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Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Jul 08, 1911
Page
3
C C Deens Store announces expansion to carry a complete range of farm implements. The move aims to supply farmers with diverse equipment and tools, aligning inventory with regional agricultural needs and seasonal demand.
A brief notice notes church materials are protected under copyright held by the American Press Association dating from 1911. The item signals rights and usage restrictions for church documents and published content from that era.
A terrified Irish narrator wakes to warn of robbers attempting to steal St Patrick’s silver plate. He straps on his britches and rides eight miles through a thunderstorm, guided by Saint Patrick, pursued by a cloaked figure like the Devil, as flashes light the road to the church.
A narrator recalls a night ride where a rosary hung on his saddle horn after mistaking a priest for the devil and then for St. Patrick. He arrives at a church to find Father Conover preparing to defend the sacred plate, lights lit to deter robbers, and the tale ends with the rosary tangled on the saddle horn revealing the unexpected sequence of events.
A New York Sun correspondent outlines simple methods to tell a fresh egg from an old one. Methods include shell peeling when boiled, foaming when beaten, yolk and white behavior in a dish, chalky shell after time, and air space growth detectable by candling or hard boiling.
In a tense domestic exchange, Henry denies leading a double life after his partner recalls a night of outbursts. She demands a full confession, offering forgiveness if warranted. The Chicago Record-Herald reports the heated moment and the plea for truth.
The Scrap Book adds a new tale about Nat Goodwin after a New York court barred his remarriage. It recounts a poker hand with Robert Hilliard where Goodwin claimed four queens but Oil Ward corrected him, saying he held four queens.
L. E. F. Barry denounces expectation as a deceitful god who toys with trust. The speaker vows to banish the delusive cheer, renounce the enticing promises, and endure patiently until reality aligns with worth.
The late Archbishop Ryan of Philadelphia was a diplomat and Catholic leader. He wittyly avoided endorsing either the Catholic Standard or the Catholic Times, praising both for differing strengths and claiming the more worthy is the one proven superior.
A paraphrased profile notes Uncle Joe Cannon's blend of temper and humor, with a congressman saying humor can aid and bless all walks. It mentions a British soldier flogged for laughing, who jokes that he is the wrong man, illustrating humor under pressure.
Percy French recalled by Ramsay Colles in In Castle and Courthouse, describing a country house offering bed and board for 25 shillings a week. French said he stayed two weeks before realizing which was the bed and which was the board.
Hon John Bell recalls a story from interior PA counties where lay judges assist law judges in minor matters. Judge Blank, a lay judge himself, testifies before the Senate committee on abolishing the office. He jokes that after years of listening to lengthy lawyers in equity cases, a colleague asks if the lawyers give him a pain.
A wealthy Venezuelan agriculturist appointed minister of marine orders the secretary to record ship horsepower. He then rewrites the detail as a practical note to the chief of customs: remove 120 horses and substitute mules for better economy and endurance.
An elderly Scot Donald, habitually visiting a village inn for a drink, discovers the landlord mixed his whisky with a sulfuric acid solution used to clean taps. He fears poisoning but returns next evening. he reports the dram was warming yet powerful, noting it set his mustache on fire with each cough.
At the ninth annual Traffic club dinner in Pittsburgh George F. Baer recounts a tale about a Reading railroad president who cannot name the price of a Niagara Falls round trip ticket. The visitor mocks him as a “hell of a railroad president.”
A night of dissipation ends with a startled wake up call as Mr Young steps on a cat waking John and prompting his wife to remark on late singing and potential neighbor complaints. The scene unfolds in a quiet house at three in the morning.
An aged Scottish man in New York interior county proves his wit after a friend taunts him about spelling. Duncan bets he can spell bird and wins by correcting the challenger. The exchange ends with Duncan noting he was not betting at first but still spelling correctly.
A midnight scene recounts Admiral Sigsbee waking to a son’s dramatic claim of a burglar in the house. Charlie Sigsbee, turning twenty one, bursts in and declares the intruder is present, prompting a martial response from the admiral and a tense, comic reveal.
Four young girls in snowy white carried blue cards with letters for a Sunday school act. They turned the cards to reveal letters forming STAR but reversed entries produced RATS instead. The audience burst into laughter as the miscue happened during the performance.
A banquet in Tor da honors Maurus Jokai features a toast to "The Ladies" that mocks aging hair with a bald wig reveal. The crowd and ladies react, while Jokai quips his hair will never gray. A closing quip on rubber plants adds a noted unrelated line from Washington Herald.
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