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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Jun 18, 1910
Page
3
On Broadway in New York Chauncey Olcott is approached by a stranger who mistakes him for the comedian’s brother. The man bets on the odds then runs into traffic and leaves. Later the same man learns Olcott’s true identity and laments two losing bets on that afternoon.
A husband feigns cooperation for household peace as plumbers warn of water shutoff. At breakfast his wife suggests carrying water from the cistern to fill the tub. He pours buckets into the tub while she realizes the pipes remain connected and the tub is full, prompting his blush and quiet exit.
A brief excerpt from Lord Byron's poem The Prisoner of Chilton praising the chainless mind and freedom. It invokes the eternal spirit in dungeons and the impact of martyrdom on national fame and liberty.
Signor Foli singing in Brand opera in Cork required to perform from a balcony. Fearing collapse two assistants held the platform beneath. A joking exchange in Irish dialect followed with locals quipping about the heavyweight performer.
In the Jefferson market police court a waiter and his partner argued over naming their baby boy. The father, Carl Co Dientz, and the mother, Adolph, clash over Ludwig Adolph or Adolph Ludwig. The magistrate suggests a compromise, but the tale ends with a joke about initials and restaurant ethics.
A timid young man musters courage to ask a wealthy father for his daughter's hand. The father retorts that the suitor cannot even keep her in gloves on current pay. The suitor defends himself by clarifying that he asked for her hand, not for gloves.
Harry Lauder recounts a Manchester spoof on a Guardian challenge notice. He and Arthur Roberts devised a fictitious hotel spoof for £500 a side, prompting a puzzled clerk and a biro shift in print under the headline that only genuine challenges could be inserted. A concluding wife joke follows about a husband likened to dough.
During a railway journey Queen Helene visited a small station where the mayor and council welcomed her with robes of honor and a luncheon. She asked for wine and a drop stained her traveling dresser. The mayor, misunderstanding, replied that it had already been paid for.
The quote discusses how today’s load weighs less than when tomorrow adds itself to the present. It suggests that the true strain arises from the combined pressure of current duties and future expectations, shaping how a person bears life’s challenges.
Rivers returns home late after a business meeting at the club and sparring with Lena Rivers over his excuse. She laughs at his list of synonyms while he pulls out a notebook to note them, a quip in a Chicago Tribune style.
Old John, a lawyer’s confidential clerk, habitually drinks whisky at 11 each morning and hides the odor with a clove. One day cloves were unavailable, so he ate a raw onion from the free lunch tray to mask the scent. His employer, seated opposite him, finally confesses he cannot tolerate onion breath after nineteen years of whisky and clove.
A man held at a house for part of the day gave his wife a quarter and asked for three cigars. She returned with eight for a quarter, and he exclaimed that women can beat men in shopping while he took his "medicine." The comment drew a resigned reply from him.
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