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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Jul 09, 1904
Page
4
Doctors favor patients who are experienced and know how to be sick. The seasoned patient follows medicine faithfully, monitors symptoms, and communicates clearly, sparing the doctor unnecessary trouble. New recruits fear danger, overreact, and often take no medicine at all, while seasoned patients guide treatment with self analysis.
The text notes Napoleon I possessed a grim sense of humor and a fondness for puns. It cites examples such as appointing M. Bigot as minister of public worship due to a pun on his name and creating titles that played on names like Gardanne and Beau Soleil to produce initials and puns about figures such as the Duke de Bellune.
A husband and wife spar over control as she leads with an imperious tone and he, normally meek, pushes back in a sharp exchange. His retort exposes the tension of a strained marriage. She jokes about ruling the universe, cutting him down with wit. The scene ends with him conceding that she is one too many.
A healthful man jokes with a doctor about his prognosis ten years after being told to prepare for death. The physician notes the irony and discusses readiness, while the man wonders if charity or faith offers the true path. He exits musing that it is easy to mock and hard to teach. York Press.
A French physician says yawning is very healthy and that artificial yawning should be used for sore throat and similar troubles. It is as effective as gargling, and should be combined with gargling. Yawning stretches the pharynx and soft palate like a massage and helps clear mucus from the throat tubes.
A wife nudges her sleeping husband to stop his loud snoring and tries a trick from an article about flow to prevent snoring. He half wakes, rolls away, and resumes snoring while she quips that if he kept his mouth shut she would be fine, too.
In early dawn Japanese households begin daily work with the mistress rising at sunrise. Servants prepare the dining room, fetch water, and sweep verandas while the mistress oversees rooms and serves morning tea to her husband and parents, a scene illustrated by Onoto Watanna in Harper's Weekly.
In West Philadelphia two twin men living in Schuylkill district prove hard to tell apart. One twin visits a barbershop for a shave and a new barber notices a second twin in the chair later that day with two days of growth. The barber suspects a mix up and contemplates quitting.
A floor walker explains a changing relationship with a girl using a pun about a bargain counter. He notes they were great friends with notes and flowers, but over time contact faded to an ice cold nod, leaving only a remnant of the old acquaintance. The quip appears in the Detroit Free Press.
Naturalists note that inability to escape pursuers heightens fighting. Linnaeus observed short legged monkeys show more bravery than long legged ones. The East Indian rhesus ape displays bulldog like courage, explaining slug gish brain behavior and some smaller relatives.
A tale recounts a duel between a French dramatist and his critic. After a miss the journalist aimed at the hat and hit it precisely. The dramatist cried foul saying it was unfair and quipped that he would have worn an old hat if he’d known the plan.
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