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Newspaper
Cumberland Islander
Location
Cumberland, British Columbia, Canada
Date
Mar 21, 1914
Page
3
The Select Waist Company offers wool silk blend waists at 1.35 with postage paid. Includes shades Brey navy white tan sky mauve stripe sizes 14 to 42. Refund if not as represented. Send size shade and payment to 898 College Street Toronto.
A neighbor asks Willie to check Mrs Smith's age. Willie reports back that she said it is none of your business. The boy explains he only asked what his mother told him to ask.
Mrs Holt praises a modestly priced dress at twenty two dollars comparing it with Mrs Ringley who paid seventy five dollars. She notes the Ringleys’ pew at church is more conspicuous and suggests they cannot attend later than others, reflecting social rivalry.
In Edmonton Alberta Mrs Frank Emsley credits Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and Liver Pills with saving her from surgery after organ inflammation left her bedridden. After three bottles she reports renewed health and urges others to use the remedy. In Beatrice Nebraska Mrs R B Child says the medicine relieved a painful side after marriage, avoiding operations and keeping her healthy with two children.
Ex president Taft and Justice Harlan paused on Murray Bay links near Taft’s summer home for a candid golf photo. Harlan removed his cap, his bald scalp gleaming in sunlight as Taft warned him to mind the glare to avoid fogging the plate.
A Westerner asks a beach guard if they sell water for a bath. The guard quotes fifteen cents a bucket or two buckets for a quarter. The man, finding it pricey, leaves. Later at low tide he notes, “you’ve sold a lot since morning.”
Disturbances of the stomach and liver cause fever and ague by deranging digestion and blood quality. Parmelee's Vegetable Pills are claimed to reduce fever and subdue ague in a few days, offering relief for those repeatedly troubled by these ailments.
A manager asked George Ade if he had ever been taken for a minister. Ade replied no, but he has been treated like one, kept waiting for his salary for six or seven months.
A West Indian man in a danger zone sends his two sons to England to escape upcoming earthquakes. The steamer returns with a terse note: Here are your boys, send me the earthquake. The record preserves a dramatic, archaic tone and implies looming disaster.
A humorous snippet presents a Sunday school exchange where Harry asks how sins are forgiven and the teacher answers with a paradoxical cue about sin itself, highlighting a child’s unintended logic. The quip underlines the era’s lighthearted religious humor and dialogue.
A brief dialogue fragment features two speakers debating what would happen to the other if one were suddenly removed. The exchange centers on survival and concern for dependents amid an irreverent reply about staying behind.
A woman rejects George offering marriage, stating she seeks a man with noble ambition and a high purpose. He presses, she reaffirms commitment and declares she is his, while the dialogue emphasizes resolve and idealism over romance.
A shy lad at a family Christmas meal speaks up to Miss Grace, confessing he eats little. The maiden notes his tact, and the moment hints at a budding affection as he asks to sit beside her, risking his appetite to win her company.
Fragmentary exchange shows a host and guest discussing a truce and past quarrel. The hostess notes they do not speak directly but still arrange meetings or connections via intermediaries.
A customer asks the apothecary about a prescription error. The clerk recalls never mistaking a prescription but notes once the drug mail pressed a price of thirty cents instead of a dollar and a half. The exchange hints at a billing discrepancy and a vendor error.
A father catches Willie in a garden corner as he asks if any pears were eaten. Willie denies, citing the famous lie. The father finds three cores in Willie’s bedroom and questions the cupboard pear. Willie explains distance to the gate explains the fourth pear.
All Orders Mike exercises firm control as foreman of the section, insisting on respect for his rank. He warns an argumentative assistant with stern authority, threatening silence if pushed further. The scene emphasizes discipline and hierarchy in the workspace.
An advertisement touts Nerviline as a universal remedy for muscular and joint pains including stiff necks lumbago and earache. It claims instant relief with a 25 cent trial bottle and cites a Caledonia testimonial from Mrs B J Grayden praising its efficacy for family ailments over years.
A Western paper advertisement seeks a man to undertake the sale of a new patent medicine. The advertiser guarantees profitability to the undertaker.
A rambling tale recalls a man who bought and proudly showed his barometer to his mother claiming it would tell when rain would fall, while the mother scolds it as an extravagance and blames Providence for the father’s rheumatism.
A boy's gilded skin at a religious festival caused pore blockage and fatal poisoning from the body's own impurities. The piece warns mothers against powder use and promotes Dr Chase's Ointment as an alternative that absorbs and heals without clogging pores.
A St Paul audience heard a speaker denounce Minneapolis motor car recklessness amid a claim of weekly urban fatalities. An English firm faced a high court swindling charge but was acquitted, with the Chief Justice harshly criticizing the methods while a London advertisement later appeared seeking special permission reference from the Lord Chief Justice.
Druggists offer Murine Eye Remedy in liquid form 250 size and Murine Eye Salve in aseptic tubes. The product markets to ease red weak watery eyes and eyelid irritation with soothing, non painful relief.
A father seeks guidance for his son’s future from a blunt sage. The test offers a theology book, an apple, a knife, and money to gauge preferences. The boy sits on the book, holds the knife, pockets the money, and eats the apple, revealing he is a natural-born lawyer.
A doctor who kept a pristine lawn hired O'Brien to lay a walk before his home. After a three day absence, the doctor demanded payment and condemned the work as covered in brave and dirt. O'Brien replied that any bad job of the doctor’s would be covered with gravel and dirt, too.
A playful exchange covers music and family roles with cornetist pianist zitherist and a joking misdirection about instrument skills. Willie deflects a debate on earth’s shape and Grace recounts a library misadventure involving a book request.
A quirky anecdote set around a census encounter. A woman insists she is as old as the neighborhood girls, prompting the census man to record Jane Johnson as old as the hills and depart with a wry note on aging and appearances. Then Faithful Aunt Venetia faces a luncheon cookery lesson about crabs and ptomaine poisoning. A crab note reads Miss Helen. The crabs were lively and some refused to be eaten.
A banquet tale about John Sargent the famous painter. A young lady praised a painting for resembling him and asked if it kissed back. He quipped that if it did not kiss him, then it was not like him.
An American admired a fine shepherd dog in Scotland and urged its owner to sell Nero. The Scot refused, noting Nero would not part with him. A tourist later bought the dog for less, but the seller jokingly claimed Nero would be back after a short swim home by avoiding crossing the Atlantic.
In a humorous exchange a Sunday school teacher asks Bobby for two elements of baptism. He answers water and a baby, reflecting a simple, rural humor scene from a past era.
The ad promotes Baby's Own Tablets as essential for infant health, claiming quick relief and cure of constipation indigestion colic and worms by regulating digestion. A testimonial from Mrs Jas Dovoche of Cache Bay Ontario supports the product, noting three years of use and preference for little ones. The tablets cost 25 cents per box and are sold by medicine dealers or by mail from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario.
A Scottish professor mocks students for not using observation. He dips a finger into a vile smelling chemical, has each student lick it to taste it, then reveals his trick by showing the finger he licked was not the same finger he tasted. The stunt exposes faulty methods and pride in observation skills.
Children suffer worms with visible symptoms and fretting. Mothers can detect infestation by the child's writings and behavior. The remedy promises prompt and efficient eradication and supports run down children.
A garbled dialogue hints at playful teasing between two youths. One boy jokes about kissing her for each step of the way, provoking an angry response from the girl who wears a hobble and scolds him.
A Western town minister read a pulpit notice about the regular Donkey Club session after service. Members were to line up and stare at passing ladies as is their custom, but the club did not meet that Sunday.
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