous take on prosperity and debt.
A young grocer in a parish arranged a plane rental paid by the secretary. The bill rose to 25 dollars as the parish and pastor could not meet payments. A music dealer warned of suit. the minister denied responsibility. A New York collection agency threatened nationwide publication of delinquency. He replied humorously that he has sought the title of D D since entering the ministry.
A compact meditation on living without weariness urging souls to widen and grow in vigor. It exhorts performing noble acts for fellow men, elevating the race, and leaving enduring names, while time guards youth and guides future generations toward heavenward aims.
A Berlin based actor once performed in a small German principality for two weeks. The grand duke did not decorate him, prompting a dinner remark to a chamberlain. Next day the actor was summoned, given a token to remember the duke, and told to share another cross with the cabman after arriving at the street.
Judge W C Adamson recounted a farm task set by his father in Georgia. Each morning he planned to hoe ground peas but chose fishing instead, returning in worse spirits. After three days his father returned, found the field untouched, and pecked him in good humor for resisting work.
The tale recounts Scogan, the court jester, borrowing money from Edward IV and faking his death to avoid repayment. Carried before the king as a corpse, Edward mourned the fool and forgave the debt, only to see Scogan rise and declare the "revivifying" news had brought him back to life.
Daniel Webster described a nighttime stage trip from Baltimore to Washington when a driver, misreading him as a highwayman, seized his hand in relief thinking the senator was about to murder him. Webster, traveling alone, faced fear in the Bladensburg woods until the driver recognized his identity.
A fragment from the Chicago Tribune notes a character named Dinguss asked about his occupation. Shadbolt confirms he is a solicitor. The dialogue identifies loans as the focus, described as small and unsecured.
A humor note recalls a poet surprised that his poem is published yet the paper is sold for a penny, treated as normal in the London Tit-Bits column.
A Philadelphia Ledger quip about a wife delighted by an ostrich feather bought cheap contrasts with an Independent joke where a boy defines a dilemma. The humor rests on wordplay about tickling, cut hair, and parental punishment in brief comic snippets.
On a Sunday in Daytona Reginald de Koven sat with a church organist and played Mendelssohn’s Spring Song then Chopin. The congregation stayed, enthralled, until a push from the organist ended the recital with a few notes guiding the crowd to the doors.
Prosecution and defense each had fifteen minutes to argue. The defense attorney began with a nostalgic allusion to a boyhood swimming hole, describing balmy air and the joy of youth before the judge interrupted, ordering him to “come out, Chauncey,” and finish within the allotted time.
A humorous tale recalls a farm laborer who hoed potatoes poorly until dinner, then overate. When challenged, he cites a biblical verse about moderation but finds another passage urging to do all things with all thy might. The anecdote highlights rural wit and misapplied scripture.
A fragmentary historic reminiscence recounts General Logan’s raid era defiance and a Brooklyn bridge crowd scene. It notes a New Yorker’s confusion and a witty reply about car service and Greenwood Cemetery amid a bustling crowd.
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