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Newspaper
Cranbury Press
Location
Cranbury, New Jersey, United States of America
Date
Aug 26, 1910
Page
4
A collection of satirical snippets and advertising lines includes references to laxatives, tonics, and household products. It notes humorous exchanges with public figures and politicians, highlighting social absurdities and medical quackery in a clipped early 20th century voice.
A king who loved drinking water in a forest seeks politeness lessons from a young girl. After two failed cups, the jeweler crafts a three-handled cup with the royal crest. On the third visit the girl uses all three handles, prompting the king to reward politeness and popularize three-handled cups in shops and markets.
An old gentleman notes three siblings named Elizabeth Dorothy and Theodore. He explains Theodore means gift of God, Dorothy shares the meaning, and Elizabeth’s form Elaabeoth also conveys a divine gift, remarking the children indeed deserve their names.
A small red brick Quaker meeting house at Jordans in Buckinghamshire England sits in a wooded hollow and is tied to William Penn founder of Pennsylvania Americans find interest in its simple interior and peaceful history.
Whitewashed 17th century meeting house hosts two annual meetings one on the fourth Sunday in May and the first Thursday in June. Nearby Chalfont St Giles houses Milton's residence where Paradise Lost was written two miles northeast, and King's Farm, where William Penn wed Gulielma in 1672.
Washington reports ongoing rat extermination in San Francisco with no human plague cases for two years and four months and no rat plague for a year and six months. The effort employs about 30 rat traps, 8 000 in use, with 8 561 rats trapped in May, using bacon cheese and bread as bait. Poisoned bread distributed in sewers totals 27 452 pieces. City inspectors reinspect premises as authorities note improvements in cleanliness.
Detectives busted a trio including two men and a young woman who used hollowed paper boxes with holes to surreptitiously hide stolen goods. They operated at different counters and attached sale slips to the boxes to pass as legitimate purchases. About $3000 to $1000 worth of goods were recovered from their room.
A write up describes a classroom cutting game where boys and girls receive old magazines, scissors, paste cups, and folded paper brushes. Players cut images from magazines and mount them on paper to create new pictures, with prizes for the prettiest, funniest, or most artistic sheets.
In a terse exchange the speaker asks if a mortgage is being arranged for a suburban place, prompting a response that confirms intent. The snippet hints at a loan discussion or real estate negotiation context without fuller details.
Readable fragments reveal a clipped dialogue about affection and purchase. Characters Tommy and Panam discuss keeping someone dear and affording a white rag, indicating a domestic scene shaded by old time diction.
Uncle Ethan recalls a well known benefactor praised for generosity. He mentions the man’s habit of lending his plug hat to anyone, highlighting a habit seen as a symbol of his charitable spirit in the community.
Fragmentary note discusses social rule that widows should not remarry until their children are grown. Emphasizes expectations tied to family status and propriety in community.
A brief dialogue where Clarice wonders if George will still love her as she ages and he remains devoted since their engagement. Clarice asks if love endures, and their exchange ends with an uncertain, teasing exchange about the future.
A garbled dialogue mentions Goodman receiving work and a mine, Ruffon Wratz- Cleet mine, and a commission. The text is fragmentary with unclear context and actors.
Griggs recalls restraining a burglar with a hatpin while his wife kept the assailant at bay during the incident at the burg. The testimony confirms no direct gunfire occurred.
A humorous exchange wonders if polar regimens can live on a “light diet” of candles. The dialogue contrasts cold regions with meals that seem impossible. The joke highlights scarcity and wit in extreme climates.
A fragmented article suggests Pliny observed less thunder in winter and links rain’s nourishment to high nitrogen and aluminum in thunderstorm phenomena. Seloned claims thunder and hail carry nutrients, explaining rain’s fertilizing effect.
Fragmentary line suggests marriage tension or conflict, with a brief note about love or affection diminishing when a husband enters the home. Limited readable context prevents full reconstruction of events or names.
A vintage recipe shows a two part striped cake with white and dark batter and a spiced small cake mix. It lists butter sugar milk eggs flour baking powder cinnamon allspice molasses soda brown sugar and citrus zest with notes on mixing and rolling.
