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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Mar 26, 1913
Page
4
The Louisville Courier Journal quips that there are two reasons to marry in a dress suit fashion and as a last chance to own one. The Cleveland Plain Dealer labels it pessimistic but finds it solid advice based on observation and experience.
Brown kept a mechanical piano near a front window and spent hours pedaling melodies. A neighbor teased Brown's son William about his father's piano skills, and William replied that the act wore his father's feet and made him sore.
A compact fragment set includes lines about money in writing for a magazine and postal support, a humorous aside on a track event, and a mythic allusion to Niobe, followed by a conversation about whether motor cars existed in ancestral times.
A wedding tale from the crowd recounts a newly married couple returning from their honeymoon to a East End apartment. A maid who knew the couple and the servant girl reveals the mistake when asked if the Smiths are engaged, blushing that they are already married.
Two gentlemen playing cards at a club left after a spectator took over their hands, then both original players returned to find the substitutes still at the game. A waiter revealed the missing players were in the next room playing cards.
A coal dealer complained after an ad misread the phrase fuel famine as fool famine due to a linotype error. The humorous mix up arose when a representative visited Mr Soandso and found his yards stocked with coal, avoiding fuel shortages.
A young girl sets the table for expected guests and asks if she should place three knives for Uncle John after being told to put down three forks at each place. She recalls past mealtime observations and seeks guidance on proper utensil arrangement.
A fragment shows a tense exchange where Johnny is pressed for aid to escape. A speaker taunts him, calling him a cheap skater and demanding a quarter for survival. The dialogue hints at a coercive confrontation and potential danger.
A resident with a notable thirst has abstained from drinking since January 1, seeking a remarkable personal dry spell. Local interest grows as the man maintains his pledge.
Dialogue hints a man’s crude joke about theft for a ring as women speak of wartime friction. A detective tone suggests social tension and a petty crime context in the era. The quoted exchange underscores gendered stereotypes and timing without explicit violence.
The Ladies' Club meeting is described as dull with a quorum of every member present. The joke notes there was no one to discuss, implying full attendance left no topics for discussion.
Mr Stormington Barnes admits stage fright when taking a new role. The manager advises not to perform tragedy, recalling a past incident when the audience became heated and took sides during a staged fight.
Reginald Vanderbilt rents a 7,000 square foot flat in New York. The note suggests concerns about the cost of coal and hiring a man to run the furnace.
A comic dialogue rails against the idea of funding a missionary to Korea with a $2 000 price tag. The opposing voice scoffs claiming far cheaper options exist in New York and mocks the mission appeal.
Short dialogue between a man and a woman about ending the man’s horse racing passion and choosing a better life. The exchange presents a moral resolution moment with no identified places or organizations.
A playful dialogue contrasts future promises with current marital habits. One character envisions frequent skating trips after marriage while the other counters that most husbands will likely only squeeze in a single outing. The banter hints at domestic expectations and humor.
A quirky note describes a man who avoids dancing the two step yet answers plainly when questioned, his quick side steps revealing a clever, nonverbal wit.
A reader recalls a comic memory of slipping in quietly at night only to be questioned by a surprised spouse. The anecdote notes the humor of stealth and family routine, ending with a light punchline about buns as a domestic misdirection.
A town debate cites teacher pay versus chauffeur wages. A speaker argues teachers deserve more than $70 or $80 monthly, noting chauffeurs earn at least $100 plus board and lodging, while teachers lack tangible rewards beyond education.
Briggs and a fellow discuss selfishness as a wife insisting on open room windows while wrapping herself in bed cloth. The exchange highlights a dispute over comfort and control in the home setting.
The scene features a witty exchange about the Speaker’s silence and the escort’s quip that those who utter little are often the best conversationalists, highlighting humorous commentary on political talk.
A winter girl is happy now. She gently purrs as the cold winds fade. The bruised smell of camphor lingers in her furs, soft and quiet in the air.
A student notes that audiences in Shakespeare’s era were disorderly. Mr Stormington Barnes replies with a wry joke, suggesting authors could write like Shakespeare but perhaps not perform it well.
A Western Canada paper notes a large number of residents leaving or planning to spend winter in California. Rail and ship lines report about twelve thousand travelers abroad for Christmas, including Scandinavian migrants with return tickets. Many farm families now affluent enough to afford a holiday across the border.
Mrs. Marsh asks Norah if she followed the receipt or guessed. Norah confesses she used six eggs instead of four to compensate two spoiled eggs, creating an even mix.
Dr J H Rindlaub is listed as a specialist in eye ear nose and throat care in Fargo North Dakota. The note mentions artistry as a contrast to length but says it’s different with most artists.
Thousands suffer from constipation and misuse harsh laxatives. Dr Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin offers a mild, non gripping remedy suitable for all ages. It strengthens and cleanses the system gradually, with guaranteed results or money back. Send address for a free sample from Dr W B Caldwell Monticello Ill.
The speaker argues Isabel is undergoing a visit to a beauty doctor, noting that her changing face betrays the procedure. The exchange implies concern or gossip about cosmetic alteration.
Ad copy touts Dr Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets as a 40 year old stomach and bowel regulator with sugar coated granules. The ad promises invigoration of stomach liver and bowels and markets the product as a long standing remedy.
The notice touts a remedy labeled Bromo Quinine as laxative with a claimed cure in one day for a curd and two days for grip. It mentions a signature FE. W. Grove and notes a porous plaster as inferior for a bad habit.
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