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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Jun 29, 1911
Page
3
A jumble of quips and commentary covers topics from science to society. The piece jokes about cats in labs, corn pipe smokers, and a rise in cathed views of aging, while poking at politics in France Russia and the czar. It features playful lines on love work and household life.
A brief note reports that Wagner in English is promised for the next season though the reasons remain unclear due to unintelligible words. The item adds a quip about fox hunting trialists and local humor involving a jail sentence for smiling at a stranger.
The piece jokes that Chicago thieves who stole a 600 pound safe in the night should have pursued piano moving. It notes the Marquis of Landsdowne's Rembrandt, valued at $500000, may join the National Gallery or be brought to America.
A Illinois husband posts a $95 reward for the return of his missing wife and says that amount reflects what she is worth. The remark underscores his claim of loss and desire for her return.
A Chicago professor argues that financial scarcity is the root cause of marital strain. He notes that the feeling of lack acts as a bane and that wedlock shares this burden with many other life aspects.
Nearly two million brook trout fry are prepared for release into Wisconsin streams. If conditions hold, they will grow into two million mature fish later in the year, supporting local fisheries and angling.
Australian engineers showcase a machine that can milk a hundred cows in two hours while the milkmaid remains a figure of poetic imagination.
A Boston woman kept a trousseau intact for eight years, showing steadfast belief in the durability of fashion. The article notes her patience and the unusual longevity of her wardrobe choice despite changing styles.
A Montreal physician gave a pint of his blood to aid a patient in a life saving effort. The act reflects some doctors sincere hunger to cure and help those in need.
The piece argues that while fashion rulers may push the so called harem dress, no force will make women respond to such styling or chase social chatter, underscoring resistance to imposed trends.
A fragment notes a literary magazine exchange where critics question why a speaker says I know not where I am instead of I know not where I am at highlighting debates over idiomatic usage in American literature.
An English paper argues Americans lack humor, echoing a smug stance and prompting a retort that resembles a wise man’s rebuke. The exchange labels one as “another” in a sharp taunt.
A Canadian highbrow states that a temperature seven and a half above the earth is 90 degrees low zero as a warning to builders of skyscrapers.
Florence Sheedy, Denver socialite, to marry Isaac Townsend Burden Jr of New York. engagement announced amid family rivalries with sister Marie already married. The Sheedy fortune maker Dennis Sheedy and Burden family wealth from iron and inventions frame the match as Denver and New York high society watch.
The dancer Anna Pavlova sails to London after a successful American season. Goosh the alligator, gifted by New Orleans mayor to Pavlova, becomes her new mascot and will be cared for by two maids aboard the Mauretania. Pavlova believes mascots bring luck and notes Goosh is gentle with her.
An article notes a decade of reforms in New York State prisons including uniform changes, training programs, better living conditions, and replacement of corporal punishment with solitary confinement for rule infractions. It highlights updated facilities, medical care, and improved discipline under Frank M. White's World’s Work commentary.
The country has no fiber plantations in northern China and is divided into small five acre holdings. Each tract is not devoted to a single crop, and land is not wasted with fences. Boundaries are marked by corner stones or small heaps of earth.
Tom Daly in Catholic Standard and Times notes David Belasco’s The Girl of the Golden West inspired Puccini’s new opera. A New York critic praises Belasco while the playwright jokes that serving as Puccini’s librettist is an honor but not supreme. A quip about Arditi and Shakespeare follows.
Miss Smith visits the home of her diligent pupil Willie to inquire about his absence. The mother lightheartedly explains Willie is fine but has not attended school because he is busy studying his long and difficult lessons.
A light dialogue about a hedonist, recalling a vaudeville show where a performer walked down stairs on his head. The exchange frames the boy’s question and the father’s reply with humor about indulgence and entertainment.
A facetious man questions a shopkeeper about his clerk’s beliefs as he observes the clerk wrapping a bottle in a neat package. The proprietor admits uncertainty and asks back why the question. The exchange centers on whether the clerk practices a religious or spiritual rite during packaging.
Local scene centers on Mrs. Rastus Johnsing urging patience as Rastus hunts for a cakewalk razah. The snippet suggests a playful, colloquial exchange about getting to a cake walk event.
A new office boy tells the boss he does not know how many phones the two companies in the building use. The boss asks which one, and the boy replies he cannot tell how many there are, prompting a comic moment about the telephones.
A fragment notes a morning scene with the sun rising and a person lingering in bed. The tone hints at personal reflection on wakefulness and difference in routines between speakers. The source emphasizes a quiet domestic moment without events or actions.
A hobo pleads for a meal by offering to eat only the cat food. He tells a woman at a back door that if she provides the cat's scraps he will be satisfied. She replies with a sharp, practical retort and makes no promise of charity.
A shopper recounts a costly prescription issue while a window shop encounter leads to an accidental glasses breakage. The dialogue notes an apology and immediate amends.
The remark about a mother praising her child and a quip about "modified baby" hints at a fashion discussion centered on parenting trends and societal expectations. The dialogue suggests tensions between traditional childrearing and modern styling ideas.
A vaudeville joke riffes on early electricity and Noah and the ark, contrasting first gagster electricity with the flood. The humor hinges on a pun about ark lights and modern power.
A concise verse about a marriage born of money that shifts to love. A bride’s uneasy sighs reveal changing motives and emotional tension within a union framed by wealth and affection.
James Wilson, secretary of agriculture, opposed Latin at the new department building. As stone carvers neared completion, he ordered the Latin work stopped, insisting English suffices, per Popular Magazine.
A young teacher starts a slum kindergarten and asks the class if a cat wears fur or feathers. A dirty faced child questions her knowledge with a sharp, humorous groan.
A humorous caption from the Yonkers Statesman frames Edward as a crusty bachelor through a dialogue about eating bread crusts and childhood habits. The exchange plays on family teasing and self-deprecating wit.
A quip from a student about a professor asking what happens when a man's temperature drops to the lowest point. The student replies with the line, He gets cold feet, capturing a dry exchange about nerves and fear.
A short nostalgic note fondly recalls Clara Bell as a brunette of the past and mentions she is now a blonde.
A senator refuses Mrs Upperton’s social event despite possessing a card, arguing that attending would appear stale and awkward to onlookers. The exchange reveals social pressures and political tact in a public persona.
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