Simple advice on home maintenance and craft ideas. Enamel paint prevents bathroom rust on hooks. Rotate shoes to rest leather. Wash chamois with soapsuds to keep softness. Rinse dishes in cold water before hot water for easy cleaning. Prepare jelly in varied flavors for gifts. Reuse old kid gloves by padding to protect hands from heat.
Helps for the housekeeper offers tips on renewing faded green blinds with linseed oil, glazing and damp cleaning for fabrics, ivory carving with a lemony paste of sawdust, and safe glassware washing conditions. It warns against sudden hot water for glass to prevent cracking and advises edgewise immersion for delicate pieces.
The article extols a vacuum cleaner as a multipurpose aid, noting its use for cleaning clothes and scalp. It describes placing the blower on and sitting before the device to dry hair quickly, simplifying shampoos and leaving a clean result with minimal fuss.
A dessert method for custard jelly with gelatin and whipped egg whites set in a mold, served with cream or preserves, plus a loaf cake using cougar and cranberries. Cream sauce option includes beaten egg white and sugar.
A recipe suggests washing and chopping six firm carrots, then processing them with light brown sugar and lemon juice. Carrots are simmered slowly for about 114 hours to yield a sweet conserve.
Skin of lemons and orange pep skin cut into two inch shreds. Boil until soft then mix with one gill water and one ounce loaf sugar. Place on a flat plate and refrigerate until quite cold.
Instructional note on making a soft tea biscuit with blueberries using flour baking powder butter salt and sweet milk. Wash dry and flour berries before adding to dough. Bake quickly in a hot oven with minimal handling for tender results.
A New York politician felt compelled to attend a charity entertainment at an orphans’ home and endured a troubling evening. The boys’ band selection proved particularly distressing, prompting a wry remark about the orphans.
A reflective look at how many individuals voice intentions to do things to create content for daily life. The piece suggests that without plans and statements people would lack topics to share, shaping social discourse and personal identity.
The Lexington area in Kentucky grows about 20 000 acres of Cannabry Sativa for hemp with limited acreage in Lincoln Nebraska and California. Major European nations also grow hemp commercially. A U S Department of Agriculture bulletin explains climate soil sowing harvesting and fiber preparation to encourage farmers outside the hemp belt to grow hemp.
Staging brackets use 2 by 4 scantling assembled as a right angle with bracing and stakes to lift scaffolding alongside buildings. The text compares time to erect scaffolding with doing small jobs and suggests substitutes from farm scraps. Rotation yields at Minnesota station show 15.6 to 266 bushels per acre over periods, with manure improving three year rotation. Gardens in Boston area show celery costs and density for acre plantings. legumes enhance soil by fixing nitrogen and humus.
The article urges clean cultivation and diversified cropping with Denmark cauliflower seeds and Danish or other imports. It highlights farm specialization, crop protection from sun and wind, and the value of manure, careful spreading, and continuous effort for steady, practical progress in farming.
A historical note states that while surface temperatures vary, the temperature at the bottom of the sea remains practically constant throughout the year. The finding implies uniform deep-sea conditions regardless of seasonal changes above.
The Standard Oil Company trains every room with dictographs to cut waste and speed decisions. The system lets officials consult across departments from their desks, reducing idle time and improving efficiency nationwide. High officials in Washington and several state governments have adopted the device.
A Paris Academy report compares Rhone losses over twenty years before and ten years after hail cannon use and finds no reduction. The practice in France and Northern Italy persists despite scientific demonstrations of its futility, with significant investment and optimism among vine growers.
A brief Washington Herald excerpt presents a dialogue about leaving marks versus covering tracks as a metaphor for legacy and concealment in public life. The exchange features a character named Nix and a narrator discussing lasting impact.
The St Paul creamery industry is a major butter producer second only to Omaha in annual output within the city. Nearly ten million pounds are produced each year from cream shipped from across the state and portions of Iowa and South Dakota, with growth expected to reach twelve million pounds.
The War Department moves to strengthen Corregidor and Manila harbor defenses with twenty coast artillery companies from Port Shuller renowned for artillery practice, aiming for more efficient defenses than during Dewes voyage.
Ingenious descriptive time tables issued by a Western rail road place scenic photographs between arrival figures. Descriptions of places and scenes along the route appear opposite times with an altitude program at the top of each page. Popular Mechanics notes the feature.
