Fractured Bits of Wit From An Earliest Newswire
A collage of quips and observations touches on Edison and a Nobel prize, daylight wireless records, dangerous icicles, Chinese republic talk, a Connecticut Bible reader, and a New York birth rate claim. The piece riffs on modern folly and novelty without a single cohesive report.
Man Sues for Breach of Promise in New York
A man in New York sues for damages for breach of promise of marriage claiming the defendant failed to marry him after an engagement. The case notes suggest grievances about willingness to work and personal conduct.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Professor Lowell's Mars Canal a Thousand Miles Long
The claim posits a Mars canal measured at a thousand miles by Professor Lowell, contingent on measurement accuracy. The note hints at possible errors in length estimation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lowell
Mars
Clergyman Says Hobble Skirts Worse Than Beer
An Atlantic City clergyman declares hobble skirts are worse than beer noting no sensible man wears a hobble skirt and urging practicality over fashion folly.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Atlantic City
Public Health Advice Urges Fly Control and Safe Water
The article stresses typhoid vaccination while advising continued fly swatting and avoidance of tainted water to bolster public health measures. It frames vaccination as essential but not a sole defense, urging ongoing preventive actions.
Postal savings banks surpass risk with four million in reserve
The nation’s postal savings banks hold four million dollars for security, deemed safer than an old stocking with a hole. The figure underscores a shift toward formal saving methods over informal cash hoards.
Classical Education Said to Solve Life’s Problems
Dr. Eliot asserts a classical education helps solve life’s problems, yet despite many such educations, numerous problems remain unsolved.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Eliot
Chinese ballot reform sparks debate on spelling changes
Critics urge simplification of Chinese spelling before a ballot proposal can advance, arguing timing and literacy considerations must align with any constitutional or political shift.
New Yorker Dies Laughing at Joke
A New Yorker laughed himself to death after hearing a joke the other day. Officials say there is no indication the joke sters will be charged with any crime related to concealed weapons.
Temptations and Conservation in America Compared
A preacher comments that America has more temptations than Europe and notes no movement toward conserving national temptations up to date. He urges awareness of moral challenges facing the nation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
America
Europe
Mule’s Whisky Death Stuns New Jersey Farm
A New Jersey mule drank a gallon of whisky and fatally kicked himself. The animal allegedly realized its act lowered its status to human-like levels and chose death over life.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New Jersey
Coons Hunter Calls for Scientific Forestry in Arkansas
An Arkansas coon hunter laments heavily thinned timber reducing hunting activity and notes he now keeps only five dogs. He argues this proves the need for scientific forestry and better forest management.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Arkansas
Perfect wife not found nor perfect husband tied in
Paragraphers note that the chase for a flawless spouse continues as readers doubt the existence of a universally perfect partner. The piece hints at humorous skepticism about matching ideals in marriage.
Property in Pearl and Egg Yet to Be Resolved
Courts must decide if a pearl found in a clam bought by a man belongs to him or the restaurant owner. Doubt remains whether an egg laid in a barn by a hen belongs to the barn owner or the hen’s proprietor.
Sage cashes in on century old fortune and finds no joy
Elizur Sage, who received $50 000 from an inheritance, recalls his rise from poverty and the social strain that followed. He invested mainly in land in Indiana and Ohio, owning two Indiana farms near Rensselaer and a 160 acre Ohio property. Despite wealth, he says happiness faded after the windfall and notes the lure of quick schemes and the loss of youthful peace.
What to Do With Fifty Thousand Dollars in 19th Century Style
Russell Sage left his nephew Elizur Sage fifty thousand dollars in cash five years ago. He did not squander it. He says schemers got some but most went into land which increased in value. He remains cautious, untraveling, and finds wealth a burden. He asks what one would do with fifty thousand something.
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Russell Sage
Sage
Elizur Sage
New York Museum
Eng Klizer
Telizur Sage
Chicago Board of Trade
Sexton
Chicago
Will County
Ilinois
Indiana
Linois
Rensselaer
Ind
Rich Relative Leaves Poor Rensselaer Man Fifty Thousand
Five years ago on a shabby Rensselaer farm a Walker-like renter faced poverty until a distant, cold relative named Russell Sage died and left his nephew Elizur Sage fifty thousand dollars. The tale frames wealth, hardship, and the moral shock of sudden fortune.
Trick of a partridge as it feigns injury to lure intruders
A naturalist in Siberia found a dunlin nest but witnessed the bird feign lameness and near death to lure a man away. The tame display included walking nearby and pecking as if feeding, then fleeing into the undergrowth exposing the nest’s location.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Siberia
Harper’s Weekly
Value of Good Teeth Observed in Cleveland School
The Cleveland Ohio principal reports improvement among nearly forty under observation students, linking tooth health to general well being and mental state. Two showed no improvement after dental fillings and instruction on cleaning and proper chewing.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cleveland
Ohio
Senator Fletcher and the Sleeping Car Berth Tale
In a Popular Magazine anecdote Senator Duncan A. Fletcher of Florida discovers another man with the same name occupying his berth on a Washington to southbound train. After the mix up the train wreck claims the other man’s life while Fletcher’s car remains unharmed. A Rev C W Penlow quote then reflects on youth and age with a noted witticism about forgiveness.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Duncan A. Fletcher
Florida
Washington
Fletcher
Statesman
Ietcher
Popular Magazine
When We Are Married We Will Live On Bread and Kisses
Dialogue snippet shows a couple in intimate banter about their future together. He jokes about bread and kisses. she rejects bread, implying a playful disagreement in a light domestic tone.
Mrs Selby Praises Cuticura Soap For Her Prize Baby
Mrs G A Selby of Redondo Beach California reports her five month old baby won a prize in a baby contest and attributes the health to Cuticura Soap and Ointment. She urges others to try Cuticura and notes many mothers thank her after she recommends it. A free sample and booklet are offered by Cuticur a Dept 20 L Boston.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
G. A. Selby
Redondo Beach
California
Boston
A Matter of Constitution Says Women Cannot Equal Men
A debate on women's rights frames equality as a constitutional matter. Proponents argue women endure hardships better, while opponents claim true change waits for even the smallest gain.
A Question of Art in a Quiet Exchange
In a brief dialogue two girls debate the artistry of a play. One questions its poetic nature while the other, candid, contends she understood and enjoyed every word, reflecting a nuanced view of theatre.
Sentence fragment about judgment of a man by accomplishments
The line suggests young women judge a man more by achievements than by possessions or status, implying value in outcomes over credentials.
Pain and swelling cured by Hamlins Wizard Oil
The notice states that pain and swelling rarely signal internal disease but stem from local cold or inflammation and can be quickly relieved by Hamlins Wizard Oil.
Will for the deed cannot reach the willionaire class
A pithy aphorism notes that those who seize the will for power never ascend to extreme wealth. The saying contrasts pursuit of control with true lasting riches and reflects on social mobility and merit.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Willionaire
Practical joke and marriage contracts in daily life
A wry note contrasts a practical joke with the seriousness of marriage as a contract, warning that jokers may overlook legal or social consequences. The piece hints at breaches in matrimony like contract jumpers as a humorous yet pointed observation.
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