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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Cumberland Islander
Location
Cumberland, British Columbia, Canada
Date
May 13, 1916
Page
3
Two navvies working away from home were paid and walked through a village. One enters the post office and buys a postal order for six pence. The other asks about competitions as Bill contemplates sending money home to his wife.
A playful boast about a dance partner named He Smith said to be a man of great parts. The speaker recalls dancing with him one night and claims it left her unable to walk for a week.
The couple watches a yacht race when a starter fouls a buoy. A playful exchange follows about being towed in and towed out. The bride-to-be’s father cautions about finances before marriage.
A terse exchange reveals a request to settle old debts with a humorous twist. The dialogue shows Mr. Smythe ill and the speaker pressing for repayment of fifteen shillings, hinting at long-standing financial tension and daily shakes as a metaphor for urgency.
A genial comedian visits an oculist to fix his eyes and wears high glasses. The oculist notes he is not used to glasses, and the comedian quips that he is but not so high up. The joke centers on a misfit nose and placement.
The opera manager recalls a chaotic season marked by a feud between lead tenor De Reeker and prima donna De Squatch. Reeker reportedly stepped on Squatch 13 times during a single performance and the next night she appeared as Marguerite in bloom, nearly breaking them.
A local reminiscence recalls wingmen unruly nights and hair loosening rituals. The speaker notes modern times bring looser behavior and styles once described as full moon shapes, now near eclipsed.
The ill old man asks if he will die but the doctor, smiling, reassures him that death is the very last thing likely to happen. The physician examines him gravely yet offers hopeful certainty.
A fragment from a shipboard exchange shows a passenger suggesting care for a seasick relative and another clarifying the relative is his mother-in-law, followed by a brief remark about pardons.
The veteran actor boasts about a Hamlet performance saying it took the audience half an hour to leave. The younger actor questions if the audience stayed to admire him or if they were simply slow to exit. The exchange hints at contrasting stage reputations.
Really Mean Jinks and Binks discuss a mutual acquaintance described as a really mean man. Jinks notes he acts harshly by avoiding a simple gift and instead suggests a gold watch for when his daughter turns nineteen.
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