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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Mar 30, 1905
Page
7
Acantha reports a curious item about the oldest doll in the country, discovered locally in Choteau Montana. The piece weaves satire and scattered notes on sayings and oddities, including a quip about Knox and Blackstone and a bizarre claim about a New Mexico well.
A Chicago woman who claims life breeds dwarfs brunettes and disease is described as a ravishing blonde herself in the era’s sensational framing. The remark ignites discussions on appearance and gender in public discourse.
A Cleveland woman notes dogs receive calling cards beside their owners cards. The lighthearted item cites a bachelor deemed evil and jokes the man should consult a doctor for romance.
The Boston Globe bemoans sidewalk sludge while odd items surface across cities. A baby of 18 months earned fifty cents daily in New York as sweatshop degradation is spotlighted. A tin can trust faces contempt charges, and Kansas City reports curious mishaps including a woman hiding five hundred nine dollars in a bustle.
A Chicago girl unexpectedly receives a $250000 inheritance and speaks of the experience like investing in Wall Street and reaping a return. Her story highlights surprise wealth and the emotional toll of sudden funds.
A New Jersey rooster crowing loudly warned a farmer that his henhouse was being robbed prompting the farmer to dispatch the watchdog. The loud alert and faithful guard dog helped deter or detect the theft in progress.
A Massachusetts court rules that a man consuming four drinks daily is addicted. The decision questions whether such a state is truly satisfying and suggests the term addiction may be applied to his drinking pattern.
A New York man petitions to change his surname from Smith to Cuyler. The remark about if he were a rich girl hints at social perceptions of marriage into titled foreign families.
A contemporaneous remark characterizes Japanese as simple and primitive, claiming they have not adopted the habit of hurling mud at heroes attempting to return home. The language reflects dated stereotypes and a confrontational tone about national character.
Bristol County Massachusetts reports its new jail unused since completion prompting discussions to sell the facility for conversion into an elderly housing project. Local officials consider repurposing as overcrowding concerns grow and budget figures are reviewed.
A New Jersey minister urges young women to avoid marriage until they know a man’s past, arguing it is safer to assess a suitor by his history rather than his current status.
The claim that trained monkeys can pick prunes in California faces skepticism from gardeners who note practical difficulties and ethics concerns. Observers doubt efficiency and safety for workers and animals, citing unpredictable behavior and potential harm.
The brief notes Mrs Hetty Green is fond of lunching on doughnuts and describes a cheap filling doughnut shaped like an additional cipher in commerce.
Alfred Austin's friends report Innes related matters are going well and Kipling has traveled to South Africa to assist, with Innes deemed comparable to any peer in the business.
The royal consort seems settled guiding affairs through those paid to manage state duties. He approves salaries for those handling government tasks while remaining largely out of day to day governance.
A countess graduates from Berlin University as a lady dentist, described with playful astonishment. The piece imagines her using an electric buzz saw on a delicate tooth, highlighting the novelty of such a noble professional.
A narrator confesses disbelief at Jack the apparent burglar caught in a Fifth Avenue mansion. He seeks to clear him and discovers Connie Calcium, once a merry soprano, is the key to the truth behind Jack’s supposed crime and sacrifice.
The passage recalls Jack sacrificing himself to shield Connie and her husband Vickersby from scandal. Connie had arranged Jack’s arrival in New York while her husband was away. when the husband returned, Jack’s actions preserved Connie’s reputation. Vickersby family later moved to Europe due to the lady’s health. Jack becomes a leading civil engineer in New York.
In Fall River a prominent cotton manufacturer’s memorial stands as a six to seven foot granite block carved to resemble a cotton mill. A friend quips that it lacks a fire escape, highlighting the unconventional tribute in a family plot at the cemetery.
A single son in a family grows convinced the home exists for him. His mother imposes stronger rules and uses a ruler on his hand. He endures and retorts with defiance claiming he does not care what he is even if he is a gas jet.
The Japanese see whiskerless men as a sign of higher development noting their almost eliminated whiskers. They value dense underbrush as nests for field mice and reject it as civilization. They learn politics warfare and horse racing without barber shop influence, suggesting unseen information. A beardless youth in this view is wiser than his bewhiskered father.
During Christmas holidays about ten or twelve years ago an instructor recalls Provost C. C. Harrison hosting a dinner for former Provost Dr. William Pepper. Harrison joked as Dr Pepper arrived saying My dear Dr Pepper, how glad you must be to see your friends all mustered.
Jean Maxwell once duchess of Gordon challenged the laird of Craigmyle during brick making. He replied in Aberdonian that the trousers were tight at first but loosening as work proceeds, a quaint local exchange about the bricks and breeks.
A mother questions her six year old about future plans. The boy, with humor, says he will marry and live with his wife's family. The exchange reflects cheeky insight from a child about marriage and in laws.
Miss Singleton tells a neighbor about a near midnight walk when she spotted a strange man ahead and ran hard to escape, nearly exhausting herself as dusk fell. Tommy, listening, asks if the man got away.
Dialogue depicts a humorous exchange about gifts and a single heavy shoe as a prudent choice. Percy explains his early departure from buying a pair due to his best girl's father being involved, suggesting restraint and a witty family dynamic.
In a comic Odd Couple exchange from Philadelphia Proass, Cassidy questions a mishap as Casey recounts an elderly woman hurling a plate. Casey defends it as an accident, noting she hit her target with purpose.
On returning from church Archie jokes that the best part of the service is passing around the money. He asks his father how much he ate and proudly reveals he got a dime. He receives a stern scolding and is told not to repeat the act.
A narrator tasks Marie with incubator duties as a club paper on a comical topic is announced. The exchange shows a spoiled household moment and a dismissive, self important mood from the Madam. The scene hints at eccentric domestic banter and a humorous tone.
Bills Smith praised as a great orator while Wills-Yes noted for weaker public speaking. The exchange hints at contrasting communication skills between the two figures.
A Houston Post quote describes Jones as a man who gives his children shoes and overcoats for Christmas, highlighting a stark portrayal of his character through a holiday gift gesture.
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