03 Feb 1886
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Connersville Times
Location
Connersville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Feb 03, 1886
Page
1
A long passage recalls a man suffering from cancer and various illnesses while doctors and quacks fail to help. The tale shifts to a humorous exchange about a so called artificial brain and a skeptical response from Mrs. Wigglesworth who notes the news with quiet curiosity.
The drastic pills are rapidly replaced by Dr Pierce s Purgative Pellets sold by all druggists with similar promise of relief and gentler action.
An elderly parishioner complains that sermons fail to reach him as he sits near the stove. He notes the crowd, including Miss Smith and Mrs. Bylan's daughters, consuming the sermon with open mouths while he receives little of it.
An advertisement urges readers not to ignore a cold, claiming Ely's Cream Balm can cure chronic catarrh even when symptoms burden the sufferer. The product is described as radical and scientific, applied to the nostrils with a finger and priced at fifty cents.
Maud declares she will join Nicefellow for the first sleigh ride, while he boasts expertise in handling horses and safety, joking about masterful control and holding reins between his teeth.
Regional reports praise Dr Bull’s Cough Syrup for improving health across the state. The ads claim the tonic costs 25 cents and uses salation oil as part of the cure, while a man tends to a woman’s ailing head.
A bashful young man frets when asked to sing as a severe cold slows him. He explains drinking from a damp glass caused his illness. The tale recalls a minister at a camp meeting who slept in a field and caught a cold after doors were left open.
The ad claims Hood's Sarsaparilla relieves dyspepsia by dispelling its causes and toning the digestive organs. It emphasizes the mental distress caused by the condition and asserts thousands are thankful for the medicine.
The head usher declares a good deal of money in the house while the manager jokes that most patrons are deadheads. The exchange highlights a contrast between expected audience revenue and actual box office turnout.
A card promises a free recipe to cure nervous weakness early decay and loss of manhood. Claimed to be discovered by a missionary in South America and invites readers to send a self addressed envelope to Josuit T. Inman Station D New York City dated July 15.
A New York market buyer accused a turkey seller of stuffing a heavy pipe into a 20 pound bird to cheat him. The dealer defended the turkey’s weight and sanitation, while warning the man to leave the premises. The episode ends with the customer venting his ire. The piece is followed by lore on Teotihuacan heads and a critique of the saying too many irons in the fire.
The scene shows Mrs Pugmire and Ma Matilda debating Dr Pasteur's theory of inoculation for hydrophobia. They recall old snake bite remedies and distrust vaccinations while awaiting Matilda’s suitor at the door.
In Texas Siftings a widow argues with a new conductor who refuses to let her daughter travel on a half fare. The girl is declared "no child" after a decade of traveling as a child passenger, prompting the widow to pay full fare while the girl appears to slip away in the corner.
A San Francisco woman bursts into a police station claiming her husband is missing then learns a drowned man matching his description was found at the morgue. She laments that she told him to soak his head, the first time he followed her advice.
The skull caps of Tunis are praised for bright color fine texture and durability compared with French and Italian caps. Tunisian and Spanish wool is spun into a soft thread knit or woven into cone shaped caps then oiled milled pressed nap clipped brushed and dyed in Tarwan to a deep crimson using local water.
In 1710 Steele notes the dinner hour shifts from noon to later times. Under George II it was 4 pm, George III’s era saw 6 pm, and George IV’s reign reaches 7 pm. The author imagines a future return to 10 am, and cites Ticknor on Sweden dining at 1 pm and Germany at 5 pm in 1835.
An irascible set of comic vignettes shows a tramp visiting farms and towns. A kindly farmer unthinkingly feeds him only to learn he resembles a lost cousin, while a second housewoman accuses him of theft and chases him away. A New York justice mocks witnesses, and a Sunday School scene ends with a boy quoting worms.
A Winchester druggist touts King’s New Discovery for Consumption after a patient, Mrs. Louisa Pike, recovers enough to walk six miles toward Bartonia. The column also records free trial bottles at A M Andrews’s and a gag about a suspected nonregular practitioner. A porch chat lines sneak in with Deacon Gilpin praising spring air and Squire McGill’s quip about paint on the porch floor.
Advertisement from Connersville Indiana touts Woolford's Sanitary Lotion claiming cures for many scratches in 80 minutes. Sold by D Rawls, druggist, with a July 8y1 date.
A teacher tries to explain simple division to Johnny by sharing an orange with his sister and Johnny answers with a humorous misinterpretation, saying he would give her "a suck."
Client worries the suit will ruin them as the lawyer insists on pursuing the truth if possible, prompting a tense exchange about the stakes and methods in the case.
An old advertisement touts Griggs Glycerine Salve as a guaranteed cure for cuts bruises burns and all wounds. It claims to cure piles tetter and skin eruptions with a money back guarantee and lists A M Andrews as the seller. January 2011.
An Austin philanthropist questions Jim Webster about his imprisonment. Webster explains he was jailed for finding Colonel Yerger's watch, prior to Yerger losing it, noting the irony that finding a watch is not a crime but happened before the loss.
In Cape Town the leaves of a certain cactus are used as permanent visiting cards. A caller scratches the name onto the glossy green surface with a pin or knife. the lines turn silvery white and endure for years. On New Year’s Day ladies collect cactus leaves to separate calls.
A Toledo grain operator known for his glossy black hair died after long use of a hair-dye that hid gray. The dye contained a deadly poison. when he drank hot tea and coffee the liquid drew poison from his mustache into his stomach, causing inflammation and death.
The text notes that spiders were once used as a rural remedy for ague with methods in Ireland England and Lincolnshire including spiders rolled in treacle paste or worn in a bag. It also claims one Rothschild possesses the finest pearl collection in the world.
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