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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Oct 12, 1911
Page
2
A series of satirical observations from Choteau Montana comments on society and trends. The column jokes about false eyelashes, aggressive motorists, a half million estate, women in leadership, an aeroplane death, a proposed giant ocean liner, a snake as mouser, and urban quirks like a Chicago conductor honored with a gold medal. He notes a western man losing his wife in New York, New York's drinking index, and a punchy look at modern life.
The item notes a New Jersey law that bans birds on women’s hats, suggesting alternatives will be chosen. A St Louis clergyman is bitten by an insect ending a wedding, a Tacoma cyclist defeats a wild cat, and a French aviator defeats an eagle in battle. Squirrels are blamed for Kansas corn crop losses. the piece argues other pests would do the same if not squirrels.
A Pennsylvania book agent reaches the hundred year mark, a milestone that tests his fortitude against forthcoming satire and witticisms printed about him.
Mary Maclane remarks on slang usage as a literary impression and cautions against embracing phrases like “Take it from me” for discerning readers. The statement reflects her view on language and public perception within a nine year period.
A dramatic rescue as a man from Oblo tears his shirt to flag down a stalled train and prevent wreckage. Officials note the act is commendable but warn that flagging a train in an emergency may violate regulations, signaling a potential penalty or citation.
The New York Tribune reports a woman seeking pensions for five husbands who served in the Civil War. She appears to be attempting to turn marriage into a pension scheme, presenting a controversial, possibly fraudulent notion.
Ohio authorities commit a man who claims to have invented a telephone to contact heaven. The incident highlights concerns that if every beliefs about cosmic listening are confined, asylums may overflow.
A convention debate questions why plumbers earn less, suggesting the core issue is infrequent tool returns to shops. The discussion centers on wage gaps and the impact of equipment turnover on earnings.
In South Carolina a clergyman prayed for rain with such impact that farmers nearly sought an injunction to stop his prayers fearing damage to their cotton crop. The incident showcases how humor can prevent people from taking themselves too seriously.
The Cardinelli vendetta unfolds as a Sicilian curse of death messages from the Other and a series of killings in Brooklyn and New York. Vincenzo Cardinelli fears a fourth strike while police close in on a possible suspect, as the case links to black hand threats and a barrel murder in earlier years.
Board members at Frank A. Vanderlip's National City Bank discuss a $600000 appropriation for the West Haverstraw facility. Dr C S Little reports 32 inmates from Randall's Island arrive and notes plans for a state league including Rome and Sonyea. He aims to use inmates for work and sport with safeguards.
In New Orleans a lavish funeral for Ching Sing, secretary of the Chinese Masonic lodge and a wealthy local Chinese businessman, drew tens of thousands along Canal Street and at the cemetery. Masons conducted rites with cooked food offerings, tom-toms, incense, and banners, and the body was later shipped to China.
Martha Quis four years old in INFIELD dies after suspected dog bite and rabies illness. Toto the terrier, her longtime companion, vanished days before and prompted the girl to fall into delirium. Doctors concluded hydrophobia and chloroform anesthetized her until death.
Boston authorities announce a special effort to exterminate flies, claiming 150000 to 200000 killed already and a goal of 600000 by season's end. Prof. Washburn notes a hibernating female fly can lay at least 120 eggs in spring, illustrating the insect threat as a looming scourge on cities worldwide.
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