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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Dec 21, 1905
Page
2
The Choteau Acantha notes fifteen vacant tablets in the Hall of Fame and comments on public manners with quirky asides about insomnia and snoring. It also parodies the Taggart case moral about a man who teaches his wife to drink whiskey.
A series of brief, satirical items references a planned livestock census and jokes about age reporting. It mentions Dr. Osler changing his stance on chloroform, Christy Mathewson recalled for past fame, a tuning note for car horns, and a Chicago arrest for “one wife too many” plus a Russian prince fined for speeding.
The Boston Globe notes oysters are large and plentiful this year and reports that many churches have voted to use two at each social event.
The text argues for universal peace while noting a flashy invention a field gun that fires 300 shots per minute. It also mentions Dewey at Manila and a doubtful comment about Taft losing weight as a punny misunderstanding.
The man of science argues kissing is an unpleasant custom and suggests using a standardized method like King Alfonso's to select a spouse. He implies such a system could simplify divorce by letting neighbors pick a wife for a man.
A Lancaster boarding house resident who cooked buzzard in a potpie was fined amid debate over justice. The case drew strong calls for harsher punishment, with some urging the man be forced to eat the dish himself.
The Brook lyn baby dubbed the scientific infant has never tasted meat candy or cake and faces a long life ahead with plans for future treats if he survives to adulthood.
A Berlin professor states that a girl's bite is frequently fatal and that a bite can mysteriously end a box of chocolate creams early, highlighting perilous danger linked to a seemingly sweet act.
A claim circulates that spice rich foods worn by the wealthy corrupt morals. The question arises whether common cooks like farmers using nutmeg in apple pie face the same critique.
A Pittsburg court will determine the money capacity of a woman's stocking, though it is noted this will not help the average man reach it.
Editors debate the $85,000 price of a New York Stock Exchange seat with Portland Press noting the buyer appears to have secured a seat, while others doubt the deal's significance.
Fall fashion in women’s hosiery shows rain bow hues and bold designs in shop windows. Public opinion remains unknown after a muddy day reveals no clear popularity.
A court decision addresses a bizarre claim about a rat trap kept in a husband’s pocket to catch his wife during sleep. The ruling clarifies legal limits on personal contraband and spousal consent in domestic disputes.
A Philadelphia man received a $20 letter unsigned, prompting his nomination for first vice president of the Amalgamated Association of Trouble Borrowers.
A young man in a London theater wore a necktie made entirely of diamonds and was nearly mobbed by the crowd. Reporters note he was believed American, raising questions where a diamond shirt might be.
A contemporary quip declares the problem with French statesmen is excessive talk. It notes that removing the adjective would have covered all ground, delivering a witty reflection on rhetoric and emphasis.
Col P H H Massy recalls the bicycle craze and Frank Lenz murder in Asia Minor notes from the Geo graphical Journal. He recounts a Turkish official handling a revolver inscription to Lenz and reflects on the origin of horseshoes with Marcus Aurelius era evidence from Rome. Water in Turkey is praised for purity and health value.
Eleven elderly women with an average age of 78 completed a 4.25 mile walk in about one hour forty five minutes. Led by a 78 year old photographer, they formed a lively列 competition with two 80 year olds Mrs Maria Mueller and Mrs Susan Deckhart finishing in a dead heat. They credit hard work, regular routines and early to bed rising habits for their vigor.
The Sowersby rectory birthplace of Alfred Lord Tennyson is for sale, with the room where he was born overlooking the lawn and the nearby church where his father preached. The estate includes Holy Well Glen and a crumbling “cray old grange” tied to the poet’s childhood, plus nearby spots linked to his poems and memories. Spilsby and Mablethorpe are within easy reach for visitors tracing the poet’s early life.
Dr. Franklin criticizes 40 year old medical training for weak preliminary exams obstetrics and anaesthetics while acknowledging progress. He questions two obstetric cases as trivial and notes a trend toward specialization driven by practice competition and public demand. He urges public education to distinguish quality in specialism and to curb fraudulent advertising in both America and England.