A Chicago News note traces the term interview to Joseph McCullagh of St. Louis and notes Britannica’s claim of its rise in England in the 1890s. A Nation writer in 1869 may have first used it in its current sense, with a quip from the Younker Statesman.
A line from the Louisville Courier Journal asserts poets of the stately variety fail to captivate the final reader, noting that such statues do not interest the ultimate consumer.
A quoted debate jokes about paying legislators for Senate votes while contrasting views emerge. The exchange features a man with whiskers and another with a double chin, satirizing corruption and political rhetoric. References to Life and Seneca frame the quip about distraction and risk.
Joseph C. Sibley former congress candidate in Pennsylvania Twenty-eighth district is arrested on a conspiracy to debauch voters charge. Also named are Charles Crandall D M Howard and George M Dunh with secretary Frank H Taylor as co defendant. Sibley earlier reported spending 32500 district wide and 17000 in Warren county to secure his nomination.
Former President Theodore Roosevelt spoke to about 10 000 people at the Oriskany Grange picnic in Herkimer and Oneida counties, voicing opposition to Republican leaders led by Vice President Sherman. His remarks followed a Taft letter to Lloyd Griscom, intensifying political clash in New York state.
G Frank Hewey a wealthy local farmer fatally shoots his wife and her driving horse then kills himself after a prolonged family feud. He and his wife were found in the carriage with bullets to the heart and a rifle near Hewey, ending a years long dispute.
In Brooklyn a car carrying five people jumped over raised gates at the Merrick Road crossing and was struck by a construction train on the Long Island Railroad. J Berthon, 50, Rebecca Glass, 9, and Bertha Weiss, 11, all of 17 Livingston Place Manhattan, died. Eight others were seriously injured including two other car occupants and construction workers.
Sloke Smith wins the Georgia governorship, defeating incumbent Joseph M Brown who previously beat Smith after Brown was removed from the railroad commission amid railroad influence disputes. The campaign pitted Smith's progressive faction against Brown's established bloc.
Major General Frederick D. Grant proposes a national law authorizing the federal government to requisition private automobiles carrying four or more persons for troop movement in wartime, as outlined in his annual department report.
William Miller of Brooklyn drowned when a canoe carrying Arthur Champion and a young woman capsized in Shark River near Asbury Park. The drowning occurred after the vessel overturned in the river and Miller did not survive.
Toledo and Miltonburg report a sensational case as Rev. A Hauberlech, a young prominent pastor, was arrested on a theft charge filed by a classmate. Hauberlech confessed to the theft.
Hugh M. Ber caw, a retired minor worth $250,090 is held in Martinsville Indiana on a burglary charge. He is accused of being detected in the act of stealing from Benjamin Pavey’s store.
In an age of canals a Grand canal allegedly dug by Chinese in ancient times is described as 650 miles long with banks that have supposedly remained intact for centuries, though the text blends exotic claims with historical ambiguity about early European civilization.
A terse humorous line suggests men missing fur would lead to women finding playful ways to rub it the wrong way, reflecting a cheeky social quip about gender and appearance.
Axiomatic entry describes Gussle in an elaborate fancy dress, startling the doorkeeper with his odd appearance. He strides from his car to the town hall, declaring himself Charles the First as startled onlookers react with astonishment.
The catacombs of Rome stretch about eighty miles and reportedly hold six million bodies. Used as hiding places during Nero’s persecutions, they later housed those with no safety in daylight. The art is simple, with Bible illustrations marking the tombs as a pictorial Bible.
Mayor William S. Jordan urged optimism at a Democratic banquet in Jacksonville. An anecdote compares a missionary’s ticking clock to the inevitability of pay day, underscoring the call for hope and diligence amid hardship.
A youth recounts being treated harshly by peers while acting as company president at school. She notes she resigned but was fired before leaving the role.
An advertisement extols Dean's Kidney Pills as vital for health, citing a Mrs. Sophia Hultquist from Jamestown who improved from near death to full recovery in six weeks after using the product. It urges readers to buy at 60 cents a box from Foster Milburn Co. Also included is an unrelated hotel anecdote about Bjornson and a cautionary quote about a capgoing man.
A Sage laments summer duties as he must remember to water many plants while they are away. Solomon sighs and Sterewich questions wisdom as the workload weighs on him.
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