Mad shopper finds mothballs instead of golf balls
A department store caller ordered gale golf balls for Sunday. On arrival at the club the package contained mothballs, leaving the man amused and irritated as he confronted the mix up.
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Newspaper
Choteau Montanan
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Sep 07, 1923
Page
3
A department store caller ordered gale golf balls for Sunday. On arrival at the club the package contained mothballs, leaving the man amused and irritated as he confronted the mix up.
An advertisement promotes Dr Kilmer s Swamp Root as a pure non stimulant herbal kidney liver and bladder remedy in teaspoonful doses. It claims strict purity with every bottle and offers a sample for ten cents, urging readers to mention the paper. The notice ends with a light wear and tear joke about a watch guarantee depending on daylight saving time.
An advertisement claims using Red Cross Ball Blue in laundry will give a dainty well groomed appearance that appeals to girls, urging mothers to use the product for their daughters.
A look at how works once dismissed rise later in fame. The piece cites O Henry, De Maupassant, and other writers whose early stories were torn up or overlooked, yet some became celebrated. A quip about a married man and his wife’s spending rounds out the brief.
A guide outlines proper dinner guest etiquette including timely replies to invitations, arriving early, seating by the hostess, and how to handle courses. It notes differences between American, English, and French customs, then switches to a health rule requiring sterilization of finger bowls in Oregon after use.
A rainy day prompts Mary to believe the sun is hidden. Aunt Alice persuades her to smile, and a dreamlike garden arrives where fairies vow to make sunshine indoors by sharing happiness. Betty awakens Mary, and they play, learning to make their own sun shine.
Etymologists debate Ada origin from Adali meaning ornament or Teutonic Oda meaning rich and Ide meaning happy. The piece traces Ada through Audur Alda Ida and Boulogne links, notes Ada as English in origin, and cites the ruby as talismanic for courage and luck with Wednesday and the number 3 as lucky. It closes with a 1921 forest land burn statistic.
The American silk mission to Japan spurs a new silk bureau in Tokyo and measures to improve raw silk quality and marketing. Silk reelers push quality upgrades and smaller mint amalgamation is under way as production surges from 190 million yen in 1912 to 950 million yen in 1922.
Advertisement states Red Cross Ball Blue should be used in every home to whiten clothes without damaging fabric and notes it is available from all good grocers.
A mother chastises Billie for yesterday and hopes for better today. Billie replies that yesterday he did not like himself, revealing a moment of self-awareness and a gentle family exchange.
An advertisement touts Bayer Tablets of Aspirin with unbroken packages and proper directions. It notes handy boxes of twelve cost a few cents and druggists sell bottles of 24 and 100. The product is Bayer’s trade mark for monoacetic acid ester of salicylic acid.
The Transvaal has produced 695 million pounds of gold in fifty years, with only about 30 thousand pounds attributed to the Rand. In the last year output reached 81,871,587 pounds, mostly from a reef line 69 miles long from Gedald Springs to Randfontein, averaging over half a million pounds per year per mile.
An old advertisement touts Fletcher's Castoria praised as a safe substitute for narcotics like Castor Oil Paregoric and Teething Drops. It claims 380 years of use, no narcotics, and physician approval with a signature on the genuine product.
The scout cruiser Detroit will abandon hammocks for bunks that fold away to save space. Each sailor will receive a personal locker to store belongings rather than packing items in a bag, marking a shift from traditional shipboard habits.
A practical instruction describes removing fingerprints from painted surfaces by wiping with a kerosene-dipped cloth and finishing with a cloth wrung from hot water.
A capable manicurist enjoys strong demand with steady clients and growing appointments. Trade notes highlight skilled prep, precise polish, and repeat customers driving ongoing bookings. The piece emphasizes steady local demand and professional reputation.
A humorous snippet from Lustige Blaetter Berlin contrasts romance with music. The speaker jokes that pearls are tears and recalls crying to her husband to obtain them, tying romantic idea to material gesture.
Mrs Charles Butler of West Philadelphia describes severe back and abdominal pain and fatigue last spring. After trying Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound she reports renewed strength and better mobility and continues using the product and Liver Pills. She asks for a copy of Lydia E Pinkham's Private Text Book upon Ailments of Women.
Penguins are gradually returning to southern African islands after wartime disruption. Prior guano deposits, built up by colonies disturbed by constant gun practices from warships and defense forces, are resuming as penguins reclaim their former haunts and guano yields rise.
An advertisement promotes Cuticura Soap for the complexion and scalp, Cuticura Ointment for occasional use, and Cuticura Talcum for fragrance. The trio is pitched as a complete toilet regimen for clear skin and soft hands.
A gossiping London playwright known for dissecting others plots attacks Shakespeare at the Savage Club. An elder critic retorts that if the playwright could lift one of Shakespeare's plots and craft a play, he could expose him. The quip ends with a wry note on ideal timing and talent.
A compact saying notes time equals money and argues against branding a lazy person as stingy, framing efficiency and fairness in financial terms.
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