28 Feb 1880
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 8 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Feb 28, 1880
Page
1
A playful verse narrates a scene where a man confronts a lazy woman who answers "Both" when asked to choose between love and friendship. The speaker probes her stance, finds a simple truth in her response, and the exchange ends with a coy, affectionate acknowledgment.
A humorous tale follows bachelor Mr Popkins and Miss Sallie Hopkins in a feud over a shared meadow. Court summons, stagecoach travel, and social tea party theatrics weave a satire of obstinate lovers and a comically bungled lawsuit. A deaf neighbor narrates the farcical misadventure amid vivid characters and a Victorian tone.
The narrative follows Mr Popkins and Miss Sallie aboard a wheelcar as a sudden proposal cracks the Hopkins v Hopkins suit. Uncle Ben’s schemes backfire then succeed, ending with a conciliatory marriage. A digression on pouring oil on troubled waters adds a moral aside and a note on proverbial origins.
A French resident of Lockport New York Pierre Valcour claims to have invented a portable cable device. The cigar shaped shell carries insulated wire reels allowing a vessel to reel out and take up wire for constant shore contact up to hundreds of miles at sea. Valcour demonstrates at speed and envisions global uses including mid ocean news, private messaging, weather and disaster alerts, and potential publishing ventures aboard ships. He cites a successful test with a Danish master and says contracts will be offered at low rates.
A fragment discusses a transformed youth sharing that regeneration came from divine grace and quiet example, not sermons. It then reports on a San Francisco Pipe Club smoking contest where German residents sought a silver medal after smoking four ten-inch cigars. A rural humor exchange about wheat in Minnesota follows, with caricatured banter on grasshoppers and agricultural woes.
A passage discusses Mother Shipton's Prophecy, noting 1453 origin and 164k republishing, claiming most predictions have come true except a final lines. It lists imagined advances and events such as railroads, telegraphs, air travel, submarines, gold discoveries, and Disraeli as prime minister, ending with a near-end of the dispensation.
A Politeness tale recalls a servant delivering a turbotose present to Dean Swift. The boy, rude at first, is corrected by offering a seat and proper etiquette. Swift is amused as the youth earns a half crown for wit, and both master and pupil gain a life lesson in manners and social ascent.
The article cites Revelation 21 16 to measure a perfect cube city of twelve thousand furlongs per side and computes vast volumes for the Throne, streets, and rooms. It then imagines 1 000 inhabitants per year for 100 000 years and scales to 247 trillion people, yielding many more sixteen foot rooms than people.
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