23 Apr 1904
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Apr 23, 1904
Page
1
John drives Mr and Mrs T to the station when the horse halts to listen to their talk. Mr T asks what is wrong. John replies with a humorous dialect explanation that the horse stops to hear, but in truth he was not paying attention to his work, though his wit averts reprimand.
Two St Joseph officers eyed an umbrella plan. A citizen brought an umbrella to the police station for inquiry, left with one officer who insisted it wasn’t the man’s. The officer kept the umbrella, and the matter ended with no return.
A New Orleans Times-Democrat report quotes a coffee merchant disputing the ubiquity of genuine Mocha coffee. He says true Mocha is highly limited, reserved for governors and sheiks, with only small grades reaching markets, while Ceylon and Java coffees predominate locally.
A Brooklyn household hires an Irish maid Nora who refuses to rise despite a ringing bell. The mistress discovers Nora awake, laughing and explaining she never touched the bell, saying it is still wagerin.
John Scott in Edinburgh after drinking confuses street scene and asks a passer if he knows where John Scott hides. The stranger replies that he is John Scott, but the question seeks his house not his name, reflecting a humorous mishap in Picardy Place.
A man described as a policeman-looking figure is challenged for lingering around a shop. He explains he is waiting for privacy to buy a feeding bottle for his wife, justifying the delay as innocent amid scrutiny. The exchange is reported in London Answers.
Jake, a colored servant, has many children with Biblical names due to his devout study of the Bible. A new boy prompts puzzled naming, the woman suggesting Balaam but fearing Tlallowed. The father considers the phrase Hallowed be thy name and plans to leave it there.
In a north England school the head master has begun teaching natural history. He asked a pupil to name the difference between himself and a tiger, implying the size of nature. The boy answered, Please sir, a tiger is an imperfect beast, but you are a perfect beast.
A vivid account describes the elaborate Chinese honor system through the putz square embroidered on officials garments. Civil ranks feature birds like stork and phoenix while military ranks use quadrupeds such as unicorn and tiger. Rich materials include pearls and gold thread, with symbolic waves indicating date and status.
Years ago Parliament ordered Chelmsford jail rebuilt using old materials and confined prisoners to the existing structure during construction. A William IV statute set fourteen years transport for a crime and oddly split one half to the king and one half to the informer, a starkly erroneous provision the drafter could not explain.
A thin young man narrates a scene at his home where a five year old named Johnny believes the moon goes around the earth. Johnny claims to have seen the moon moving past two clouds toward the railroad station while making astronomical observations.
In Town Topics a nurse answers questions about a baby’s treatment with castor oil hypophosphites and magnesia. Despite a poultice and cold chest compress, the infant shows no improvement, prompting plans to summon the doctor.
A distinguished London barrister stayed at a Scottish farm. He and the farmer tried shooting rabbits all afternoon but failed to hit any. On returning home, the farmer quipped that if one rabbit had turned on him, what would he have done.
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