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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Dec 22, 1904
Page
3
A collection of short, humorous items and quips from The Acantha in Choteau Montana. The notes touch on war news quality, a henpeck tragedy in Pennsylvania, dancing trends, Arctic explorer Peary, game in the woods, beauty spots, floods, Guatemalan ants, a Vancouver coffin incident, Scotch whisky, the Milwaukee christening, tobacco smuggling, and suggested antidotes.
An Indiana man unveils a fold ing chair designed to fit inside a hip pocket prompting speculation about the pocket's purpose. The inventor hints at convenience and novelty in portable seating.
The idea that alcohol can be produced from honey may cause some leisure seekers to rethink their harsh view of the industrious bee. The remark playfully links apiculture to drink, suggesting a lighter social mood around beekeeping and spirits.
The piece notes 10 000 militiamen with blistered feet at the last Bull Run battle and mentions the alake of Abeokuta heading to the country. Local alakes will receive him with honor, aligning to a formal reception tone.
Chicago notes show a shift toward vegetarianism with corn and rye products enjoying long standing popularity. The piece compares Japan’s peace terms to a malfunctioning typewriter and Russia’s reluctance to cooperate.
Crowds in New York gather to glimpse William Waldorf Astor, the eccentric figure whose fame makes even the phrase little old New York seem insufficient. The storied magnate draws curiosity and attention from city onlookers and society pages alike.
The quote reflects optimistic travelers who visited the falls recently, praising the chances they took to see the natural wonder before it could disappear in the distant future.
Gen Corbin opposes army officers marrying without War Department consent and critics wonder what Gen Ma will say. The debate centers on official approval and implications for military discipline. No further details are provided in the fragment.
Readers ask whether Prof. Metchnikoff has any involvement in dairy enterprises as a follow up to his sour milk elixir theory. The query seeks confirmation of any business ties or investments in dairy ventures.
A local note hints at Mr. Chesty Gullett pursuing political office in a southern state. The playful line suggests the outcome hinges on the election, implying a cautious outlook and interest from readers in the candidate's prospects.
The war department notes that a bowlegged man is as out of place in military service as a shortstop, though not exactly in those words.
A claim circulates that tobacco smuggling into the United States uses hay as concealment from Canada. The writer notes a longstanding suspicion that many campaign cigars smoked locally are in fact hay flavored and not tobacco.
Penelope at a seaside hotel toys with marriage plans while a comic chain of romantic misfires unfolds. Tom Hathaway kisses sand by accident, Fred crashes a boat, and Penelope's amused reactions spark a flurry of playful misunderstandings among the Devoted Circle at the club.
A poetic piece from Pearson's Weekly contemplates time as an old relentless companion. It describes time bringing pleasure and pain, introductions and severances, beauty fading, aging hair turning gray, and its constant presence every step up life’s ladder.
Fred and Malarack ferry Penelope to shore after a day of tension. On a park bench Penelope asks nervy questions and writes off a confession about powdery vanity. Malarack nerves, Penelope faints suddenly.
Russell Sage faced embarrassment at a Lynhurst lawn fete when Miss Helen Gould's rule required tickets for all entrants. Sage failed to bring his two tickets and paid two dollars at the gate to enter, only to discover the tickets later inside the grounds.
A criticized 19th century stereotype claims Japanese women carry babies strapped to their backs and describe childrearing as a rigid, undemonstrative practice. The account asserts no crying babies and mocks Western attempts to amuse Japanese children, noting a bent posture among girls and a quivering, restrained demeanor of motherhood.
At a Washington bazaar for the Russian Red Cross Countess Cassini consoled an elderly Senatorial wife after a third guest taunted her by saying she looked older that day. The Countess quipped that she was indeed older than ever before.
A baron recounts, in dramatic nautical fashion, that after a storm tore the rudder from their ship they improvised by using a cow on board. The narrator explains he replaced the missing rudder with the cow’s udder to steady the vessel.
In Leap Year dialogue a man questions if he intends to marry the daughter but the reply hinges on the daughter’s statement that she would like to marry him. The exchange underscores playful etiquette around marriage proposals.
A fragment from Town Topics imagines reactions to Daggs death and a quip about whether he reached heaven. The speaker vows to apologize on arrival and wonders if Daggs found heaven, prompting a humorous exchange about afterlife outcomes.
A stranger asks about a man named Kulcher and a Boston policeman confirms Kulcher lives in the block. The officer notes Kulcher’s home is the penultimate residence on the opposite side.
Dialogue note from Glasgow News shows a woman refusing a request for soap with a single bar in use by a servant. The fragmentized exchange hints at domestic struggle and a visitor pressing for necessities. No further persons or places are specified beyond Glasgow.
A humorous exchange describes a dust protector worn over the wife’s mouth as a gag gift. The husband notes it might keep the dust out but jokes it certainly silences her during long car trips.
A father asks his daughter about her first day at school. She replys that she learned a lot and that she has learned the names of all the boys. The exchange captures a child’s fresh outlook on education.
In a brief comic exchange the salesman answers a tall lady buying a fur cloak with a quip about its fit. The clerk notes the garment appears shorter on the tall customer, then pivots to assure the fur looks the same on either figure.
In a Modern Society note, Smithers states he lights one cigar from another due to heavy smoking. He adds matches would cost more. The exchange reflects humorous remarks on frugality and smoking habits and the cost of fuel.
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