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Newspaper
Covington Republican
Location
Covington, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Mar 03, 1911
Page
6
Advertisement offers a free recipe to cure weak kidneys and bladder issues. Claims rapid relief from pain and multiple symptoms and invites readers to request the prescription via mail from Dr A B Robinson in Detroit. Uses urgent, confident tone typical of old ads.
A Northern constituency member rejected a supporter’s claim of never speaking in the house. He produced the last debate report as proof and highlighted the "Hear, hears" marks in his speeches, declaring that any day he speaks is reported in the papers.
A fragmentary clippings piece voices a hotel patron about a waiter expelled from his brotherhood over a misinterpreted smile and a joke about tipping. Garfield Tea is pitched as a gentle laxative and patent medicine, urging readers to take a cup before retiring as a cure for constipation amid otherwise unrelated lines about love and bridal parties.
Mrs Ollie Goddall of Morton's Gap Kentucky reports two years of severe backache and weakness. After using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and Liver Pills she regained health and performs all chores. The ad urges others with backache to seek root relief and contact Mrs Pinkham for confidential advice.
Crop reports from Castor to Yellow Grass note high bushel gains per acre. Farmers like J Lane and J Hamilton thresh vast totals, while districts such as Fertile Valley, Pincher Creek, and Moose Jaw show averages from 23 to 39 bushels per acre on wheat oats and barley.
Admiral Mahan spoke at the Immortals' New York reception arguing that only competent critics can offer worthy criticism. He said ignoble critics ruin even the finest works. A bar patron praised a famous American journalist whose paper recently produced two winners last week, sparking comment on notoriety.
The article argues no single breed suits all farms due to varying conditions. Dual purpose breeds like Plymouth Rock Wyandotte Rhode Island Red and Orpington are best for general farms, with emphasis on rigorous selection, marking, and record keeping. It warns against switching breeds and stresses improving current stock through careful breeding practices.
A Milwaukee resident praises Doan's Kidney Pills for curing chronic kidney troubles that caused burning urination headaches and giddiness. The ad urges readers to remember Doan's and lists Foster Milburn Co as the maker. Denominational puzzle feature notes a Unitarian-era cook mix up oats and porridge in a humorous anecdote.
A witty exchange contrasts a pianist who plays with his toes with a boast about an 18 month old child capable of the same feat. The remark underscores surprising talents and humorous bravado in a casual social moment.
G M Macfarland of New York City reports intense itching and red blotches on face and scalp, worsening to scaly, dry and burning lesions. After trying other soaps and two doctors, he used Cuticura Soap and Ointment for two months and was entirely relieved, endorsing the remedies.
Casper correspondence reports an unusual early emergence of rattlesnakes across central Wyoming due to a warm spell. Ranchers and locals have killed many, an occurrence not remembered by the oldest inhabitants. Also mentions Pettit's Eye Salve advertising eye inflammation relief.
Ella argues there are as good fish in the sea while Stella notes you need a pull to land them. A quip about the Chicago Fire says it could have been prevented with one pail of water, but the water was not handy. A plug for Hamline Wizard Oil promises to prevent inflammation.
A witty line asserts that if a man's wife can read about politics without wishing she were a man, he will never enjoy the pleasure of being henpecked. The quip hinges on gender expectations and domestic dynamics for humorous effect.
A St Joseph Gazette note describes a wife pleading with police to locate her husband who left for work and did not return by eight. She asks officers not to arrest him or talk cross, citing concern since it is his first such absence and providing a description of the man.
A humorous musing on wireless as a future all in one medium. The excerpt jokes that wireless will replace telegraph, telephone, and even thought transference, and notes one limitation it will never share: wire pulling remains exclusive to wired systems.
A home remedy article promotes Dr Caldwell's Syrup Peptone as help for common childhood constipation. It claims the remedy cleanses bowels and strengthens stomach muscles, with free samples by mail from Dr W B Caldwell in Monticello Indiana.
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