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Newspaper
Carthage Record
Location
Carthage, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Oct 06, 1905
Page
3
A collection of quips on gender roles and human folly. The speaker muses on prudence, court life, debt, voting, and the comic errors of crowds, with sharp views on how men and women interact in daily life. Sentences blend humor with social critique in a casual newspaper voice.
A compact note points out that the sentence forms a pangram, listing Ezra vii 21 and a Bible verse about the king Artaxerxes and a decree. It notes the alphabet appears across phrases including God gives the blazing ox his meat, and lines about praise and sheep.
A Baltimore physician recounts boarding a crowded Charles street car. A large German man sprawled across two seats while a wan woman clung to a strap. The doctor challenged the man to yield a seat, only to hear the man reply that the woman was his wife, delivering a twist of humor from Harper's Weekly.
Deep Valley Pennsylvania reports a child suffering rheumatism for years improved immediately after taking Dodd's Kidney Pills. The parent claims complete cure and notes rheumatism stems from diseased kidneys. The advertisement asserts kidney health prevents uric acid and rheumatism.
Harper’s Weekly recalls a failed Broadway style farce from years ago. The production drew only fifteen patrons at a Wednesday matinee in Brooklyn with a lone girl in the front of the house and a lone young man in the balcony. The yacht deck scene opened with the leading man’s line about a purple sea, met by the balcony reply.
Western lawyer recalls a trial where a hard looking defendant faced a hungry plea for mercy. The defense counsel sobbing swore his client meant no harm and sought bread money, noting the pocketbook with $500 lay in the bureau drawer but the defendant claimed he did not see it.
A translated Tales fragment notes a character refusing payment for two kisses while granting permission to use the speaker’s name as a reference in a charity bazaar setting. The line hints at a playful or romantic exchange within a period piece.
An old advertisement notes a white clothes cleaner named Gross Ball Blue priced at 5 cents for a 2 ounce package. It emphasizes beauty and clarity of fabrics as a selling point.
The Sunday School lesson outlines Daniel in the lions den from Daniel 6 10 23 with a focus on faithfulness prayer and deliverance. It contrasts the king s weakness in the palace with Daniel s steadfastness in the den and notes a moral urging trust in God.
A fragment reflects thoughts on marriage and intelligence, suggesting skepticism about choosing a partner for smartness. The line hints at personal conflict and gender expectations without broader context or named individuals.
An old advertisement touts Caticura Soap Ointment and Pills to cleanse skin and blood of tormenting humors for 91.00. It cites eczema psoriasis scalled head pimples ring worm milk crust and salt rheum and mentions infant suffering and weary parents. Includes literary quotes and remarks on teething and divinity.
Emperor William sails with prominent guests who are awakened at 5 AM to dress and line up for military drill supervised by the yacht drill master. The gym houses an electric horse that jumps and plunges, sparking laughter at the clumsy and portly among the guests as the emperor enjoys the spectacle.
A fragment quotes a New York Times line on betting systems, noting the futility of beating the odds. It captures a cryptic comment about wagering approaches without broader context or additional facts.
Whitneys remark about inventing the gin and the missed chance to create the ginfizz or ginnicky is quoted from the Kansas City Telegram, illustrating a wry reflection on invention and commerce.
A translated Tales line depicts a patient lamenting false teeth that fail to improve comfort, with a dentist noting natural teeth once caused pain too, highlighting contrasts in dental care perceptions.
A New Jersey woman describes severe weekly indigestion linked to coffee. After quitting coffee in 1901 and switching to Postum she reports complete relief, restored health, and renewed vigor. The testimonial is attributed to Postum Co. Battle Creek Michigan with a reference to The Road to Wellville.
The piece lauds a master calligrapher M. Sofer who writes the entire national anthem within a single grain of wheat and crafts portraits from biographies. It recalls ancient feats by Pedotti, Peter Bales, and Henry Mason, noting similar microtext portraits at the British Museum and Oxford, with lines revealing vast verses under magnification.
A Southern newspaper editor and part owner, prone to delays during social evenings, avoids dismissal by improvising a leading editorial copy. At midnight the foreman finds him in a saloon, then steals a New York Times lead, pastes it on the paper, and writes We cannot agree with the New York Times when it says, sending the edition to press before the editor returns to the saloon.
A helper on Senator De Pew's Hudson estate gains a strong letter of recommendation but hints at wanting a higher post. The anecdote ends with a remark on trust and the limits of secret knowledge, attributed to Exchange and Richter.
The Boston Herald notes Emperor Paul formed the Pavlovski unit famed for its members’ markedly turned up noses. The regimental ritual included blowing noses before the emperor’s inspections, a quirk linked to Paul’s vanity and alleged madness, while modern descendants keep the tradition alive.
A translated quip recalls a husband who once enjoyed his wife's scent but now cannot bear it. He jokes that marriage doubles his smoking burden, as he must smoke two cigars for every one, a wry line about domestic life and humorous sacrifice.
A puzzling quote explores perception after an unknown event as a speaker recalls hearing, smelling, and feeling a machine pass, yet failing to see it. The fragment hints at an accident or incident where sensory evidence precedes visibility, leaving the exact number of automobiles unclear.
Mrs Henry A Reamer of South Bend Indiana credits Dean's Kidney Pills with saving her life after wasting kidney trouble left her weak nervous and in danger of heart failure Dropsy and chest bloating eased and she praises the remedy Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY Also a noted quip condemns bigots and promotes Red Cross whitening efforts with a 2 oz package priced at 5 cents
An old time testimonial column extols Mull's Grape Tonic as a cure for stomach and bowel troubles, dyspepsia, liver pain, constipation, and nervous collapse. Names include Mr Thompson of Peoria, Dr Dill of St Louis, Dr Hedrick of Kansas, Mr Crow of St Louis, and Mr McCurdy of Troy Ohio, claiming rapid cures after varied long-standing ailments.
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