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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Mar 19, 1913
Page
9
A collection of jokes and short notes ranging from misprints and quips to light social curiosities. Topics include a St Louis sausage joke, a Russian prisoner in a milk can, marital remarks, airship schemes, dog meat rumors, Alps accidents, rat poison claims, a Chicago waiter’s fortune, pianos at auction, and various pithy social observations.
A British specialist claims Napoleon died from cancer effects. Postmortems a century later were deemed unsatisfactory. A Brooklyn girl set fire to a house seven times in seven weeks out of sadness, with grim hints about murder if her distress had been greater.
A Massachusetts centenarian claims the secret to his long life is eating Johnnycake. He says anyone able to eat Johnnycake is hardy enough to live to a hundred, and supports his outlook with his age and resilience.
Beachgoers recover about $2,000 worth of watches and diamonds after combing the Rockaway shoreline. A St. Louis bride interrupts her own wedding to promise not to nag her husband. A curious hobby, evidently.
Vertis reports airmen have been forbidden to fly over the palace at Isdam and other noble castles. The era of aerial policing draws near as enforcement tightens and new norms emerge after years of routine flights.
Editor William A. Radford offers free advice on building and design. The article describes a two-story, 26 by 41 foot house with four downstairs and five upstairs rooms, two staircases, built in closets, and an exterior cellar entrance, emphasizing convenience for ventilation and storage.
The article discusses ventilation by grate fires, direct hall to kitchen passageways, and year round use of doors with removable panels. It also describes front stair design in red oak, a single chimney serving furnace and ranges, and a comfortable central sitting room with window seats and thoughtful furnishing ideas.
A cryptic prompt invites readers to rush to learn about a railroad president who has never been indicted. The remark hints at a high profile figure shrouded in unanswered questions and public interest.
A persistent insurance agent tries to sell a life policy to a locomotive worker. He asks what would happen if two boilers exploded “this identical moment.” The driver warns the agent that if a blast occurred now they both could end up in the clouds, ending the debate.
The dialogue notes sea vessels are unique as they cannot make knots when they are tied up. The exchange highlights a maritime quip on nautical limits and practicality.
The diner recalls the moment he located the cheese by its aroma, noting the waiter’s prompt nose for clues and the meal’s surprising discovery.
A playful quip contrasts treating a cook as part of the family with joking that she is valued like three family members. The remark reflects domestic humor and social tone of the era.
A man weighs himself at a railway station and questions the placement of a prize guessing machine. He argues it spoils business foresight by exposing guesses before weighing elsewhere. The porter replies that the machine itself ensures outcomes.
A young woman describes how coffee aggravated headaches and stomach pain until she switched to Postum. She credits hospital use and later trials for relief, noting no further headaches while enjoying Postum with Grape-Nuts. The ad promotes Instant Postum, its preparation, and grocery availability.
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