Cedar Rapids Gazette (Newspaper) - December 29, 1974, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
gA The Cedar Rapids Gazette:
Sun., Dec. 29, 1974
As the photo indicates this is a 1925 class of the Cedar Rapids Business college. A close look will show that the fellow on the far left and the fellow on the far right are one and the same. Lester L. Mutt, 68, Woodward, the
father of Mrs. John Battin, 2304 Bever avenue SE, achieved this quite simply. He was standing on the left when the camera started to ’ pan'’ the group. After it passed him he ran behind the group and was standing on the right end by the time the camera reached there. Hutt is recently retired after farming 40 years in the Madrid area.
The Cedar Rapids Gazette: Sun., Dec. 29, 1974
Startling “Facts” About Santa Claus
By Gary Petersai
For those of you who missed the Christmas edition of the North Pole News, we d like to reprint in part some of the news that Gazette reporters somehow missed.
Incidentally, the North Pole News was written, edited and published by Mrs. Gaylon Dahn’s fifth grade class at Grant Wood school.
The newspaper contained all of the elements of a good newspaper, investigative reporting, human interest stories, women’s news, consumer news, cartoons, a Dear Dasher column, weather, and, of course, a want ads section.
One reporter covered Santa s visit with the Presided in Washington, D C., and talks at the North Pole between the President and Santa’s head elf,
The paper’s creation evolved from the class’ study of news and each member of the class contributed at least one item of news in the Christmas theme
Mrs. Dahn said to give the students a true feeling of accomplishment, the paper was put out in each student’s handwriting.
The emphasis was placed on creativity and not on grammar and spelling, she said.
The paper reported such startling news as how Santa’s portliness necessitated the purchase of a gas-powered sleigh ... he was getting too fat for the reindeer to pull. Another possible reason, according to R. Griggs, staff writer, was that Rudolph couldn’t fly because his nose fell off.
The consumer reporter revealed Mrs. Claus didn't do her regular Christmas baking this year “because sugar, flour and all the necessities are too expensive. ”
According to writer Dwight Bode, Santa was observed leaving the Polar Bear Bar. He quoted the bartender as saying Santa was drunk. This was a follow story to one in which Bode disclosed that a collision had occurred between Santa's sleigh and a snowmobile.
Santa reportedly threatened to put a “lump of coal in the snowmobiler’s stocking ”
Another story in the paper hinted that Mrs. Claus had been selected to bt* the centerfold picture in Playboy magazine, and that Santa himself would appear in Playgirl magazine.
However, no sources were offered in the story and it ran without a byline.
Other fillers in the paper, written by Ricky and Clark Cackler, included the fact that Tiddle the elf was “frost bittin’ in a
snowball fight,” and that “polar bears had been trying out new sports like skiing, which one fellow tried and broke his toenail. ’’
And what newspaper would be complete without some women’s liberation news? The North Pole News had its share.
“Mrs. Claus says she and the little female elves are feed up with all the baking and making for Christmas. They want to make toys also. ’’
The story, written by Kirsten Kirsch, went on to say that “they are tired of baking at least one quadrillion, all the same kind. And they have to be perfect or they are burned
“Mrs. Claus and the little elves say they are planning a 4th world war. Good Luck Guys,” the story ended.
In a story headlined “Mrs. Santa Claus Is becoming a Liberated Woman!!!”, Robyn Griggs and Judi Moorman reported:
“Ms. llelma Claus, (Mrs. Santa Claus) has declared she no longer wants to be known as Mrs. Santa Claus, because she has become a liberated woman! She says this year she will refuse* to make candycanes and cookies for ‘little punks who can’t do it themselves.’
“She said this year she would go in the sleigh and Santa would stay home and make the goodies.
“Santa doesn’t agree with this, he says its all a bunch of monkeyshine!
“Mrs. Santa says if he doesn't agree she ll use her kung-fu-fighting powers and kick him out of the sleigh!”
Santa’s (.’lese Call
Another story we didn t manage to get in The Gazette had to do with a close call for Santa.
“While Clint Eastwood was making a movie called ’Hang ’em High’, in one of the
scenes, he was shooting up in the air to scare some people away, and he accidentally shot down Santa Claus!
“He suffered a broken leg, but says he w ill be able to make his rounds on Christmas eve. He says ail the reindeer are all right except Rudolph’s nose got shot off ”
The latter apparently gave more validity to earlier reports that Rudolph's nose fell off. Good investigative work Brad S., Chris ll. and Ben G.
Perhaps the nest news in the paper to both adult and child was written by R. Griggs.
“Mrs Santa Claus found out from Dr. Donner that she is expecting They are hoping for a new baby boy to take Santa’s place when he passes on .”
They Eat Cash
Vending machines are serving “instantu supageti” to hurried diners in Tokyo.
Noodle-loving Japanese have a demonstrated yen for spaghetti, but it is tm) soon to tell if they will take to the mechanical chefs.
The coin-activated machines remove individual servings of noodles from refrigerated compartments arn! transfer the noodles to heated cooking compartments. Packets of meat sauce are warmed at the same time. After 27 seconds, the two are combined and out pop steaming orders of spaghetti and meat sauce on disposable plates.
Entire lunchrooms in factories, hospitals, and office buildings offer meals served hot or cold from coin-operated machines. For anyone lacking coins, machines in snack bars and air and rail terminals now swallow paper money and shell out the correct change.
Tokyo and Osaka, Japan’s other major city, already have coin machines that dispense a whiff of oxygen into a face mask for pedestrians gasping amid traffic fumes. The device is a boon to hangover victims.
Around the world, the National Geographic Society reports, vending machines daily supply everything from peanuts and candy to groceries and flowers
All of this may have started more than 2.,HNI years ago when a Chinese temple installed an ingenious gadget that caused an idol to shed tears of condensed steam when cash offerings landed in a box.
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