In Maine lore, Jim Reagan the shrewd Irish horse trader and friend of James G Blaine is remembered for two episodes. He offers a buyer five hundred dollars for a horse, who counters with a hundred and a quarter, and Reagan quips the horse is his. In a second tale Reagan counts out three hundred dollars, then cleverly pockets fifty cents for the halter, keeping the horse.
A medical missionary report from Liangtan Hunan describes Dr Vanderburgh guiding a Chinese surgeon who attempted a knee tumor operation. The Chinese doctor was imprisoned but later released after a risky rescue. the patient survived. The piece then shifts to a feature on genius and eccentricity, citing Cosimo de Medici, Goya, and Michelangelo with anecdotes from Leslie's Weekly.
Emile Mors the French automobile expert joined a New York parade on Fifth Avenue but was blocked by police activity. He observed loud threats and frequent arrests as officers cleared the crowd to give police full view of the procession.
A photographer explains why none of his wife and children will sit for him. He says professionals avoid photographing relatives to ensure fair treatment, comparing it to doctors, lawyers, and dressmakers using others for their own kin.
A social club held its annual convention in a hall by a refreshment area. Members relaxed with steins and cigarettes as business began. A late delegate asked if the convention was called to order, and a waiter quipped that they are ordering quite freely.
A San Francisco reader praises a woman who keeps a ready wardrobe for every invitation and season. She plans and buys quietly, avoiding hurried scrambling and flurried moments, though the effort to select versatile clothes is hard and requires a clever manager.
Women view economy as not just frugality but wise administration of funds. Rules include paying cash, judging needs by lasting value, living within income, and keeping accounts. The text links true economy to diligence, caution, and avoiding laziness and extravagance.
The annual report shows nearly 1,000 affiliated schools and 5,000 certificates yearly for 100 yard boys and 50 yard girls. About 60,000 children are taken to baths weekly for swimming lessons and life saving. Forty five youths are honored on the Roll of Honor by the Royal Humane Society.
A fragmented lyric fragment describes stars as eyes that glow with love as the speaker faces a long night. Recurrent motifs include sleep, shadows, and a distant beloved figure guiding or watching over the narrator. The piece reads like a tender, incomplete meditative verse.
A fragmentary chatter at a summer resort hints at local intrigue about a hotel keeper named Gouger. The Louisville Courier-Journal notes a joke about propriety and politeness versus calling him a highwayman, reflecting social gossip and a humorous exchange.
A Kansas romance recalls a cyclone encounter that led to marriage. The narrator explains waking in a ruined pumping station with her husband, reflecting on how fate unites people in unlikely moments. The Chicago Record Herald notes the tale's curious twist of fate.
A narrator recalls Col Bluegrass recounting a decanter once owned by Washington and a boastful claim from a peculiar man. The anecdote notes there was no real liquid in the bottle, highlighting disbelief at the claimant's pride.
A playful domestic vignette contrasts Mayme and Maybelle with Mr and Mrs Pyrrh Simmons. It describes a romantic courtship as the season’s notable, humorous contrast between charm and plainness in a seaside setting.
Night editor describes repeated messenger calls as like pressing a camera button and the messenger boy taking a rest while city editor asks what the camera is. A Cleveland Leader quip reflects newsroom pressure and humor.
Mrs Wigg objected to expensive casket and fittings as the undertaker insistently notes they are included as a courtesy to a regular customer. The judge remarks on the unusual concession given to her.
A witty exchange features Gerald declaring a fool is born every minute while Geraldine counters that no man should be alone, reflecting sharp humor about relationships.
Mrs Oldcastle remarks on keeping a reserve of Fidus Achates for a guest as the hostess pours tea. Josiah jokes about the strong liquor burning a hole in a blanket.
A humorous exchange unfolds as Distressed Correspondent asks the beauty editor for a wart cure. The editor replies with a counter question about the ailment, riffing on the format of letters to the column.
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