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Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Jan 09, 1904
Page
5
Local paper dated Saturday morning January 9, 1904 presents daily notices and brief items. Advertisements and community notices fill columns, with names and businesses of the era appearing amid small town events and public announcements.
A Parisian woman facing eviction lured a bailiff and a police officer into a staged scene. She claimed the front door was locked and threatened to jump from a fourth-floor window, wasting hours as bystanders gathered. Eventually the door was opened to reveal the chief of police escaping in a cab, leaving officials humiliated.
A London Truth writer ridicules tactlessness among women, citing examples of poor timing on delicate matters. A wife on her husband’s deathbed asks about mourning attire, and a postcard miscommunication triggers family distress, revealing gaps in tact and understanding.
A historical note describes an ale tester in leather breeches who judges ale by sugar content. He visits an inn, drinks a glass, and sits on a wooden bench for thirty minutes without moving. If the bench remains unstained, the ale is clean. if sugar is present, the bench sticks and the tester signals a negative result.
A New York Press anecdote features two women debating Henry a fiancé who carried his money in a fish scale purse. The disengaged woman rejects marrying a man with such a purse, preferring money kept loose in pockets. friends agree and joke about looser change.
In club circles a New York insurance company president recalls his son at Yale who put off a rhetoric assignment until the last moment. The father woke at midnight to write and wire the article for the next day. The professor later marked the piece very low with the note that the son did not know what success means.
A Milwaukee Sentinel note describes a student prize reading Our Feathered Friends leading to a quip about feathered friends being Indians or angels. In domestic economy class a pupil offered sweeping instructions using dust sheets, damp tea leaves, and sweeping into a dustpan before tossing it out a window.
Philadelphia Ledger reports a photographer recalls a woman who visited his studio and asked for children’s pictures. He quoted three dollars a dozen, and she replied she could only pay eleven dollars, promising to return.
A French savant notes spiders webs improve a room's acoustics and recalls a hall in England ideal for sound conveyance. When ceilings were cleaned and the webs removed, the hall lost its speaking quality. He proposes hanging loosely stretched cotton strings to restore sound carry.
A Magistrate rebukes Mooney for alleged domestic violence as his wife testifies. Mooney challenges the claim, implying an admission by the wife in a disputed quarrel. The exchange ends with Mooney quipping that he will gladly pay a fine.
In a quip at the social gathering Mrs Oldcastle comments that Mrs Seaddsleigh’s embowpoint may be worsening. The hostess notes Seaddsleigh’s golf prowess but hints she has taken up other games, while Josiah suggests a steadier focus on her children.
The Arctic coast awakens with thousands of birds arriving in late May. Swans cranes geese brant ducks gulls and terns flood the shores creating a chaotic din before families settle their own nests. Foxes are their only major threat and fox-free lakeside islands become thriving nesting grounds. From Camp Life In Arctic America by Andrew J Stone Scribner's.
A man explains why he seeks to sell his dog. He trained the animal to bark at intruders and to carry bundles, even a lantern for burglars. When burglars entered, the dog did not bark but held a lantern, prompting the buyer to back away.
A famous racing captain bet an officer £10 he could climb a flight of forty one steps two at a time. He reached twenty hops before hitting the last step and lost. He then wagered another £10, hopped up forty steps in twenty hops, hopped back one, and finished by the last two steps to win.
British troops marching on Peking in 1860 faced a flooded river. With no timber or materials, a coffin stockpile was found in the village and used to construct a bridge. The improvised span allowed them to cross, leaving coffins serving as the crossing receptacles yet ensuring the soldiers crossed alive.
Cholly and Ascum discuss Sloman repeating a wised up line about kind hearts being better than crowns. They note originality and praise his cleverness for keeping it ready in his head as quoted in Catholic Standard and Times.
An Episcopal clergyman in Cincinnati was shaved by a barber prone to drunken sprees. The barber cut the parson’s face badly, declaring the fault came from too much drink. The barbershop chatter reflects the era’s slang and humor.
In a dramatic moment the day of judgment approaches as Gabriel’s call resounds. The crowd, including plebeians and sans culotte, responds readily while a small group sits apart with backs turned and continued talk. The scene hints at social divisions amid a charged public moment.
Lawrence Jerome, famed as a practical joker, once eyeing royal stationery at Osborne House, plotted an American re-creation. He sent a forged queen letter to a yacht party, then received a real invitation from a lord. The joke backfired into a royal mix up before he finally accepted the genuine dinner invite.
Jones and Brown spar over a riddle about a five pound note versus five sovereigns. The note is preferred because it folds and creases in pocket use, a tease Brown misses. Brown later repeats it at his club, but fails to grasp the humor, per the London Globe.
A writer notes Mr. Gladstone ignored attire when out of office, with shabby hats and baggy frock coats, while in Downing Street he appeared smart for his age. He wore his Inverness cape from his Midlothian campaign into the 1892 election, and in Edinburgh often went bareheaded, with few constituents seeing him hatless.
An elderly commentator praises a wise forgetter who discards others’ mistakes and personal errors. He argues letting these memories pass prevents them from crowding productive thoughts, urging youths of both genders to cultivate selective forgetting for future use.
An Oakland matron recounts waking to a noise and alarmed her husband who went to investigate. By the time Charles was downstairs the burglar had left, though a window was found open. The tale ends with readers noting his gait was blushingly revealed as corked by a feeble leg.
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