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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Aug 03, 1912
Page
3
A single lot of shoes is offered for sale at cost price. The seller emphasizes there are no extra charges or hidden costs. Prospective buyers should act quickly as the offer is limited to the remaining stock.
A fragmentary item from The Scrap Book recounts an editorial style tale about a Topeka attorney named Williams and a convivial passenger on a private rail trip. The piece blends a humorous anecdote with a poem urging courage and forward action on the firing line, attributed to Jocelin Miller.
An elderly Glaswegian moves houses and carries a heavy grandfather clock on his shoulder. A fellow Scot, intoxicated, offers blunt advice to buy yourself a watch, illustrating practical thrift humor.
Willard S Stralant of Morgan bank shares a recent letter from Peking noting how Chinese puzzles perplex him. A Mandarin guest at dinner astonishes with a dish containing edible eyes and a magazine hidden inside printing pages, illustrating the play of surprise and misdirection in cultural puzzles.
In an English inn, a weekly prize draw uses numbered steel disks. The innkeeper's daughter draws first, then the others, with the mother’s disk often appearing. One evening the child with a frightened turn refuses to draw the top disk, hinting at foul play in a rural household.
A visitor asks a boy about his mother's interest in his father's work. The boy replies with feeling that his mother does indeed care and identifies his father's trade as the shingle business, reflecting a dialog from a York Statesman page.
A dialogue features a well known man praising Indians for stoicism and a playful counterpoint about Longfellow finding mime in a Catholic Standard. The exchange showcases light cultural humor and literary reference in a clipped conversational tone.
In a comic tale President Ish Fish of the Hiiness Central instructs switchman Pat Casey on proper etiquette for asking favors. Casey returns, hat off and pipe out, and gains a pass over the Wabash after following the form. The humorous exchange highlights workplace manners and miscommunication.
A man who lost his nose is followed by an Irish beggar woman who exclaims I heaven preserve your honor s eyesight He asks why preserve it She answers it will be a sad thing if it fails for you all have nothing to rest your spectacles upon.
A preacher brings his wife to services and a kind steward warmly welcomes her, only for her to confide the preacher isn’t the usual. Nearby a Turkey With a Record joke unfolds when a fat turkey fails to impress a Pepper Wells, who discovers it had won eleven county poultry show prizes in succession.
In a Maine interior county a long running suit was referred by the chief justice then Judge Peters to three referees. After deliberation they agreed to appoint one lawyer and two honest men. Judge Velers urged selecting one lawyer among the referees to cover necessary legal knowledge.
Paris police crack down on littering with sharp eyed officers demanding name and address from offenders. One elderly man attempted to show a banknote from his pocket but was spared after yielding the waste paper and bowing apologetically.
A witty exchange contrasts sentiment with fair dealing. The ronzintle person declares sentiment essential, while Mr. Growcher cautions it can hinder a square deal and snare a girl into valuing hair over a 460 engagement ting.
A witty quarrel between Mrs. Benham and Benham over a nickname sparks a newspaper jab. The New York Press quips that the nickname fits a man who is “on the hog,” while the dialogue hints at sharper remarks about propriety and tone in public discourse.
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