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This newspaper page contains 24 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Jan 20, 1900
Page
1
A frugal husband recalls his wife Susan buying a self opening umbrella for his birthday. On a rain soaked journey the umbrella would not close, disrupting a train ride and forcing a wait for a cloakroom solution before they finally abandon it in the cloakroom with the next day’s retrieval planned.
A narrator confronts a stubborn umbrella that refuses to shut. After a crowd of urchins laughs at the mishap, Susan retrieves the umbrella and demonstrates a simple shut. It closes perfectly and never misbehaves again. The tale ends with a quip about retrograde spirit and optimism.
A seventeenth century hand bill from London describes the first public coffee house in England by Pasqua Rosee. It extols coffee as a warming, healthful drink said to quicken the spirits, ease headaches, aid eyes, and prevent various ailments while noting it is sold at St. Michael's Alley Cornhill under the sign of his own head.
Dr Dunning visits friends where two samplers hang opposite the dining table. One reads The Lord Will Provide, the other depicts a lifelike dog. At breakfast there is sausage, and he ponders the motto and the dog, questioning if there is anything in it.
In a witty exchange, Mr Knowles notes a broad hint in his jeweler's will to his son, while Mr Quilet questions the remark. The line centers on the regulator left to the son as the sole bequest.
A Brooklin Life item notes churchgoers linger after services, with the edifice rarely emptied for about fifteen minutes. The Sinner quips that some people are hard to awaken, reflecting on post service habits.
A fragmentary collection contrasts a Boston Courier remark on money with Greek ritual offerings at Delphi and Lord Bacon’s onion affection. The note juxtaposes vulgarity of lucre, cultural values, and literary allusions in a compact selector of era imagery.
A brief remark notes that Byzantine princes engaged in a game closely resembling the modern pole vault, suggesting continuity in athletic practice across eras and cultures.
A Sucre Bolivian letter to the Chicago Record describes Bolivian cooking methods. A ground oven with clay-roofed holes cooks meat on spits producing smoked meat. The national dish chupe is a thick mixed stew of mutton, other meats, chicken, fish, fruits, vegetables, and grains. It uses leftovers, is reheated with additions, and worsens away from urban centers where palatability declines. Travelers often endure chupe to avoid starvation, sometimes packing canned meat and bread for resilience.
A New Orleans scenic artist explains the challenges of decorative street floats. He notes a float must look good from near and far, withstand rain and wind, travel any street, and read well to observers from upper windows. He recalls a northern designer whose scale models looked fine only from ground level, but failed from balconies or high windows.
An Atchison Globe opinion piece argues smoking is harmful despite the author’s own lunging habit. It urges adults to quit and holds fathers and grandfathers responsible for a boy’s initiation, suggesting reform will take millennia.
A Chicago Post item describes a girl at play on a railroad train imitation scene. She snatches a paper from her father, tests a conductor’s ticket, and informs him the card issued yesterday is invalid. The boy offers cash and the scene ends with a dime given.
The article notes George Gould received 5 million dollars over ten years for services rendered, averaging 500000 dollars annually. It also cites Sir William C. Van Horn as earning 75000 dollars per year as president of the Canadian Pacific New York Press.
A quirky medieval remedy claims six steps for a cure. Select a maid’s handkerchief aged 50 who never wished change, wash in a miller’s pond, dry on a non covetous parson’s hedge, send to a doctor who never killed a patient, mark with a lawyer’s ink who never cheated, then apply to the affected part for a speedy cure.
A Chicago News snippet recalls a man praising a boy for returning a postal card with a back note. The piece contrasts honesty with the mystery of never seeing the boy again and highlights a penny’s use in a clever ruse.
A Missouri Justice of the Peace Beasley privately swore an affidavit before himself to avoid a fee. Judge Kelley sustained the objection that a justice cannot swear himself, asking how Beasley appeared before himself. Beasley replied he used a looking glass to perform the formalities.
A Boston Post report recounts two passengers aboard an Atlantic liner, an American and an Englishman, who cease cordial exchanges after sharing a voyage in adjoining staterooms. The Englishman’s boisterous friendliness prompts the American to claim the ship has lost its way as he pretends the compass is missing, sparking laughter among fellow travelers.
A Scottish mine manager mocks a visitor who claims to be a Scotch professor named Playfair. The exchange reveals the name Lyon Playfair as the speaker’s identity, with witty remarks about travel distance and recognition. The scene unfolds during interaction at a phosphate mine.
A Columbian excerpt recalls Peter the Great nearly being trapped when a jester begged for his cousin from the czar. The quick wit exposed the trap, prompting the czar to laugh and spare the condemned man. The tale highlights the jester's famed cleverness in courtly peril.
A tall countryman travels to the White House to meet the president during a morning stroll. He tells the first man he meets that he wants to see the president and is directed to follow as the president leaves. The man, noting the president’s pace, exclaims that the president walks like any other man and hurries to get a closer view.
A playful excerpt cites a 1860s letter by Lewis Carroll urging restraint on endless hugging and kissing. The speaker warns Nellie Emsie and the uncle would be overwhelmed by such affection if kept up for long, suggesting a practical limit of about half a day.
In a witty exchange a curious boarder asks how to define a compliment. The other answers that a compliment is a skirmisher sent to provoke engagement in love. The Chicago Tribune quote frames praise as tactical warfare in romance.
In a Columbus State Journal brief a clerk confirms a fixed reduction on cracked goods with a customer ordering cracked wheat for fifty cents, requesting a dollar’s worth. The exchange notes a standard sale practice of offering a set percentage discount on cracked items.
A partial obituary style line hints at a married couple with tension as the wife grapples with her husband's behavior. The readable fragment mentions a chair and a shoe, suggesting a domestic scene referenced in a late era newspaper snippet.
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