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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
May 25, 1911
Page
2
A collage of snappy observations spans fashion fads like harem and hobble skirts, radium uses, odd crimes in Texas, and a Connecticut unusual happening. It notes streetcar slips, New York doctors promising better boys by breathing, and a playful jab at old versus new slang and methods.
A race is arranged for amputees traveling from Minneapolis to St Louis. The note frames it as part of a grand modern era effort. It underscores the ongoing social and athletic initiatives of the twentieth century.
A New York office boy risked $50 000 in a Wall Street speculation but lost $20 000 of it the next day. The young trader remains active and still fooling around in finance.
In New York a woman seeks to prove her love for a man by presenting letters in which she refers to him as her ugly monkey and curly bear. She contends the phrases show the depth of affection and the splendor of their bond.
An astronomer suggests comets are mainly dust. collisions with them are not dangerous. He notes the solar system appears as if it needs a vacuum cleaner to sweep up cosmic debris.
In Winsted Connecticut a fisherman says a pickerel struck at his nose, mistaking it for bait. The anecdote riffs on the idea that the fisherman's nose is unusually brilliant, prompting the unlikely incident.
The new law raises the pistol carrying fee in New York from $2.50 to $10 with little expectation of reducing shooting incidents. Experts note that enforcement levels largely determine effectiveness, not the fee itself.
Sir Hiram Maxim extols pork and beans as a great American dish and muses that an authority abroad may someday elevate it, making Americans or ashamed that tradition has dulled its hidden sweetness and light.
A jilted Brooklyn man sues for time lost in courting a woman who defends her change of mind as a constitutional right to pursue happiness. Courts have upheld this right, dating before creation itself.
King Sodukh Chon Fa Maha Za jiravudh of Siam thanks an American envoy for attending his late father's cremation. He hints at sending more representatives to oriental cremations but cautions Siamese court etiquette should not force an American to mispronounce His Majesty's given name.
Jim Lillis famed as a bank sneaking prodigy, now 61, says he has quit crime after seven prison terms. Born 1855 in Ireland, he rose with Joe Butts to a bold Chemical National Bank theft and later joined the London band of crooks. Now in New York, he seeks lawful work and faith in a new life.
Army and Navy engineers study how muzzle droop occurs in wire wound and built up 12 inch guns. Experiments show wire wound guns droop about 44 minutes of arc, built up guns about 244 minutes. Temperature differences inside the gun bend the barrel, affecting the initial projectile path for hundreds of yards.
After an election a large crowd gathered at a North Carolina courthouse to witness the official tally. An adding machine was used to count the votes drawing distrust from rural attendees who had never seen such a device. A defeated candidate remarked that the blame separator cheated him.
At a hotel breakfast John G. jokes that a tough steak resembles an infringement on the Goodyear patent, laying down his cutlery and making the quip to the table about patent law in a light diner remark.
In a witty courtroom anecdote, the late Lord Young recalls a counsel claiming his bibulous client, a waterworks manager, is highly trusted. The judge replies dryly that he seems capable of handling any amount of water. The remark is praised as one of the bench’s best.
Puck recounts a scene where a husky porter confronts the robber, exclaiming the culprit tried to flee without a tip after exiting a car. The exchange shows a stubborn outlaw and a quick witted porter in a tense moment on the train.
Mrs Parrot and Mrs Ostrich discuss being away from the nest. Mrs Ostrich asks why and explains she will be absent for several days and Mrs Hippo offers to sit on the eggs.
A poetic reflection contrasts fate and change with the paradox of building as an adult with bricks and as a child with blocks. The piece contemplates growth, structure, and the shifting meaning of creation across life stages.
A story portrays a wife believing her husband dead after a railway wreck. He returns alive and well. She later counters an order for an automobile she planned to buy with his insurance money, a purchase that triggers her tears.
A collage of short handwritten ads and notices from a 19th or early 20th century page. Items include dinner invitation phrasing to Mrs Oamley, rental notices for desirable apartments, a regional cooking specialty, cider vinegar, peaceable picketing, a sale on all wool suits, and a formal handwritten letter closing.
A conversation quotes Senator Sorghum asking to tell people nothing on return, hoping they reciprocate by not sharing details, signaling a desire for discretion after political exertions.
A cartoonist's depiction of a Chinaman prompts questions about racial stereotyping and audience recognition. The exchange questions whether a cartoon can clearly signal ethnicity to readers without explicit cues.
The Star notes a manager announces the return of their leading lady for another season. the manager clarifies he is not a theatrical boss but a cook’s recommender.
A whimsical verse fragment describes Mary marrying a man who becomes so bald that his direction cannot be discerned. The playful line suggests a joke about appearance and marriage.
A humorous aside in a Milwaukee paper wedding notice cites Jane Lowell Louis Lee and muses on turning the announcement into a yodel. The quip highlights local social notices and playful tone.
A friend tried the suggested German nerve remedy but found it too tonic and too strong for his nerves. The person noting this recalls the remark as a cautious candid response.
A humorist laments fashion changes for men and women as skin tight pants corset coats rouge and hair styles arrive. He fears he cannot be funny about fashions or women’s hips or beauty items, doomed to abandon humor as he sizes up himself.
A stern father teases Henrietta about Grinsum staying three nights and planning to bring his train home. The daughter responds with innocent joy and excitement at the prospect of his bashful, eager proposal and a possible happy arrangement.
A humorous exchange shows Brother Hardesty pledging to support the gospel with multiple church funds and in kind donations. He lists $15 for the organ, $6 for chandeliers, $5 for carpet, two tons of coal, janitor fund contributions, plus groceries for church suppers, and promises more.
A substitute chaplain prayed excessively in the house, far longer than the regular chaplain's two minutes. Speaker Cannon finally tapped the gavel and announced the petition would be approved, ending the proceedings.
Norah apologizes for not having Miss Giddy present as the caller quips about the tale being the biggest story yet told in a facetious exchange from a local page.
In court a claim upholds the seriousness of law while noting a reckless driver struck a rooster last week. Judgment includes fifteen dollars and costs.
A guidance note urges individual effort to reform the world begins at home. The author emphasizes starting with neighbors and small acts to spark broader change.
Two men joust over what to call their town. A St. Louis supporter insists the place isn’t a city, while his Kansas City counterpart protests the idea of calling it Saint. The exchange reflects local ambitions and identity.
A wry exchange compares office workers to guns as people come and go in an office. The remark notes that workers are “employed only to be fired,” using sharp metaphor to reflect workplace turnover.
A fragmentary dialogue centers on the saying youth must be served and asks why the youngest daughter in a three girl family often marries first, reflecting social expectations and gender roles.
A fragment notes December 15 where a doctor promises release in exchange for possessions and January 15 where Mary questions a robber billing $20 for ten visits. This terse item reads as a personal exchange note within a diary-like segment.
Dialogue shows Maud questioning the hatpin while Ethel says she uses it only during bargain rushes, reflecting a playful domestic scene in a period setting. The exchange hints at frugal fashion and thrifty shopping habits with a humorous tone.
The snippet hints at a wedding or engagement theme with Mayme knotting Will's tie and discussion of tying the knot. The dialogue suggests contemplation of marriage and a hopeful vow between the two.
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