28 Nov 1921
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Democrat Tribune
Location
Jefferson City, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Nov 28, 1921
Page
1
A satirical verse notes the annoyances of opening milk bottles with pasteboard caps. It mocks the stubborn cap that sticks and spills milk, recounting the frustration of prying and the milky splashes that follow. The poem frames the cap as a hated invention.
The Marinello Shop is renamed Muscletower offering a device to enhance complexion and hair. One treatment promises marvelous benefits. Appointments via phone at 206.
Washington reports that the American delegation held a lengthy conference and expects a quick decision on naval armaments this week. They anticipate Japanese arguments for revising the capital ship ratio but doubt any change will modify the American position. Resolutions on extra territoriality and foreign postal services in China will be ready for the full committee tomorrow.
A visitor admires a heavy desk paperweight as the editor of the Toadvine Clarion explains his method. He says the weight calms angry citizens who threaten him, noting it takes under forty seconds to return a person to calm.
A boy asks if animals go to heaven and his mother replies with a joke about where animals go after they die. The younger brother quips that they go to the museums. The exchange blends questions of death with a lighthearted punchline.
Editor and author discuss discarding phrases and selling them as vers libre. Dialogue reveals plans to monetize cut phrases while joking about future marriage prospects. The exchange mixes wit and market talk, reflecting a creative reuse of language.
In a sharp exchange, Mr Hrastus Pinkley warns that a past remark about a head being solid ivory could end up in a museum if another risky move is made. The remark ties a boastful claim to possible lasting consequences.
A playful exchange features a mother and child crediting Miss Primleigh with graceful fainting, while a boastful Ham Actor proclaims all in the troupe are stars yet asserts Betelgeuse remains the sole true celestial beacon. The wry humor centers on theatrical vanity and the distinction of a single iconic star.
Jones notes many women waiting by the church on the sea front. James asks what they wait for and is told they expect the tide to go out, revealing the waterline or shoreline activity.
A witty dialogue contrasts wealth and frugality as a woman boasts about good looks inherited from her mother while the other retorts that stinginess also runs in the family. The exchange centers on appearance, money, and thrift.
A Democrat Tribune ad invites rags for recycling at five cents per pound. The notice specifies payment upon pickup or delivery to the newspaper.
A man sought success yet avoided effort until a turning moment compelled him to work.
A senator notes a lobbyist asks about vote direction. If the senator’s stated intent favors the lobbyist’s interests, the lobbyist will claim he has exerted the greatest influence for his employers.
A brief exchange hints at a medium preparing to trance while calling the gathering of onlookers a crowd of pikers. The talk favors a practical take on the occult moment and frames the scene as a wary, amused backstage moment.
In a domestic scene Angelina accuses Al of kissing other girls and reveals a misdelivered yumyum letter from the girl next door. The slice of life exchange centers on trust and mistaken mail in a neighborhood setting.
The Democrat Tribune office advertises payment for clean rags at five cents per pound.
Vancouver registers show a cosmopolitan stream of travelers from Manila London Boston and many cities as transPacific liners steer arrivals and departures. The city offers year round motoring routes roses in bloom and scenic drives including Stanley Park and Shaughnessy Heights named for Lord Shaughnessy.
A distressed father retrieves a hatchet from a boy pounding on a baseboard. The exchange hints at domestic tension and the boy’s fixation with the piano, suggesting strained home dynamics and a momentary threat followed by cautious restraint.
A fragment from The Safety Zone discusses circulating news likely of interest while warning of danger as a speaker mentions pins in a waist, signaling caution about hazards and rumors. The tone hints at a column mixing public interest items with enigmatic buys.
Good Timothy Hay offered at 18 dollars per ton delivered in ton lots or 16.5 dollars per ton for any quantity at the farm. Oats straw 0.36 dollars per bale. F W Dallmeyer announces contact details and a vanity shop ad promoting sham pooing hairdressing facial massage manicuring scalp treatment and chiropody with appointments. Also a notice to telephone subscribers about switchboard upgrades and ongoing service during work progresses under handicapped conditions.
A 1910s notice urges subscribers to limit calls between 9:00 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. to keep service running smoothly. It emphasizes cooperation and reminds customers that service depends on collective effort.
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