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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Feb 22, 1906
Page
2
A miscellany of snippets and quips from the era including aside remarks on a Gordon Bennett cup cancellation, jokes about money and tulips, a New York divorce case, a found Roman throne, moon and earth dreams, Admiral Togo as a sporadic orator, a Philadelphia divorce brawl, and stock exchange prices.
The discussion suggests France will elect a president with chin whiskers. The piece hints at France following American stylistic quirks. Morales notes he is the only official recorded who had troops sent after him when attempting to resign.
A baseball umpire from Meriden has won the mayoral race in Meriden Connecticut. The piece notes the unlikely career path from umpiring to city leadership and hints at local interest in notable residents.
A poetic line reflects on a farewell embrace between lovers as they face inevitable separations and multiple final partings, underscoring the tension between intimacy and impending endings.
An astronomer quips that Martian residents are far more advanced than people on Earth as humans likely shed their vermiform appendices long ago.
A Kalogeropoulos is named to the Greek cabinet, likely a cousin of the famed James J. Pappatheodorokummountourgeotopoulos of Chicago, with several syllables dropped in the surname.
Senator Clark declares he is once more a grandfather and plans to give the newborn one million dollars to start life. He says such a gift is what every grandfather would like to do.
Charles M Schwab moves into a $5,000,000 residence touted as the finest private mansion. The piece jokes that he cannot sleep in more than one bed or eat more than one meal at a time. It notes debates over whether a $1,000 income justifies matrimony.
A reflective note warns that without appreciation children may ignore safety rules, making potential dangers in the home worse. The writer emphasizes cautious behavior and gratitude as a deterrent to risky actions.
A Denver Post tale recalls Judge James J. Banks, a Birmingham native, who explains law by example. He tells a landlady she can delay eviction with due process, but insists on a $5 fee. The old woman declines, choosing to keep the advice and settle for food dollars.
Capt Eleazer Smith of Lynn Massachusetts collected autographs from famed Civil War figures incl Mosby Wheeler Johnston Howard McClellan and Hancock. The album contains letters from presidents Susan B Anthony Mark Twain and others, with notes by Lew Wallace and Washington Curtis.
An Indian medicine man Blue Dog uses fear and ritual to aid Dr Ralph Burnham as Kiowa Comanche raids threaten frontier settlements. Burnham treats epilepsy and later helps Burnham’s wife, who is miraculously recovered after Blue Dog’s ritual reveals her alive, guiding her to safety at the garrison.
The French embrace balloon travel with claims of safety at 7 000 feet where air is pure and beneficial for lungs. Count de la Vaulx notes steerable balloons reduce danger, cites high costs of silk envelopes and sheds as main limits, predicts aerial transport will become common within ten years.
G T Wilson recalls a Portland street collision of directions as he describes a humorous clash of waltz and two step etiquette. He recounts a near-miss where two pedestrians dodge right then left in sync and a passerby snaps, Hurry up. Which is it to be.
This poem argues against harsh judgment of someone who erred, suggesting a chance for redemption. The speaker notes the burden borne by the mistake maker and praises the one who owns fault over idle contentment. It emphasizes mercy, humility, and the value of trying to make amends.
S H Alexander who four years ago defended the Emma North Carolina post office from four armed burglars has been promoted from laborer to clerk in the Washington post office as a reward. An official statement details the circumstances as an additional honor.
A Chicago News item relays a French diner at an American restaurant feigning confusion over the meat phrase tenderloin. He jokes that the term is a hybrid of tender and loin meaning far from tender, provoking puzzled waiter reactions and polite sarcasm.
A caller claiming to tune the piano arrives at a home seeking access. Mrs. Banger insists she did not request any tuner. The caller confirms neighbors hired the service, causing confusion and concern in the otherwise quiet street.
Deepley invites Cheepley into a shop and offers to buy a cigar. Cheepley objects saying he does not smoke, but the gesture is to have the cigar ready for a future occasion.
Six year old Fanny returns from Sunday school with a puzzled remark about Bible beds. She jokes that Abraham slept with his four fathers, reflecting a child’s humorous misinterpretation of distant generations and a misunderstanding of lineage and names.
A humorous exchange on flirtation contrasts an innocent view with a cautionary tale about marriage consequences. The quip notes that playful flirting can unexpectedly lead to lifelong commitments, warning readers to consider potential outcomes.
A reader reports discovering a magazine titled What to Eat. The Philadelphia Bulletin notes details on where to obtain the publication and hints at its food-focused content.
A humorous quip recalls a lover caught in an awkward moment as a father interrupts a romance. The overture pivots on a pun about repeating partners and the father's casual remark, closing with light, old‑fashioned wit.
Dialogue from a Puck cartoon shows Mrs. Shark fearing her husband is doomed to life on the sea. Mrs. Halibut reacts with shock as the shark reveals he ate a cork leg ten days earlier before realizing it.
Miss Oldbird outfits her cat Phoebe with a tailored ar mor suit allowing safe night strolls without risk of injury to her wishbone or bones. The article notes improved safety and calmer companionship during nocturnal outings.
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