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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Cranbury Press
Location
Cranbury, New Jersey, United States of America
Date
Jan 12, 1912
Page
7
When you sense a cold approaching take Father John's Medicine at once. It boasts fifty years of success in treating colds and offers prompt relief for lingering symptoms and coughs. Free from alcohol or dangerous drugs, it positions itself as a safe family remedy and a wholesome body builder.
A humorous sketch depicts a dentist refusing to extract seven teeth. A mother-in-law joke leads to a punchline about discretion. The narrator parodies a biblical tale with a startled response from a woman and a cautious remark from a passing Samaritan.
Fragment from a humor column notes a joke about studying Russian and a doctor prescribing medicine to fight a cold. It also offers a wry marriage rule about choosing between love and practicality.
Baseball fans across the country are relieved that the annual sessions of the two major leagues are over and that magnates talk remains only talk. The New York meeting was lively, and despite a war scare there was real business transacted, with property interests worth millions not backing the two quarrelling magnates.
Garland Stahl known as Jake, Chicago banker and new Red Sox manager, is reinstated by the National Commission. He had been in the In Bad Club for failing to report in 1911 and played only charity games with Woodlawn Business Men's Association. He is restored to good standing without a fine.
Veteran Abe Attell eliminates rivals and pads his earnings as talk grows of a Kansas league joining old circuits. Topeka plans plant improvements with a sodded diamond next year while fans debate naming clubs and a Hague-like resolution remains unlikely. Willie Hoppe is praised as unmatched in billiards.
The ad explains kidney trouble signs and urges monitoring urine output color and volume. It promotes Doan's Kidney Pills claiming to regulate secretions and heal kidneys. A testimonial from Adalbert J. Perkins of Danielson Connecticut asserts severe back pain gravel passage and weight loss improved after seven weeks and remained cured for years.
Mrs Justwed offers to make pudding and sauce as Mr Justwed asks to call a doctor after a questionable exchange. The dialogue focuses on domestic kitchen action and a potential medical concern.
A newborn with widespread eczema was bandaged for eight weeks. After trying Cuticura Soap and Ointment the baby rapidly recovered, regaining hair and skin clarity within four weeks. Mrs. T. B. Rosser of Mill Hall Pa. endorses the treatment and invites samples from Cuticura Department 29 K Boston.
A country girl shows a new silk gown at her Christmas home visit and boasts it came from a poor worm. Her father, a laborer, replies with humor that he is the worm, highlighting humble origins. This anecdote from the Ladies' Home Journal frames pride in craft and Christmas hospitality.
A dialect filled quip from Puck notes marital misalignment with Brother Gaumpers confessing he and his wife cannot agree at the same time on any topic. The piece contrasts domestic discord with political loyalties suggesting faith in a husband amid opposition speaks to true loyalty.
A reporter recalls a scene where a cheerful child answers a probing question about her stepmother. The girl, Pollykins, responds with grace and humor, saying they fit well and that the stepmother “got us ready made,” reflecting a lighthearted end to a public curiosity.
The passage recalls a cautionary tale where the king suspects preservation by benzoate of soda after singing birds emerge from a pie. It is followed by a gimmicky health pitch urging readers to take Hamlin’s Wizard Oil to avoid catching a cold.
An advertisement promises pile cure with a money back refund if PAGOOINT MENT fails to cure itching burning bleeding or protruding piles in 6 to 14 days. Also notes Winslow's Soothing Syrup for teething and infancy relief at 25 cents a bottle.
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