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Newspaper
Denton Journal
Location
Denton, Maryland, United States of America
Date
Apr 09, 1910
Page
5
The County Commissioners will hear appeals for transfers and abatements of tax assessments on April 5 12 19 and 26. No appeals can be heard after April 26. By order of the Commissioners ISAAC L. DUES Clerk.
A genial Chicago drummer visiting Louisville learns of Joe Hinkle's death with macabre humor about a roofer who slipped from a 21 story Mason temple. The tale mocks death as the man dies after a three day bounce and being shot to avert starvation. Includes Thoreau verse.
A British literary minded hunter in Scotland visits a village shop for Browning works. The elderly shopkeeper, after inspecting dusty shelves, quips that they have no Browning but offer bluing ink and other items. The humor hinges on a misread name Browning as Browning.
An artist recalls Whistler attempting to place a fellow painter’s work in an autumn salon. The painting hung, but on varnishing day the owner found it upside down. Whistler quipped that the committee refused it the other way, preserving the humorous observer’s view of art standards.
A collection of anecdotes features James Russell Lowell returning to Cambridge with a guest who loves simplicity, a dinner with creamed fish, and a misfit fish course. A burglar lectured by a judge proclaims the innocence of a “little thing” like a baby theft. A Maryland-based stable owner hires a country lad who reveals he slept on the job after an employment ad sought a thirteen year old to sleep on the premises.
A male passenger attempts to dodge fares in a crowded platform scene. A suffragette opposing the idea refuses to pay another's fare, insisting she will not support a total stranger. The conductor suggests a resolution, but the woman stands firm, causing onlookers to question the ploy.
The late Noah Davis, a New York supreme court judge, was noted for wit. A lawyer pleaded to a witness and was told to submit, prompting the judge to quip that there are more counts than in a German principality, and adjourned.
An essay-like reflection on patience describing it as the ballast that steadies life’s voyage. It argues patience keeps a person steady amid storms, allowing progress or safe endurance when facing the largest tempests, and frames patience as essential for navigation through hardship.
A stolid German traveling to America fell overboard but was rescued quickly after an alarm. He returned to the deck that evening, visibly affected by the mishap, as fellow passengers surrounded him. A young woman asked how it felt to be left alone in the ocean. He replied simply, Wet.
Sympathetic old German comforter meets a crying captain who laments his father’s death and hoped he would become fire chief. The German offers a consoling line suggesting perhaps the father is already a fire chief in spirit, ending with a gentle, hopeful aside.
A historic anecdote recounts Sir Thomas More asking the executioner to spare his beard, claiming it had not committed treason, likened to Simon Lord Lovat who warned not to cut his throat to avoid disappointing the crowd.
A fragment from a lecture scene shows Egbert and Bacon discussing the professor's counts. Egbert recalls eight at yesterday's lecture while Bacon-Did questions if the speaker always counts ten before speaking, hinting at a subtle exchange about attendance or rhetoric.
A humorous exchange features Mrs Youngwife asking what proof of love she has from her husband. He quips that he has contracted a chronic case of dyspepsia, prompting a judge to remark on the comical misalignment of affection and ailment.
A fragmentary line urges reflection on mortality and urges doing good while time remains, blending cryptic exhortation with somber mood. It references mortality, urging personal action though the sentence remains unfinished and ambiguous.
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